Saturday, 04 October 2008
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Dear Dr. Datingish: She Liked Me for A While, But...
Dr. Datingish
There was this girl that I met a month ago. I decided to make friends with her, and yeah, I kinda like her.
We were cool for about a whole month, and all of a sudden she just stopped talking to me and doesn't act the way she used to act around me. What could that mean? I didn't do anything. She just started doing this out of nowhere.
It's been 2 weeks now since she's been like this. Any advice?
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Comments (47)
What do you mean by acting differently? Anyway, she could be having issues of her own that don't pertain to you. Who knows? Maybe you read the signals wrong when you said "cool". There are many things. You've only known her for a month, so I'd advise to give her some time. Don't assume things. If you really do want to be a friend though, give her sometime, and if she's comfortable enough, ask her what's wrong. Simple as that. You might not get the answers you want, but you don't have to turn it into a big issue.
It's not enough information to say much. But when girls are tired or mad at someone, they like to act cold until that person realises what they've done and apologize for it.
Talk to her about it.
WELLLL It can mean several things. One being that she found out you possibly liked her and...got freaked out? Not sure. Good luck. ><''
You really didn't give enough info on this girl in order for us lovely Datingish readers to draw a conclusion. So I came up with a few **POSSIBLE** ones :)
I'm thinking that she probably now knows that you like her and is super-freaked out.
She maybe likes you too. Girls do one of three things when they like guys:
1)We isolate ourselves if we're the shy type.
(example: Boy: "Hey you've been acting really wierd, what's up?"
Girl: *stutters* "Haaa nothing." :)
2)We flirt like there's no effing tomorrow---in any way we please may I add :)
(Wether it may be regular flirting, subtle flirting, teasing, clobbering you in teh back of your head---that kind of teasing as well)
3)We act like nothing happened, be your friend anyway, but you'll notice us acting a little more nervous than usual ;)
If I were you, I wouldn't take any action on the three mentioned above and just ask,"What's wrong?" It might not be you after all....or maybe it is. And if it is, you better try to fix it.
omg. im totally going through the same situation right now. except ive known the guy for about 9 months, and we've been really close friends for about 7 months.
there are two ways to explain this:
1) i guess that you should just wait it out, and see what happens. i wouldnt go and start a fight or be really mean about it. just wait it out. im sure you have nothing to do with it. shes just going through something and doesnt want you to either be wrapped up in it or worry about it.
2) shes prolly being like that b/c you unintentionally did or said something that hurt her. it could have been the littlest thing, but girls notice those little things, and tend to overanalyze them (i should know, im one of those girls lol). so just sit back, or when the time is right, ask her whats up and if you did anything. and if you did. apologize a million times (but only if you were in the wrong) and ask what you can do to make it up to her. *wink, wink* the cuter the better lol.
g'luck!
i kinda have to agree with fried_ryce@xanga
then again, it COULD be something else. but either one, simply ask her what's wrong. :)
Not trying to bring you down or anything but everytime this happens to me it means that she's moved onto someone else...
Without knowing how her behavior changed, the only way to really find out what's going on is to ask her.
"Hey, are you all right? I've noticed you've been acting sort of distant lately...is everything okay?" Something along those lines.
Her change in behavior could mean any number of things. We can give you all sorts of theories, but the only way to know is to ask her and hope she'll be honest with you.
ask ask and ask. its the best way to find out what's wrong. She might need your help, but if you don't ask she might never get it.
guys usually never ask and wait out....which is NOT what a girl wants.
maybe that's the thing, you didn't do anything.
Sometimes, I'll do that. It's for one of two reasons:
1) I realize something about the guy that I hadn't realized before and it completely makes me 'get over' any feelings I might have had for the guy.
or
2) The guy actually shows interest in me which freaks me out. Girls really are shy, especially me, so I freak out and play dumb. Like "oh, um, me giving you a full body massage was not flirting at all! You said you were sore so I just happen to be a professional masseuse" lol...
man i went through the same problem man, just as you described, but i too was in the dark
if your girl is anything like the one I liked, then she is probably under some personal stress and might not be comfortable letting you know about it, since you've only known for a relatively short amount of time. And if, she's exactly like the girl i liked, then she has trouble figuring out her feelings because she is really insecure at this point and hides her feelings in a little box called "feelings" where even she can't open them. if this is the case, i would advise you to move on despite your feelings.
also mocha sprinkle might be correct as well
hope this helps dude
Sometimes, sad to say, girls just lose interest. It's happened to me before. And really there was nothing I could do. If she loses interest that's pretty much the end of it. And trying to convince the girl to do anything otherwise is pretty futile, too.
You didn't do anything? You sure? You probably did and don't know it.
The only explaination for sudden change in attitude towards you could mean many thing. Maybe she caught onto the fact you like her, maybe you have been acting differently (as in showing behavior of attraction towards her) and she wasn't ready to accept it, maybe she is not interested in you, maybe she is fickle and crazy, who knows. I know it's probably rough but you could do only two things, wait it out or call her out on it; either way it's pretty tough.
maybe she was waiting around for you to make a move...she could have been turned off that you didnt try to take it to the next level soon enough.... but then again I dont know the whole story.
but she could just like you and is a bit dissapointed
ask and see if she tells you or not.
It's probably cos she has found another guy in her life, or the vibes you are sending towards her are ones she's not ready to take into consideration. Or perhaps you're sending the wrong vibes too soon! Or like the others said, perhaps she's going through a rough time and not really keen on talking about it. OR, there could be another reason.
At the moment, I think it's best to maintain a platonic friendship with her. If she sees your relationship with her as 'friends (for now)' then perhaps she might open up to you. If you guys are good friends already then you should probably be upfront and honest by asking her "I've noticed your attitude towards me has changed. Is there a reason why?". There's nothing wrong with knowing the truth, despite how hard it may hit you. But would you rather suffer in silence, possibly assume the worse and not know at all?
It's probably best to talk to her about it. Play it safe for now if you like her. Good Luck !
I'm thinking, maybe she found out you're actually in love with her? As that is exactly what I did to a guy when I found out he like me, and I dont.
The guy was my friend and my gamer pal, we always play games together. One day, I forgot how [he didnt tell me directly of course] but I found out he actually liked me! I was shocked and didnt know how to reject him so I turned silent mode and never chat with him ever since.
don't worry about it, it's not you, it's her. she thinks you like her, but she doesn't like you, so she's being distant.
It's somewhat easy to sense that somebody is attracted to you. Since she's being distant... she's probably not interested. But you didn't do anything? No special treatment? Maybe she's just weird.
Could it be that she lost interest in you? Or maybe her boyfriend found out about you? If she's stopped talking with you for two weeks, it's probably something negative, so maybe you should just leave it alone.
You don't provide enough information.
This means two things, one: you don't know anything real about her and two: your lack of information could mean you are hiding something that you do know but is too embarrassed to ashamed to say.
In the end, if even a small part of any of those two things above are true--Leave her alone.
If you don't you are definitely going to go crazy wondering why.
Okay.. I have one possible explanation for you because this is how I am. I am the type of girl that likes "the chase" and once I get the guy all the fun is gone and I just get bored and let me tell you that habit is HARD to break. This could be one good possible reason. She needs you to make it interesting but by doing that doing suffocate her and be too clingy. Alot of girls hate clingy so step back a little and give her, the space she wants. Another reason is that she could be mad at about something and if that is the case just give her time because eventually she will come around.
Yeah... you don't say enough for me to be able to give you advice. Sorry. I mean your title says "she liked me for a while.." but you don't go into detail in your story. Maybe then I can help.
:)