Friday, 10 October 2008
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Friday Fun: Can You Seek Out Love or Does It Find You?
One typical cliché about finding love is that it shows up when you least expect it - you can't actively seek it out.
Is this consistent with what you've found? Can you will yourself to find romance?
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Comments (44)
i think its true.
how else would you explain all of high school and three years of college looking for love and not finding it, then going on a mini-term abroad just planning on having fun and enjoying the time there and end up with a serious relationship...
A few months before I met my beau, I more or less swore off guys - I was sick and tired of being used by men. He, meanwhile, had also stayed out of the dating scene for more than a year and told God not to bring him any girl into his life unless the girl is his Miss Right.
And then... we met. The rest, as they say, is history.
I don't know for sure, but I do know that staying at home and not meeting people is a sure-fire way not to find love. Gender roles play a part too, though. Traditionally, a girl has to wait until a guy pursues her, which I think is rather annoying. So in a way, she isn't "actively" seeking a relationship.
I've had three real relationships and each one of them presented themselves when I least expected it and was not actively seeking anyone.
very true. i always told myself, "i would never date that guy!" well......that guy turned out to be my fiance, lol. God and love sucker punched me with that one, but i'm not complaining! :)
It's true. I never thought I'd date a Korean [I had a bad history with them when I was younger] & then along comes my boyfriend.. haha. I never expected it but I've never been happier. :) I think it works out better when you least expect it 'cause you have less expectations so it's a nicer surprise. :)
I think that's accurate.
I see it that love isn't something you can force in any respect, it will happen if it happens. And for the silliest reasons. I find people who broadcast singleness and complain of loneliness to be less attractive than people who seem more comfortable just living. In that regard, the people actively seeking love may have a harder time of finding it simply because there's no right way to place yourself on the single stick and stand in the middle of the road. You're gonna annoy someone.
I believe that it's entirely possible, however, for someone to be actively seeking a relationship and find it and be happy. The cliche stands true for many people/circumstances. Are we sure though, however, they the active love seekers aren't simply just doing a good job of pushing any viable options away/ blinding themselves to people who may truly love them already? Is there way to actively seek love correctly?
I've no idea. :D
@tears_like_crimson_rain@xanga - Well said
I don't think you deserve anything you may get passively.
It's kind of rude if you think about it; it's like leaving that other person to do all the work. You should at least meet them half way.
@AllMyNamesAreTaken@xanga - not necessarily. you're not making them do all the work; you're just leaving it up to fate.
i believe its true. i was in a long term relationship throughout the second half of hs and essentially all five years in college...after we broke up i thought that i'd never connect with someone like that again. after a couple dates and puddle hopping through some very short lived relationships - i started giving up. i moved in with my friend and his friend and somehow we just clicked.
it's been a year now and i've never been happier.
Well for a lot of people who are actively seeking it, the problem is, they can come off as desperate. OR they end up in bad relationships because they date someone just to be in a relationship and not because they actually want a relationship with that specific person. You have to be ok being single before you can really be in a good relationship because you should know who you are and what you want going into it. You shouldn't just get into a relationship because you're looking for one.
cliche or not there's no point in chasing love..
I'd rather let it find me. I don't like rushing into things. Go with the flow.
I think they comes in when you're not actively looking for them!?
I think what the above said is right, guys do not like rushing into things, and I sincerely agree with that with my current experience, I so wish that I didn't rush into things, and now I have to suffer the consequences.
I don't think its true. Then again, I don't think having the mentality of searching for a relationship or not has any bearing whether you get yourself into one. So I don't think it matters whether you do or not.
To quote the famous aria from Carmen:
"When you think you have a hold of it, it evades you. When you think you have evaded it, it has hold of you."
I think you can seek a relationship by going on dates, because if you take the advice to the extreme and never leave your house and expect someone to just fall through your roof and fall in love with you, it's just not going to work that way. You have to put yourself in a position where it is possible to fall in love, but you can't just throw yourself at everyone available either.
I think so many relationships fail because people seek for love. Everlasting, true Love is something that's supposed to come natually. By no means is it forced is that sort of love forced. Love hits you unexpectedly, and when it does, it takes you on its own journey.
This question reminds me of one of my favorite Daniel Johnston songs called True Love Will Find You in the End.
"This is a promise with a catch
Only if you're looking will it find you
‘Cause true love is searching too
But how can it recognize you
Unless you step out into the light?"
I couldn't agree more.
yes and yes
I only found when I stopped looking. :) And boy, did I ever get a FIND!
@fayebernoulli@xanga - I look at it as a mutual search, and if one is just sitting back and waiting, the other is doing all the searching. I don't really believe in unaided fate.
It just snuck up on me. I had pretty much resigned myself to being on my own when Liz and I started falling for each other... two years on, and there are no complaints here! :)
I think it's what a few people have said - begin by making friendships, expanding your circle of friends and then whatever happens, happens.