This is a guest blog submitted by tokimon. During the time my ex and I were together...a whole year...he was secretly emailing a girl he really liked over in Japan. He says she's just a friend, that nothing ever happened between them and that they were good friends for the year he was studying abroad there. I was uncomfortable with the fact and told him so, that it made me unhappy. And he promised me he wouldn't talk to her ever again.
I found out that he had made a secret email account entirely dedicated to emailing her. And he even sent her "<3" character when I had explained to him long ago that I felt that was something special to send to a girl he loved...and he said he understood. He said he loved me. But I saw that he sent her this character...and he said he did it because he didn't think I'd ever be reading these emails.
Now he says that he won't email her again. He says that he only loves me and that he can't help who he likes. I want to ask...do you think this is true? Is it possible that emotional cheating isn't as bad as I feel it is? I also figured that if I truly love a guy, there would never be another guy I'd ever meet while I'm with my BF...that would make me share my feelings for.
Comments (115)
i say you steal her email address and send her hate mail! lol if it makes you feel bettter why the hell not?? threaten him with it too. how would he feel if you were emailing other guys that you 'couldn't help but like'? i could understand why you're frustrated! and you dont have to be insecure to be upset when the person you are in love with says he 'can't help who he likes' obviously it's gonna make you feel like sh*t and/or paranoid. as for cheating, i think emotional cheating is bad but not as bad as physically cheating. im sorry but if i found my guy having sex or kissing another girl i would flip the f*ck out; more than i would if i caught him sending emails to somebody halfway across the world! but that's just me. anyways if he can't understand why you feel the way you do about the situation regardless of whether or not the other chick is in Jamaica, or next door or whatever he needs to be cut off. i mean why do it then if he's not expecting anything to happen with her? what's the point of wasting his time when he has a lovely girlfriend at home? only you know all of the details of your relationship so if you feel that he is taking you forgranted or the relationship is not working out let him go. im sure there are lots of guys out there who would want you instead of some tramp in Japan! xo
Cheating is cheating whether it is emotional, intellectual, or physical. End of discussion.
That asid, if he truly loves you and feels that you are important, he'd have fought his attraction rather than lie, create a whole account dedicating to e-mailing some girl, and indulge in his attraction for another woman.
As a guy, it isn't wrong to tell your girlfriend: "I may find her attractive but you are the one I love" but actions need to match the words and obviously your man doesn't really mean it.
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