Wednesday, 15 October 2008
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Dear Dr. Datingish: I Still Think about My Ex Sometimes
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My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for over two years now after a long-term relationship. I've moved on and liked other guys, but sometimes he still crosses my mind. I just reminisce of the times we shared. Does that mean I'm not over him, or is it simply normal?
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Comments (50)
awww HUGS** I feel the same way too..... *but I try not to*
We both moved on
I think that's normal, or perhaps there are some un-finished business?
There's nothing wrong with that.
It's normal to think back on sweet moments you shared together.
I think it is completely normal you can't just erase someone out of your life and memories like they were never there. I am married to my second husband and sometimes the memories of my first husband pop up but I am over him and have been for years. But there were good times in my first marriage. This doesn't mean I love my current husband any less.
Normal. How could you not still think about them occasoinally? As long as they are not in your every thought, it would seem natural.
I think it's normal. It sucks sometimes but it's normal. Surely when you find someone better you won't think about him as much.
Glad to see that everyone here thinks this is normal. I was so worried when I read the entry that people were going to be like, "OMG That's horrible!!!" hehe. I apparently have little faith in the xanga community.
I still wonder, every so often, what my exes are up to, just as I wonder about childhood friends. They are a part of my past, they are a part of who I am today. I can't ignore that. I don't obsess over the guys. My bf totally understands that the people in our lives will pop up periodically; the same happens to him. I actually ran into my ex at church a couple months ago (after not losing touch for about 3 years) and it was fine... after I got over the shock of realizing that we go to the same church. I guess that wasn't relevant, but I'm procrastinating at work right now, so I keep thinking of things to say, hehe.
Summary: as long as there's no obsession, the occasional thought of an ex is perfectly normal and acceptable.
It's all a part of growing and moving on. You shouldnt forget about your past as it is what makes you for who you are. Good memories are meant to be remembered & cherished. Bad memories should help you learn not to repeat them. Make the most of those fun times w/your ex into something you and your current SO can add to or make better. In time, it'll be good memories and memories you can share w/your ex about the things you used to do or didn't do or could do too. It's all good....
I think it's completely normal, especially when you've dated someone for 2 years. That's a long time to date someone so obviously you're going to think about him every once in a while. It will definately take time to heal but I don't think you need to forget everything about him. Don't dwell on all the bad things that happened but remember the good times too!!
I think it's normal. I think about my ex boyfriends every now and then, especially when I start seeing someone new. Even though I'm done with my exes, I did like things about them, so I hope I find similar qualities in future boyfriends, just with more added to them.
At some point we were very close too, and had good memories. Certain things, no matter how long ago it was, will always remind me of him.
Then again, I feel the same way about friends I no longer speak to. It's just human nature.
I think it's normal. When you're that close with someone, especially for a long period of time, (more than 6months imo) you've shared a lot, you've grown a lot and the majority of the experiences that you would have gone through would have been shared with him.
Therefore, when you reminisce, of course memories of him are going to come back. However, like other writers have posted, if it's not happening all the time, and only comes when certain stimuli occur - for example, a particular song - then you should be OK.
My current girlfriend got out of a serious relationship of around 2 years about 6 months before we started dating, and even now (two years on) we both still talk about him from time to time. It's natural, and I dont mind. No-one can be expected to wipe the slate clean and start afresh after every relationship. All you can really do is try and reduce your exposure to those certain stimuli, and keep yourself busy and active!
Good luck... :)
This is absolutely normal. Don't worry about it:).
Normal, as long as you're not thinking about him 24/7 and it isn't affecting your relationships.
I still think of my ex every once in awhile.
Not in positive light...but still he crosses my mind. I think it's just a..."they were a part of my life"...so they are going to cross your mind from time to time.
I'm like you too. It has been 3 years and I still haven't completely got over my ex. My New Year's resolution every year is the same - To get over him. It's really hard. =(
It does suck!! Trying to forget or not think about that person who you think you are over with!!! Their images just keep on running in mind sign:(
It's natural. You're just remembering happy times, and that he had made you happy for a time in your life.
It's perfectly normal. They're memories, they're created to remember them. (If that made any sense. . )
If you had a particularly good (or bad) time you'll remember it most.
Shoot, completely normal! I've been married for 3 1/2 years and have a child with my DH and I still think about my ex. My ex was my first and we dated for 3 years. We went thru a lot together and kind of helped each other grow up. I've been thinking about him lately, so I went and found him on facebook. Turns out he's doing well, married with one kid and another on the way. We both expressed happiness for each other in our current lives. It's nice that now, 6 years later, we can kind of be friends again. So while I do think of him from time to time, it's more like "wow, look at how far we both have come from where we were." So again, totally normal!
I think it's normal to think about an ex and smile as long as you know you don't want them back; just remember the good times you had because it is a part of what has shaped you into the person you are today. :)
Yes, I still think about my ex. It's normal.Well, honestly I'm still in love with him but he has a new girlfriend. Yeah, I still want him back but I know I can't. He was a big part of my life and he will always be...
it could mean that you're not over him. but it is also normal especially cause he was a part of your life for a long time. if you dont get out of bed, you get sad or lonely when you hear or see something that reminds you of him, or you think about him with other guys you may still have it bad! but it's okay i have been in that same boat not even that long ago. and we tried to make it work again but it was just a waste of time and actually made it harder to forget about him and move on. but im happy to say im over it now. for real this time! and happier than i ever was w/ that bastard.
@Angelina_Everlong@xanga -
Wow, your therapist was right. It took me three solid years to almost the date to get over my ex.
Hi I am in a similar but different situation. Me an my ex broke up five years ago. We did so in a good manner. We kept contact for awhile. I met someone else and moved on. He had moved on a couple of times if you know what I mean. I have been with my husband for four years, we have a daughter, and I still think about my ex. I love my husband but the feelings I have for my ex are so strong. I guess its because my husband and my ex are so different. I feel like calling him all the time, but I dont out of respect for my husband. I am scared that if given the opportunity I would go back to my ex. Is this normal? What can I do?
I am experiencing this too right now. Adn I believe it's completely normal. Since you've spent part of your life with that special someone, there're always things that remind you about them. I guess it's just part of the process of moving on.