Monday, 13 October 2008
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Holding The Door Open - Gentlemanly or Insulting?
Mr. Giraffe
I am a door-holder. I hold the door open for everyone, I'm always the last person to leave an elevator and I always keep the door open for the person behind me when I exit a building. I don't remember exactly how this started but it's a habit I just can't kick. I know my dad told me always to hold a door open for a lady. I believe in gender equality, however, so I hold it open for both women and men. It's just something I do.Imagine my surprise when a girl in high school rebuked me for holding a door open for her.
"What? You think I can't open a door myself?"
I was absolutely stunned and surprised and shocked. I told her that I was just trying to be nice and I didn't mean to insult her. She rolled her eyes and walked away. I was mad too. I hate it, hate it, hate it when people just can't accept a nice gesture for what it is. Growing up with three sisters, I am a sort-of-feminist but nothing makes me furious more than radical feminism.
Since when did it become chauvinistic to be chivalrous? Does being nice mean nothing nowadays? Do you think it's insulting to open the door for a woman or make other such gestures?
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Comments (277)
I think its gentlemanly >->...
but I think it reallie depends on the culture and all that...
personally I wouldn't be all like 'I can open a door myself',
nor would I get annoyed or think its rude if someone doesn't hold the door for me.
but I'd appreciate if they do =P
I think that's sweet and very nice, definitely not insulting, ofcourse I can open doors by myself, that has nothing to do if someone wants to be nice and make my day with this little gesture.
not at all, i think it's lovely !!
there's people who would mistake it for a romantic gesture :S but no, i equally appreciate it from men and women, and i try to do it as much as i can ...
but it's okay for me, because i'm a girl and so you won't get girls having the go at me :P sorry, guys; some silly girls out there !!!
but hey, i guess you can't please everyone, so don't worry about it, don't stop holding doors open on her account ;)
radical feminism pisses me off, because most of the time, women can't accept a nice gesture, like you mentioned. i mean, seriously, it's holding a door open for like, 5 seconds. nothing to get their panties in a bunch about.
i don't think it's insulting when a guy (or girl) holds the door open for me. i'm an independent woman by all means, but i can recognize a nice gesture. so kudos to you for being a genuinely considerate guy!
i also think part of the reason why chivalry is, more or less, dead is because of crazy women and radical feminism.
AH! This is an absolute pet peeve of mine! If a guy doesn't hold the door for me, I am first of all shocked and second of all I immediately find him unnattractive. Being a gentleman is near the very top of my "what I look for in a guy" list. If he doesn't hold the door, then he's out!
It's not like I can't hold the door myself, but I love it when a guy does hold the door. It shows that he is respectful, considerate, and sweet. Being a gentleman is a lost art these days. Thank you for being such a sweet guy! =)
Pfft, I hold the door open for people too.
I think of it as common courtesy.
I don't see why someone would get angry because of it.
Gentelmanly. However, I always hold the door open, as well, when I can. :) I'll let a guy hold the door for me though.
@fayebernoulli@xanga - spot on to that last paragraph!!
I think it's just polite, whether it's a guy or girl holding a door for a guy or a girl. Seriously, those ultra-feminists are doing themselves a great disservices by turning down a simple gesture when it is offered. Sure, you can do everything a man can do, but why would you want to? It's great to get a little help once in a while.
This happened to me once while entering a convenient store. The lady I held the door for was visibly miffed, and she said something along the lines of what you experienced. So when I walked out, she was behind me with an armload of stuff, and was sure I'd hold the door again. I didn't, I just let go as I walked out. Well, this didn't work either, as she was even more pissy about this. I kinda felt bad and good at the same time. I guess you can't please everybody.
If you like holding doors open, do it. I personally think it is polite and try to do it for anyone behind me, and I do blush when guys do it!
Simply put, women don't know what they want. Often they say chivalry is dead, guess what, they killed it themselves. Holding a door open for a lady doesn't symbolize weakness in women, but they make it so. It is just one example out of many. Over time, us (men) will do less and less of chivalry acts, and guess what, they will say chivalry is dead and there are no more gentlemen.
gentlemanly.
I hate girls like that. Ill push the door in their face for thinking that way! jk
I always nearly hold the door open, whether their are female or male especially in department stores.
Even at college I always do this and dont always barged into the toilets I always knocked incase someone is stood right behind the door.
The person may have their hands full with shopping. or trying to get a pushchair out the door.
Its really not something to get riled up against, seriously. It's just common courtesy and everyone should do it (male or female.) A polite smile or "thank you" should be reciprocated on their end.
I hold the door for everyone coming in after me or push it open a little bit after me if I'm in that much of a hurry. (especally for old people and little ones)
I really don't see why these feminists get so bitchy about it. "I am perfectly capable of opening my own door." Pffft. And what if you couldn't? You'd be pissed either way!
Plus it's a bonus if a guy opens the door for me.
@Irish_Russian@xanga - LOL. that's the way to do it. mad props for that one.
Really I think people are just ridiculous these days. Obsessed with being politically correct and always worried about insulting people. Radical feminism is ridiculous.
cats and two-year-olds can open doors, which makes it a lame test for a girl's ability and nothing to get insulted over. plus it's not like you shoved her aside to yank the door handle out of her grasp. you didn't even use the try the polite version of that attitude, "here, you want me to try?"
make that door a power tool, though, and yes: I will show my annoyance.
a chick at school got mad at me for keeping the door open for her, so i told her i wasn't trying to get in her pants, and i walked away.
I hold the door open for others, whether male or female, child or adult, and I say "thank you" when someone else, male or female, child or adult, does the same for me. It's the same when someone wishes me "Happy Channukah" or "Happy Kwanza" or "Happy Christmas". I reply, "Happy Holidays" or just plain "thank you". How thrilling to have someone include you in the happiness of their holiday or show their kindness by holding a door for you.
Awww there are still nice people left in the world (=.
I bet that girl was just in a bad mood xP. I try my best to open doors for people, too!
Nope! Keep holdin' the doors open, boys!Â
is it just me or does this question just pop up all too frequently?
opening the door for people is just courteous. people who are insecure and have a complex (i've encountered senior citizens who spaz out like this) are looking for things about which to spaz. they should just shut up and say thank you.
geez.
I get mad if people don't hold open the doors. I hold open the doors for others all the time, guys and girls. I'm shocked though when some guys wait for you holding the door opened.
lol what a bitch! she'll be sorry when her bf doesnt hold the door open for her anymore.