Monday, 06 October 2008
-
She's In Love with Her Professor
Mr. Giraffe
My friend and I decided to have a sushi outing and she brought along her friend Carrie. I wondered who'd be the third wheel, but this party of three turned out to be pretty entertaining. Carrie, it seems, has a crush on one of her professors. She told me that there is some physical attraction, but mainly she finds him really, really enchanting.
He's her anthropology professor and he bewitches, bothers and bewilders her. He dresses well, speaks eloquently, makes jokes and is just incredible.I began to wonder why Carrie had these feelings. Judging from all the experience he's had, Carrie's professor can't be too young. He must be in his late thirties. They're at least sixteen years apart. According to Carrie, he's not even super attractive. So why is so drawn to him?
Though I was too scared to tell her (it would be inappropriate; I barely know her), I thought it had something to do with his role as her professor. Are authority and brains a lethally attractive combination? Have you ever been in Carrie's shoes?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (36)
I don't know about authority, but sometimes I find brains will make me crush harder on a woman I wouldn't otherwise crush on than I would a physically attractive woman. And I have a huge crush on one of my TA's (though that's come to be a bit of a cliche, hasn't it?) So I can understand her point of view.
Most of the girls at my college had "intellectual crushes" on one of its professors. I think it was because of his British/South African accent, his philosophizing lectures and his gentlemanliness. He's not terribly attractive, but I think females are drawn to him nonetheless.
The attraction to older men is simple. They are accomplished. They are mature and responsible. This man is also undoubtedly intelligent, and these features of him make him, without even appealing TO her on his own, infinitely charming.
It's a match made in HELL, but I see why she feels like that.
I never saw the other side and why would someone have a crush on their much older teacher. Although I do have to say, I found one of my TAs pretty attractive. But does that really count? The guy was six years old than me MAX, 3-4 years older seems more accurate, and majority of TAs are students also. Some are undergrads and some grads, atleast at my school.
haha yeah, i never understood the crush on a professor (maybe because most of mine in college were like old women or old men?)...although i had a crush on my TA for accounting. he was a few years older than i was, smart, and HAWT.
looking back, though, i only "liked" him when i was in class staring at him. once i got out of class, i totally forgot who he was.
I had an intellectual crush on a professor without even realizing it. There was no physical attraction on either end... but that man was just so smart that you couldn't help but look up to him and be amazed and in awe. I ended up taking five classes with him, and basically completing my History minor with his courses.
I can see why she's attracted. It's something different. An accomplished man who has his head on right. I'm sure she's tired of the same college boys, b/c some of them are still on a high school level. I had a minute crush on one of my professors. Idk, it's kinda like motivation that something better is out there despite how it seems. Nothing serious. =)
Hm. I can see it. I myself haven't ever been sufficiently enticed by a professor's intellectual positions to become enamoured, but I can definitely picture it happening to me.
I had a really pathetic infatuation with a Marriage and Family professor my junior year of college. He was an established twenty-something with a PHd, a mass of published articles, a passion for marriage and family issues, and a great ponytail. Not to mention great communication skills and impeccable humor.
He was so easy to fall quietly lustful for. No action was taken though (he was of course, newly married). But if I had the chance...
well he wouldn't be a third wheel if you two were just out for lunch. i think its the maturity that attracts her.
I am definitely guilty of having had professor crushes before. My history prof in undergrad was fantastic - cute, but not incredibly attractive until he started to talk, but was so fascinating and intelligent that I was head over heels. I wasn't the only student who felt that way about him too. He was brilliant, and very much an activist, and capable of practically moving a class to tears (in a good way, not a bored way) with historical events. I had a serious recreational crush on him for a while.
Oh are you kidding me? I was infatuated with my high school band teacher. I wasn't even in his class, and we only worked together on music department projects. Everyone thought he was unattractive... even me. But I found myself hanging on every moment he'd say hello to me or talk business.
Just the other day I was at a concert, and saw some guy from behind that I really wanted to get a look at-- and it was the same band director from high school...
Despite all the Freudian theories that I could espouse, I think intelligence is just really attractive. And college boys can be so immature that a professor who is older will seem like the pillar of maturity in comparison.
I was totally in love with one of my professors, but so were all the girls (and even some of the straight guys). He was just that awesome. Everything he said was inherently wise. If you passed him on the streets you might think "he's attractive for an older man" but you wouldn't think "damn, he's so hot!" But in class, the more he spoke, the more attractive he became because he was so intelligent and intelligence is a turn on.
Women are attracted to money. And Power. and the professor has both those things.
I haven't been in Carrie's shoes, but I think that his brilliance and worldliness may have a bigger influence on her than his authority.
She probably admires him, but doesn't know how to admire someone of the opposite gender without getting those OTHER hormones involved. I've seen this happen before amongst some of my other friends... in the end it comes down to the fact that the other person is admirable in their intelligence and insight, and (not necessarily) their looks.
sounds like someone who would make a great husband/father.. someone my parents would love.. well, maybe not the 16 year apart but you get the point..
I personally haven't been in her situation but my sister's best friend was in love with my math teacher in High School. I was traumatized throughout High School because of this. Hearing what she would "do" to him wasn't something I wanted to think about while I was trying to take notes. She literally stalked him. There wasn’t a day she wasn’t there when I went to ask him questions in study hall. The sad thing is she still talks about him to this day. When he got married my Senior year I gladly rubbed it in her face. Her obsession was wrong and I was sick of hearing about her dirty dreams about him.
I know a lot of girls who like guys just because they can't have them. It's like a fantasy for them, maybe this is just Carrie's fantasy. Some girls are attracted to guys with brains.
yeah I think so. Thats why girls always have something nice to say about professors. Whether they are hot or not, the looks always grow on you when their is brains, authority, and a good personality to go along with it. But I wonder how professors deal with the issue of crazy young college girls going after them,especially if they are married.
Hrm. Not a college professor, but a high school teacher, for me. Still very much in love with the guy, sadly. I can say that it wasn't an authority thing because the man had very little authority in or out of the classroom. For me, it seemed to be because I ended up closer to him than other students and got to know him better and everyone always said that I "saw a different side of him" than most. *shrugs*
... Unlike hugs_and_kisses_lexi's friend, however, I didn't (and still don't really) want to "do" things to him. Nor would I ever subject a friend to any fantasies like that if they were to come up. That's just... Keep it to yourself. Even if it weren't a teacher, I wouldn't want to hear about it.People always say it's an "authority" thing, or an "intelligence" thing, or a "you want what you can't have thing." I'm not sure which I'd file it under. I don't really like the idea of trying to explain why someone feels as he/she does -- you can never know what's going on inside a person's head. (And maybe he/she isn't so sure him-/herself.)
I don't think it's the whole authority thing. And looks doesn't have to be everything though it would be nice. haha. I'm sure she's attracted to his intelligence and such. And after being around a person for a certain period of time, you begin to get attracted to them. It's possible.
:)
An intellectual man is always a turn-on in my book! No matter what his physical appearance, if he can dazzle me with his words and has a sharp sense of humor, it's only a matter of time before I'm crushing hard! I've had teachers in high school like that, so I can understand the attraction...
No and no.
I'm actually not attracted to authority in the least bit. The idea of being attracted to a guy who has any sort of power over me other than in the bedroom is just, ugh.
If I can't like an RA who's only 2 years older than me, then there's just no way in hell I can like a teacher or professor who might have anywhere from 6-30 years on me.I couldn't even bring myself to like one of the cute male RA's in my dorm freshman year even though we flirted a few times.
Maybe I'm just weird... lol.
@haloed@xanga - In one of my sophomore lit classes, every girl was crushing on our prof...he was smart, charming, funny, etc haha but we knew better (plus he was married)...so we asked if he had any kids (has a son hehe) so we facebooked him and tried to add him, but he wouldn't add us lol
as an undergrad, i was soooo into one of my philosophy professors. i dont think it had anything to do with authority though, more that he was fairly young, attractive, dressed well, had a sexy european accent, and was super intelligent. i think the interest between us was mutual on a mental level...he remembered me for three years after i took 1 class with him, and actually asked me to be a philosophy student. too bad he was happily married and philosophers don't get jobs : (
It's the knowledge the professor knows while Carrie doesn't.
The superiority wins it.