Wednesday, 08 October 2008
-
Can You Be Friends with Your Ex?
This is a guest question submitted by cute_sushi.
Is it possible to be friends with your ex? Or is it too risky because there might be leftover feelings involved? If you are good friends with your ex, how did you do it?
-
recommend
- recs 2
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (123)
I'm trying to navigate being friends with my ex now. i still love him so it's hard. But I figure that it's better for him to be in my life as a friend than for him to not be present in my life at all. It's just really hard.
you can be really close friends. and then you realize that its b/c they still like you. but once they get over you, you guys can be "friends". you know the type that barely talk, and the type that only says "whats up"
i guess it can work but its like what everyone says, you have to be friends BEFORE you guys dated.
bc the feeling for the person is change
ive never been friends with an ex...
too risky.
hard, but do-able!
From personal experience, it's a lot easier said then done. For me, it's difficult to think about seeing my ex, because I don't know my limits with them anymore. I'm not sure what we can and can't do together. I'd like to keep them close to me, as a friend, with not intent to get intimate, but it's very difficult to think of our relationship now of being that way. I'm not sure how friendships work after you break up, but it's fully possibly I guess.
DEPENDS
Im friends with MOST of my EXes
Some EX - you just cant be friends with them no matter how hard you try
Friends with EXes :
We're friends cause when we're dating were not too serious to begin with, and when we broke up its not big deal
We like to laugh and joke around - so everything is cool
We would tell each other about our current love life / problems
We're better off as friends anyways
Sometimes it's possible and sometimes it's not.
I used to be friends with one of my exes. It didn't work out and I don't regret it.
People just have to go on their separate ways just to be happy.
You can be friends if you are sure that's all you want.
It's possible. I'm friend with my ex-, however it took a year and half to become friends again. We ignored each other through the year and slowly got talking again after having a 2 classes together.
Kind of awkward the first we talked to each other though.
sometimes it just gets too complicated even if you guys were best friends before you started dating. but usually you have to wait until some of the wounds heal.
I'm still friends with my ex. Oddly enough I give him girl advice a lot of times. How did I do it? I'm not the jealous type nor the type to hold a grudge. Sure, we broke up over petty things, but in the end they don't really affect anything in the long run. I suppose it depends on your mindset and how in control of your emotional state you are.
Like so many situations, it totally depends on the persons and how the whole relationship ended. but yah, I think you can be friends with your ex, as well as there are cases when it's better to not be friends anymore.
My b/f of 2 years just broke up with me the other day, he said he felt we'd been drifting apart for ages and that we had nothing in common. Yet I've always been a great friend and he'd like for us to remain friends.
I especially want to remain friends with him as we have a mutual group of good friends that we regularly spend time with on a one-to-one basis (me with the wives/girlfriends or separate couples) or in a group and I dont want to stop socialising with the group for fear of him being there and vice versa.
I'm at the stage where I'm thinking about him all the time but I know this will pass .... eventually. I've started telling myself that I'm not to contact him until around the end of November/Christmas time.
Wish me luck .
my ex boyfriend is my best friend. he's the greatest guy i could ever ask for, one of the best friends i've ever had. but he's like a brother to me. dating him now would just be weird.
we still talk about when we dated. we think back and laugh, and both of us are happier with our relationship now than we were then. in fact, he's engaged now. sure, i don't agree with their engagement, but it's not because i'm jealous.
i guess it's possible.
but i just don't want to.
because it's not neccessary.
once it's over, it's over.
simple as that.
I think this is more broad than most people think. To remain friends with an ex depends on a lot more than people, on average, think about. 1. What were the terms of the break-up? 2. If they were friendly, how soon is it each of you are wanting to consider hitting the dating field again? 3. Would you each be okay with that? That's just some of the issues to consider. If it wasn't a friendly break-up, then time will tell if it's possible to be friends. Friendship takes two parties, you know? If each person waits a good while before dating again, it usually makes it easier to remain friends.
Also, you will need to define the "terms of friendship" clearly. It irriates me when people "break-up" and call themselves "just friends".. and yet, act almost no different than they did when they were dating. In my books, you're still "dating", just without commitment, you know? And that urks me. Haha. Anyways.
Define stuff that you think would be fine for you guys to do as just friends, not just in your eyes.. but in the eyes of others as well.. Because sitting right against each other and stuff like that typically doesn't show signs of just friendship to most outsiders, and that could cause you and the other person significant grief, especially if one of you starts "talking" to someone else.. You know? Yeah. So...
Being friends is possible.. The question is how close of a friend are you wanting to be, I guess? Haha. :)
<3,
~*Akarui Mistukai*~
P.S. I have remained friends with all of my ex's, I believe.. And it's just by respecting each other and treating each other as just that.. Friends. Like, if we ever need each other, we know we'll try ur best to be there for one another most times, if we're able.. But I don't typically go out of my way, or them out of their way, to hang out with and spend time with any of them. This happened by us not really talking too much after the break-up.. But keeping in random contact with each other and having a lot of the same friends. Hope any of this helps.
It's definitely possible, but I find that you need to distance yourself from the relationship first. I was very close with my ex before we dated, and am probably even closer with him now, but there was definitely a rough patch when we were starting to see new people and got a bit disgruntled with one another. I definitely feel that you both need to make the conscious decision to be friends afterwards if you want to put in the effort to make it work.
after a lot of time passes, it may be possible. Â i don't know yet cuz i haven't gone there yet. Â still on week one ... and it's just awkward... ignoring each other ... but it's for the best.
its insanely hard, and it will never be the same as it was prior to dating them.. but if your talking in terms of a long trem relationship, sometimes its weird NOT to be friends with tem, but it takes time, healing, and learning. im still trying to figure out if it truly is posible
I think it depends on how the break up went and if both of you want to remain friends. For me and my ex husband we are friends but only beause we have children. It is what is best for our children that we show them that even tough we are not married we can still get along. If we didn't have children no we would not have remained friends. We had a horrible marriage and the best thing that came out of it was my son and daughter.
I am proud to say that I remained friends with my ex-boyfriend. We've been together for almost 2 years although our relationship didn't end quite good, I really believe that time heals all wounds. Now, we look at each other as best of friends. I can still talk to him about anything and everything. I can also ask his opinions about the guys I like. He does the same things, he still asks for my advice. And we can talk about our then relationship without all the bitterness and pain we used to feel. Being friends with your ex is possible, you just have to work things out. :))