Mr.
Lion
Every so often I meet a women that seems extremely smart. The girl I'm
talking to right now seemed that way when I first met her. Everything
about her screamed smart and sophisticated. But the more I talk to her,
the more normal she becomes.
I'm not saying she's stupid or dumb, but
when I first met her and she came off as someone that knew a lot about
the world and how it works. She held up her end of conversations and
always kept me on my toes. It's probably what
attracted me to her in the first place. But lately it's been on the
downhill.
Take, for example, last night.
We were talking about the debate and the economic crisis (yeah, boring, but important stuff
)
and landed on Apple. I told her I read an article a few days ago that
said if companies like Apple cannot get short term loans to pay workers
then the economy will only get worse. She didn't understand what I was
saying. Fine, understandable, I don't get much about the stock market
anyway.
Then she didn't like Sarah Palin just because she can't speak
or make sense. That's not a reason. So I asked her what she meant by
that. She tells me Palin doesn't look like a VP candidate. I gave her
the benefit of the doubt since it was late and was probably tired. But
I've been thinking about it all morning; has she lost her smarts and
sophistication?
Is she really getting dumber or is the crush phase finally wearing off?
Did you ever get that feeling, someone you meet, sounds dumber the more you talk to them?
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Comments (73)
I think you expected her to get more and more interesting, and she's still at the same level. It just so happens that she understood the things you were two were talking about at first, but many other things she may not understand as well. I say, give her a chance, or better yet, teach her about somethings and learn new things together, that always brings people closer together.
I'm thinking she was pretty dumb in the first place and had an epiphany of intelligence whence upon you first spoke to this girl.
If she regularly says "dumb" things like that, then if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... it's a duck.
As the first commenter said, she may have different areas of expertise.. As well, if it was late, I know my intelligence shuts off completely at about eleven.. Occasionally if I'm IMing late at night, I'll get up the next morning and read some of the things I said over again and go, "WTF?!? I said THAT! Oh god, they must think I'm a moron."
I would say to give her a chance. Teach her, befriend her. I don't think she's getting dumber, she's just losing some of that sparkle we tend to give crushes we don't know, and probably starting to delve into conversations she just doesn't know too much about.
In my experience all the person I met looked very smart and "oh so great" in the first row. Then, as you said, become "normal", which is not bad, just not great. I think I overconsidered them, thinking that "maybe" they wanted to impress me and I was caught in the trap.
have you ever heard sarah palin talk, she sounds retarded, and do you want someone who knows nothing about politics and cant even answer question potentially in charge of our country. The only reason McCain picked her is because he can get the "women's votes" yeah and then we all think shes stupid. You should not judge her based on what she knows about the economy and the election. I myself could care less at this point in time, those are two subjects not many people like, so give her some more time, dont just get rid of her like that. If you're looking for someone perfect, you're better off alone.
If it was only one night...I don't see the big deal on it. We all have our off moments, but if it keeps repeating....then yeah...
She's not getting dumber...she's just getting worse at hiding it.
You should talk about something fun.Â
I LOVE the intellectual side of conversations and I love meeting intelligent people that I can speak about interesting and pertinent topics. However, you have to realize that having a carefree, silly topic to talk about is a good way to mediate the heavy stuff.
I'm sure she and you talk about other things... but consider--she may be getting BORED rather than dumb.
The crush is probably wearing off and so she seems less perfect.
But thinking someone is not a good VP candidate because she can't speak or make sense is a perfectly legitimate reason in my opinion...
Bah, I guess people are picky in varying ways.
Wait - so first you call her dumb, then you say she's not dumb just becoming normal...and then all of a sudden you've decided that her normality is stupidity again?
Sounds like you're the idiot. Especially since you're choosing to judge her intelligence (or lack there of) based on one bad conversation. In my experience, people don't suddenly lose all their intelligence. Part of being human is having off days.
Perhaps your standards just kept growing while she is staying the same. I mean, there are some people out there who won't vote for Obama just because he's black. For her to say that Palin doesn't look like a VP, well, it would be a little shallow, but maybe she has a point (I'm an Obama fan). The saying that I've following is, "Having too high expectations is dangerous. In the end, if you have too many, no one will ever meet them."
I usually get disappointed by people's intelligence. But, I tend to expect people to have at least similar amounts of knowledge as I do about even the most arcane of subjects and I do know more than most people do about most subjects.
I would give her the benefit of a doubt. we all have our off days, and also you have to realize that we all can't talk about EVERYTHING b/c we all don't know everything, and it sounds like you guys talked about a lot of other things. You can't expect the poor thing to be super smart about every topic. On top of that it was late, and this was a one time thing it sounds like. So give her a chance...and remember, part of being with someone if you do end up with this girl, is being able to grow and learn together.
Maybe your expectations were really high for her in the first place...and then when she didn't meet your expectations of a "smart" and "sophisticated" girl, the crush phase started wearing off.
Or maybe she just has certain opinions and you're starting to get to realize them now.
Um, basically you figured out that she's a real person. Just like you are. I am certain that there are subjects about which you are not well versed, and it seems unfair that you expect her to be able to back up every single little belief that she has with adequate, logical answers when you yourself could probably not do that. No offense man but you seem to be suffering under the delusion that everyone around you should meet these unrealistic expectations like you're God's gift to women. Sorry, but that's not how it works. All relationships ebb and flow but in the end we all just figure out that we're all pretty much inanely boring, and that any belief otherwise is just made up from a well crafted facade. Face it, she's boring, you're boring, I'm boring, just do your best to find the least boring person out there to you, and know that while your conversations may not always be the most intellectually stimulating that you can still share enough commonalities and love each other enough that it doesn't matter when your talks hit a dry patch. Sheesh.
I think you are kind of right,my "best" friends get "dumber" because I already know too much about them,there is usually nothing new to talk about. When I meet new people,its always more exciting because..well they are new and interesting
She was tired and didn't feel like explaining it. Sometimes you watch tv to watch tv, not to analyze it.
Perhaps you have too high of an expectation for her.
Perhaps she's only knowledgeable on certain topics. That happens.
If the crush stage is that short for you to think that of her, then move on. It happens. Sometimes the infatuation stage isn't as long & you soon see the person's flaws & find you can't stand him/her. The average infatuation/in love period lasts 2 years. After that, it's a choice if you want to be with the person or not.
Intelligence is attractive but not everyone can sound or be smart in every single area.
I'm not into political stuff much either so sometimes I would just make up answers or something while the other person babbles on about the good, the bad and the ugly and this person and that. Actually, this goes for any topic I am not interested in, but that doesn't mean I'm not smart. LOL
I can relate to that because I've always been attracted to smart guys.
Last year I had a giant crush on this guy who seemed like a real intellectual. He worked for the Obama campaign, cared alot about politics, and was really well read. (and rather cute, of course)
But then as I got to know him better, I realized that he wasn't actually smart...only well read. He was articulate because he was well-educated, but he didn't really have a mind of his own...he just absorbed whatever he read and recited it back out without analyzing or interpreting it...I knew this because he loved all the cliched "intellectual" books without knowing that most of them were badly written.
Anyway, my point is, there are people who seem knowledgeable but don't really have a mind of their own. They can fool you at first.
On the other hand, I've met another guy who is genuinely smart...because he was well read and had a mind of his own. He didn't read mindlessly, but critically. It was refreshing because he had his own, original opinion on things. I never got tired of hearing what he had to say. That's true intelligence, and I hope you find it. =)
Sometimes yes; that thrill of getting to know someone for the first time is amazing, and that spark of attraction makes nearly everything about them seem "WOW!" But as you calm down...yeah, it can fade. But I consider myself lucky; the guy I'm currently crushing on happens to be my best friend (who's fully aware of my feelings and a total sweetheart about it), and he seems to get more incredible the more I talk to him.
Maybe she was losing interest in the subject matter and was just trying to generalize and appear uninterested so you'd get the hint and change the subject?I do that. If I'm just not feeling the subject anymore I'll act uninterested and disregard the topic. But who knows. *shrugs*
@definately_different@xanga - You are my new favorite person in the world. If you weren't a girl too, I'd ask you to marry me and have lots of babies.
I don't think she's dumb. It just sounds like you put her on a pedestal initially and the effect is starting to wear off.Â