Mr.
LionLast weekend, I was downtown bar hopping with a few friends. On
the bathroom line in one of the bars, a guy came up to me and started
talking to me. We were waiting for the bathroom and he was obviously
drinking so I figured he wanted to make conversation.
But after a few
seconds, he started asking me if I came around here a lot and started
touching my blazer and said, "I like this, where'd you get it from?" I
gave him an answer and ignored him. I just wanted to use the bathroom,
but this guy wouldn’t stop asking me questions.
After mumbling some
lines he asked if I wanted a drink.
It took me by surprise; this had never
happened before, so I didn't know how to react. I turned to him and
said, "I'm good. I just want to use the bathroom, would you mind
leaving me alone?" He walked away.
Afterward,
my friends and I got a good laugh out of it. One of the girls said to
take it as a compliment. She said if a gay guy can appreciate how you
dress and look, then you're doing something right. I was wondering, if
I'm doing something right, why is a gay guy hitting on me?
Is it flattering if a gay person hits on you? Has this ever happened to you or someone you know?
Comments (156)
In the end, you're still getting hit on, so I suppose you are doing something right lol.
/\ what this guy said..a lot of gay dudes check me out..obviously if a gay guy thinks youre good looking..you must be good looking
I'm not straight so obviously I'm a bit biased but it's def a compliment!
Grated you not have been getting hit on by a cute girl, but just look at this way - you're desirable to members of both sexes.
It's a bit harder to tell with most girls who's gay/striaght/bi so I understand. I've known a few people this has happened to - if the person hitting on them is touchy feely, they get freaked out. But if it's a simple "hey i'm interested", they're usually flattered.I don't mind but it doesn't happen to me alot.
People do and don't take offense to many things. If you're okay with being hit on by a member of the same sex, then why does it matter whether you're doing something "right" or "wrong"?
Everyone has the need to connect at the end of the day.
i don't know u what u look like or how u dress so it's hard to say.. like most gay guys at my gym are hot like models and into high fashion.. but 2 guys i know who supposedly claim to have been hit on by gay guys are NOT hot and one is trendy the other is not.. =P
you should totally be flattered!
Yes you should be flattered. I hate it when people get all homophobic when being hit on by the opposite sex. They're not attacking you! No reason to get angry! Just tell them you're straight and be flattered that they find you attractive. If you're comfortable with you're own sexuality, you won't be offended by it.
I would say it is flattering.
Seems pretty flattering to me. No reason to worry.
I got hit on once by a lesbian, and I was totally flattered, but she got kind of aggressive and I had to leave.
It's flattering but I do understand how you can be slightly bothered by it. You should just take it as a compliment on how you're dressed. :)
Be flattered....
@hopelessromantic - I wasn't angry, I just wanted to use the bathroom cuz i really had to go lol plus I don't think walking up to a random stranger and touching them is the way to strike up a conversation even if it was just my jacket. @Princess_Jewelia@xanga - what are you trying to say? lol just kidding
It takes guts for someone to hit on another person, double if you aren't sure of the other person's sexuality. I'm straight, so I'm just guessing it has to take a lot of courage because it seems like it would. So for the guy to take the initiative to come over like that means he must have thought you were worth the effort. Totally flattering. Unless, of course, he was just rude and nasty with it.
I've been hit on by plenty girls. I mean, I guess it helps that I do hang out with lesbians a lot and don't think twice about going to lgbt parties or clubs...so I guess people just assume I must be by association. Unless the person is just outright nasty and disrespectful I usually take it as a compliment and inform them in a nice way that I'm straight.
It's flattering!... ...if you're gay.
Otherwise, you may be completely confident in the knowledge that you are successfully attracting the wrong sex. Congratulations!
Well you must be doing a really good job at dressing then, because in addition to attracting girls you're attracting guys, too. You should take it as a compliment, but also be aware of how you act towards women in a public environment. Gays don't (from my experience) approach straight guys, but if you tend to act a little "fruity" (no offense) it'll come off that you may be gay.
This is advice from personal experience! GL!
I'd personally be flattered...but that's just me.
I've had many of gay guys hit on me, and they're usually friends of my lady friends. But luckily, they understand that you're straight and won't keep hitting on you aside from telling you that you're attractive. There is this one guy that keeps trying to get more out of me than small talk. So, I avoid him for he's getting too involved in seeking whatever he wants from me. I don't like that. I have gay friends, but if you know that they're straight, why keep bothering that person?
You should be flattered, unless you're homophobic (which I suspect from your post, at least to a certain degree), in which case I'm just glad that you didn't beat the shit out of this guy.
I mean seriously...you have to ASK if you should be flattered? My guess is that you're concerned that since he hit on you, you must 'look' gay, so now you think that your 'manhood' is in question or something.
I've been hit on by a lesbian. I was flattered, but not interested. She later became a cool friend though. Don't know if it's the same for guys.
@no_more_grace@xanga - well if a lesbian approached you randomly out of nowhere, and started to touch your clothes, are you telling me it wouldn't at least shock you just a bit? Because if you can completely disregard it afterwards, then you are a better person than me and majority of other people
@SleepyHead - O.. he touched u.. ewww~ gross~~~~
call someone, text, email or surf the internet.. or just simply not making an eye contact works.. i don't know, pretend like he's invisible.. people can't really start a conversation with u when u do that..
@SleepyHead - Well, seeing as I AM a lesbian, it would be fine. But it would be equally fine if a man did that to me. And it wasn't 'randomly out of nowhere' but while bar hopping. I'll admit, if anyone 'randomly' started touching my clothes like that while I was in line at Target (male or female) I would probably think it somewhat odd. But when that happens at a bar/club...it's to be expected.
I think that your average heterosexual woman would be fine with a lesbian hitting on her though. Women don't seem to be as 'freaked out' by lesbians as men are by gay men.
So by your own admission, I'm better than you, but I doubt that I'm better than the majority of people...most people (that I personally know at least) wouldn't have your reaction.
honestly, it is flattering while at the same time strangely uncomfortable...
@SleepyHead - Haha, sorry I didn't mean to imply that you were angry. But I know some guys who get angry, and I think it's totally misplaced anger (and I theorize that they are angry because they're not really all that comfortable with/confident in their sexuality and so they get upset when someone questions their straightness).
Well, I'm a queer-identified transguy (which is to say I'm female-bodied but navigate through society as male, and also, predominately like women but am open to men... and androgynes, genderqueer-identified people, and those born intersex). And while I find it awkward when straight guys hit on me because it means they see me as female, I feel awkward when gay guys hit on me because I rarely if ever want it to go anywhere. But I'm always flattered (unless they are mean or rude or aggressive). Anyway, while my main interest is in women, most people who see me as male see me as a gay guy, because I'm really talkative and high fashion and otherwise effeminate. I'm also not afraid to tell a guy when he's well dressed, well groomed, or attractive. I always try to make it a point that I'm not hitting on him, or that I like women, so that he can actually receive my compliment. But I'm not about to give up that female privilege of being able to compliment anyone and everyone, just because I don't feel female. Society has all sorts of double standards as far as what is acceptable for men and women to say and do, which I find unacceptable and refuse to adhere to.
The fact that you were uneasy with the guy hitting on you (yes, including touching you) shows that you are uncomfortable with his sexuality. I won't go so far as to discuss the comfort with your own, but it shows that you don't quite understand where he's coming from. Some gay guys get a thrill just from flattering others (which often includes touching -- I have witnessed so much gay flattery, and almost all of them touch when complimenting. It's like you can't enjoy the outfit without touching the materials that went into it). Gay guys are not created equal. Some are only attracted to straight men, others are attracted to those who look young, others those who are furry, I mean, the possibilities for why he was hitting on you are endless. Whatever his reason, he was still hitting on you, and you should be flattered, not questioning your masculinity.