Miss Cheetah When
my girls and I sit around and talk about dating, the topic of birth
control always comes up. We usually talk about our experiences with
birth control and how it fits into our daily lives. Most of us swear by
the shot, while others are quite content with birth control pills.
When
I asked if all our significant others knew about our birth control
options, they all replied their SOs never cared to find out, and they
never thought about informing them.
I think both parties in a
relationship should be equally educated about birth control. I always
think it's better to be safe than sorry regarding birth control. My
friend Al used to ask about his girlfriend's contraception to make sure
they were on the same page. They both would find the time in their
relationship to discuss these options just in case anything were to
happen.
Along with birth control options, there comes a point in
every relationship where both parties need to discuss their feelings on
sexual protection as well. I know that lots of people find that topic
taboo, but if I love myself and believe in protecting myself and my
partner doesn't, there won't be a relationship, let alone relations!
How did you discuss contraception with your SO?
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Comments (69)
It's a conversation that you just really need to have if you are thinking about sex. It's up to you and your partner to protect each other equally from anything you may not want happening once you have sex, namely getting an STD or getting pregnant. If you're adult enough to have sex, you're adult enough to just flat out have this conversation about birth control.
it's been a big talking point between myself and my SO lately, since we're in college now and we spend a lot of our time alone even though we still hang out at my house and not my dorm. she's been forgetting to call the doctor to make an appointment, and i've been forgetting to remind her, and we've been getting dangerously close to doing the deed, so after her period is over we're both going to make sure she remembers. she also has TERRIBLE periods, they last sometimes for almost 2 weeks, sometimes they come every 3 weeks, she has cramps and her boobs hurt for sometimes up to two weeks before she starts. she's always in a lot of pain and she's incredibly moody, so we both know she needs it for quite a few reasons.
her parents took a lot of convincing. they thought she was just gonna get it so she could have sex. she told them frankly; if something happens, she wants to be safe, and her periods have been crazy for about 8 years and her parents have done nothing to help her. so we're doing it on our own.
My boyfriend knows about my pills and everything. He's glad I have them. He just randomly asked one day (before we were sexually active) if I had birth control. And that was that.
@harmonyminusmelody@xanga - I'm so glad I didnt have to convince my mom to get me birth control. I've had bad periods since I first got them in like 7th grade. And I think when I was in 9th grade I finally got birth control. Although at that time I was def. not having sex. But it made it easier for me not to worry about getting pregnant, when I started having sex.
wow...that's surprising
if you're not mature enough to discuss contraception with your SO, you're probably not mature enough to deal with the consequences of contraception failure :P
my boyfriend helped me choose which kind of contraception, and helps me remember to take the BC pills at the right time!
I have to confess that first times with my, now, ex were under the sign of pure and irresponsible PASSION. Just after some time we both realized we were playing with fire and had a talk about.
It was something as: I'm not ready to be a mother. Oh, and I'm not ready to be a father! Let's protect.
So it went on quite naturally about condoms and using them.
Thinking back, it wasn't that hard talking about it. Almost spontaneous and natural..
I'm pretty blunt with the people I choose to date with all types of bodily functions. I don't see how I could be any different.
I'm surprised to find out that there are actually people that don't care what their significant others use.
Assuming its a monogamous relationship w/o the worry of STDs, the only thing to protect from is unwanted preganancy. Here's my thought it with my partners 'Helloooooo if I get pregnant, you're gonna be screwed too...so you better be just as worried!'
my boyfriend and i never really talked about it, it just was assumed we'd use condoms. and since i was a virgin he assumed i wasnt on birth control (which i'm not). i want to go on the pill but i cant right now bc my parents control the money and theyre hardcore catholic and me having sex is not something i want them finding out about...
If people would do what they are supposed to, and wait until they're married, they wouldn't have to worry about it.
Part of this blog says "I love myself" - that's the problem - too many people are looking out for #1 - but they seem to forget that God is #1, they are lucky to be #2.
If you don't want kids - don't have sex.
We just discussed it long time ago. It wasn't that big of a deal. If you're going to have sex with someone, you should be able to bring up birth control.
Before me and my ex had sex for the first time, I went nuts and found out all the info I could about BC because at that time the pill wasn't an option for me. I decided to get the depo-provera shot and let him know how it works, and what exactly it does since it's not like the pill.
I also found out about the ring, the patch (too showy), IUD (not an option since I don't have kids and it's pretty expensive), female condoms, diapraghms, spermicidal gel/films... list goes on. Well only for a few more.
I don't think the talk stuck with him because he got his g/f after me pregnant... and she's 2 years younger than me and still in high school.
*sigh*
@chiltons99@xanga - I always thought I would wait until marriage. I'm sure alot of girls thought that. But it is very unrealistic in today's world..
i told him, "hey...i'm on the pill for menstrual cramps; no wishful thinking!"
it's also a good thing i'm on it now because we're not planning on having kids until he's out of pharmacy school (in about 4 years).
on that note, he tells ME about my bcp, lol.
@LaLaLici0us@xanga - It's not unrealistic if you love God.
We didn't discuss birth control.
I've actually never discussed birth control with a partner.
I think it's always been assumed that if we're stupid enough to get pregnant, then we shouldn't be having sex.
@chiltons99@xanga - it is unrealistic. i love God, and i want to be ready if something happens. i lived in the bible belt of the world, western NC, for 12 years of my life. i was just taught "no sex or God and all his angels will cry and you will never be the same and you will be a degenerate". i was never taught what to do IF, or what the situation would be like. i HAVE been in the situation and i have held off. it just is unrealistic in today's world where many people don't (or can't) get married until mid 20s to later. back in those days, people didn't have relationships before marriage, not like we do anyway, and they married at 14 and 15 and the latest 19.
i'm sorry to pop your bubble, but i am a southern baptist living in virginia and, surprise surprise, i'm not planning on not having sex. on not planning on having it per se, but i'm not going to be naive or just plain ignorant and say i will absolutely abstain.
Honestly, I'm a big worrier. My fiancé and I have talked repeatedly about our contraceptive options. I'm currently on the pill, which fits great into my morning routine. However, we have agreed to keep using condoms until we're willing to run the risk of having a baby(yes I know there's always a risk, but we're double teaming it).
We had a long talk about birth control, but it seems I made the decisions on what we'd use. He said he wanted to make sure what we use is easiest for me.
I was planning on waiting till marriage, but I found love and I'm not ready to get married. I think that's what you should wait for, love.
I've never really had the talk, either, because it's always been assumed a condom will be used. I've been through a phase where I was randomly sleeping with friends and such...and there would be no genitals even in close proximity to each other without a condom on. I made that clear as they would try...
With my current boyfriend, the first couple of times we had sex were completely unprotected. I wasn't very good (at age 19) of speaking my worries or concerns. After two times, though, I told him, "You might want to start using condoms..." He asked why and I told him, "Unless you wanna be a daddy already, yeah, you definitely want to use them from now on." That was all it took.
As time went on we quit using anything (even pulling out) and after a year and a half I got pregnant. Things didn't work out that time around and we went to using vaginal strips (where they dissolve similarly to those Listerine Pocket Strips) but they didn't work very well and were very hard to insert...so we quit. A year and a half after the first pregnancy ended, we were (and still are) pregnant again.
After this baby, I'm going on Mirena.
when i was on Depo (the shot) I told my SO what it was and how it works and how many times i go in to get it. I just recently switched to the Pill and he was asking me questions about it so I informed him. I thought it was cool he asked! Now when my alarm goes off at 9pm each night he says "Take your pill... dont wanna get pregnant!" It makes me laugh!
When we started dating, my husband asked if I wanted to use condoms, since he'd had gfs who despised them. I wasnt a huge fan of them myself, but I was nervous about taking a pill daily. We used them for 2 years, but had decided on our 2 year anniversary (we'd taken off work for the day and it was the only day I could get a gyno appt) that I would take the BC pill "plunge". I know he was sick of condoms, and the few times we risked it and did the pull out method, I loved the feeling of that much more.
We discussed the different methods together, and then I discussed them again with the gyno. We decided to start with Yaz! and see how it worked out for me (if I liked the daily thing). I've been taking Yaz! for a year and a half now, and it's been great. He's known, of course, since we talked about it together. Sometimes he'll ask me if I remembered my pill, though I've only forgotten it once since Feb 07, and it was a white pill that was just there as a reminder.
@harmonyminusmelody@xanga - You're not popping any bubble of mine. It doesn't matter if you live in the Bible capitol of the world. It doesn't matter where you live or what you are taught by people. It's what God teaches in His Word.
Today's world might be different than the "old" days - but God is the same. (Hebrews 13:8) And He still says no until marriage. (Hebrews 13:4 is one of many references)
God doesn't sit up in Heaven and just cry His eyes out when we sin. He knows it before we do it. And He expects us not to willfully go against Him. If you want to go against Him while claiming you love Him, you don't have to explain it to me or anyone else. But you will explain it to Him when you meet Him. (Romans 14:12)
If you say you can't wait - you are just saying you have no self control.
It's not a big deal. My SO made me quit smoking because she cared about my health. My concern for her cycle and contraceptives is the along the same lines. It's not a sexual issue so much as it's a health issue.
@chiltons99@xanga - then we agree to disagree. many things are meant to be doctrine of the times- don't plant more than one plant in the same field, don't wear two different kinds of fabric. i believe that was one of them. my girlfriend and i have talked about it numerous times. when we started dating, i was aggressively pro-abstinence. however, as time went on and i began experienced thoughts and emotions and situations that i was never taught about, my view point changed. we haven't said "yes, we are going to have sex". instead, we have said "yes, we will be prepared."
@harmonyminusmelody@xanga - It's not me you disagree with - it's God. He is God, He said it in His Word, He means it, and He never changes. Thoughts, emotions, and situations - they are all to be watchful of. The Bible speaks of this also. If you trust in a situation, you aren't trusting in God. Same with your thoughts or emotions. Temptation comes from the devil, not the Lord. God promises a way out of every temptation. You can't claim to follow God and live in the ways of the world.
There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. - Proverbs 14:12
This is a VERY important topic to discuss with your SO! If you're having sex with him or her, you should also be mature enough to talk about contraceptives!
You'll have to talk together about whether you're going to use a condom or another barrier method, so as to prevent STDs as well as pregnancies, or if you're just going to use the pill or another similar contraceptive to protect solely against pregnancy.
I find that often times, people don't know that they can carry an STD without having any symptoms. It's important to get checked!