Sunday, 12 October 2008
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It's the Economy, Not Love, That Keeps Us Together
Mr. Giraffe
In their wedding vows, couples promise to stick together for richer or poorer. Considering the volatile state of our economy, some couples who want a divorce, are being forced to abide by that vow.
In Miami-Dade County, Florida, divorces are down 13.5% after a huge spike in 2006. Apparently people are more willing to stick together if it means keeping their assets intact. How romantic!The article says that when unhappy couples decide to get a divorce, someone should move out ASAP; otherwise it could be a bad environment for all parties involved, especially children. "Because of the emotional element, the longer a divorce takes, the longer you draw out the emotional unrest. It's very unhealthy for the people to draw it out," says a Floridian divorce judge.
But what can some of these people do? They just can't afford to live separately.
In your opinion, is financial security a reason to stay with your current SO? Once this economic crisis is over, will the divorce rates will go back up?
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Comments (16)
only family law lawyers benefit from divorces. if you want to move out, there's always a way.
In the begining, marriage was about family names, money, and livestock.
Later, marriage became about keeping the blood lines clean.
A little later, marriage was back to being about money, however on a rare occasion, we fell in love.
Finally, we started marrying for love.
Or did we? Even today I have friends who are getting married because, "we're already living together, might as well make it legal and get the tax cuts."
Honestly, marriage and money will always be directly linked. Sure, some of us really get into it for love, but no one is blinde to the benefits. The divorice rate will go back up at the economy gets better, and we'll go back to getting married and divoriced for money.. It's how it works.
Note, I am not a pessimist when it comes to love and marriage, I just come off that way on the internet. ^_^
My parents divorced when I was five, and my mother didn't exactly have it easy; I'd say if people really want/need a divorce, they're going to get one, no matter what. Especially if there are kids involved; my mother didn't want us in that environment. I do however admit that the economy does play a rather large role; I've seen people stay together and say they're "working things out" simply because neither wanted to leave the financial stability of the relationship.
So yeah, I think divorce rates will go up when the economy does. I hate to look at it that pessimistically, but it's probably true.
Yes and Yes. Realizing that some extenuating circumstances (domestic violence, substance abuse, etc) should be addressed by immediate separation, it's better to be indebted to your SO while married than while divorced.
The economy is one of the main reasons my parents didn't get a divorce, since then, they've been able to work through many of their other problems and have returned to a sense of stability.
Having been on the down and outs with money before, I would stay with an SO if it meant monetary security--but I would most certainly make it clear to them that this was the only reason (if that was the case). It's not fair leading them on thinking that you're still in love with them or whatever when you're really only in it for the money.
I think staying with your SO just for financial security is a lousy way of thinking.. I may be an idealist but I really miss that whole marrying for love & staying together forever because we're so in love kind of ideals.. I guess I really believe that love conquers all. :(
As for divorce, it's always going to happen regardless of the economy.. If the couple is so set on their differences & so unhappy & refuse to work it out, they will get the divorce.. Some people can hold it & divorce when the economy's better but others can't & will get out regardless of financial security. Unfortunately, I've seen both happen. :(
it's exactly what happened during the great depression!
I plan on never becoming married, in fact I don´t even believe in marriage, but if I was and me and my SO were having serious problems and there was an economic crisis, I would still file for divorce no matter what; what´s the point in staying in an unhealty marriage only for the money if it´s only gonna make you and your children misserable in the end?
I wouldn't stay with that person if i didn't love them anymore. Sometimes, you can be in a very tight spot with money. In that case, I'd just have groundrules with that person and actually make sure that we're both on the same page as to how we feel about each other.
Maybe the horrible economy is making everyone appreciate their partners. People are trying to look to the bright side. You don't know what you got till its gone.
My parents are currently going through a divorce and still living together. Its a very weird situation. I moved out years ago so it doesn't effect me but my younger brothers are def effected. I should probably mention my mom decided to leave my dad because he is 15 years older then her and his health is failing bad right now. Like two heart attacks and just this summer he was in the hospital 3 times. She said she's still young and wants to be able to lead a life and not be stuck taking care of someone for the rest of her life. No joke. But in their situation my dad wants to be with my brothers, and really is in no condition to move seeing as he just recently got out of the hospital, and she refuses to leave because she wants full custody of my brother who's 17 so she can get money for him. Maybe some people don't leave because neither one wants the other to be able to claim abandonment. One thing is for sure though, there are lots of reasons as to why people who supposedly hate each other so much that they need a divorce still live together.
oh? so being married saves money? hmmm.. never thought of it that way
my dad is retired and has a gambling addiction - he can't support himself on his income. my mom, however, works at a law firm - she can support herself.
i know this is the only reason they are still together.
if i didn't love someone, i think i rather live with friends or on the street. i can't stand being around people i don't like.
I think it is a bad idea to stay with somebody because of money. If you are really unhappy you will find a way to make it work.
That being said, I know somebody who stayed with their girlfriend because they couldn't afford a place to live and he stayed with her longer than he wanted to because of it.
Never stay together for financial reasons- especially if it involves children. You think they dont know what is going on, then you're totally wrong. Your unhappiness and unstable emotional self are totally felt thru your kids and that's just so unfair. They see it, sense it & feel it. I have 3 boys and when my ex and I finally moved out and lived our separate lives, my boys became happier people, less torn between my ex & I and just did well over all in school, sports & various activities. Do them a huge favor...don't stay together for financial reason and don't make it so difficult on your kids!
You know, maybe it's the economy keeping people together, but not the way you think.
With money inevitably comes unrest, and anxiety... ultimately boredom. "Oh, well, we could go see a movie... again..."
Whereas, when you don't have money, you spend a lot more time *together,* instead of in the same room with a big screen. You go on walks, talk about current events, play card games. If you don't have money, you have to be creative, and entertain each other. Imagine time together bringing people closer. Go figure.
I am indeed one of those people! (Sortof.) I separated from my husband a year and a half ago, but we have yet to finalize our divorce because we cannot afford to refinance our house (to get his name off since now I'm the only one living here).
It sucks and no people should not be forced to stay together just for the bad economy!!! I so want to get on with my life.