Miss Penguin I watch a fair amount of TV (though I work in the industry so I tell
myself it's excusable... It's research!). I'm very excited that new
seasons are starting right now, and I find actually that TV can be very
helpful to me romantically at times. Or, at the very least, cathartic.
Last
year around this time, I was in a long distance relationship with a guy
in the military and we were just finding out that even though he was
supposed to be getting out of the army, he was being stop-lossed and
was going to be sent to Iraq in the future. I (of course) was freaking
out. Not only was our relationship complicated because of the distance
but it was now even more complicated because he had very little control
over his own life. Plus his life kind of fell apart at that point.
Anyway,
so my two cathartic TV shows at that time were Ugly Betty and Pushing
Daisies.
In Ugly Betty, Betty was in love with Henry but he had to move
to Arizona to help raise his child with his pregnant ex-girlfriend. I
went through a lot of "should we even bother trying since this is
clearly a doomed relationship? Am I ready to go down this road and be a
soldier's girlfriend (who opposes the war, btw) and risk all the
heartache that comes with it?" and Ugly Betty's conclusion was that
yes, we should try because if you don't put yourself in situations that
allow you to get hurt, you won't really experience love.
Granted, it
clearly didn't work out for the best for me since I'm single as I'm
writing this, but that's ok. I'm still glad I gave it a shot or I
probably would've always been wondering "what if?"
The
fairy tale-esque Pushing Daisies was cathartic for me because it's
about two people who are in love but can't touch (if they touch, Chuck
- the girl - will die. And if you don't know why, then you need to
watch the show. It's SO good). Being in a long distance relationship is
really hard for me because I'm a very physical, cuddly, touchy-feely
person. So is Chuck (the girl) in Pushing Daisies. I found comfort in
that and sometimes, when they would wrap their arms around themselves
and give themself a hug and pretend the other person was hugging them,
I would do the same (yeah, I'm a loser. Whatever. I've grown to accept
this).
And
now, regardless of my relationship situation, one of the best
relationship shows on TV today is How I Met Your Mother. Because it's a comedy,
everything seems outrageous, but I think it's one of the most true to
real life dating guides you can find on television. You have Barney,
the merciless player who really shouldn't be as successful as he is.
Lily and Marshall, the married couple who have pretty much only dated
each other in their lifetime. And Ted and Robin, the on again-off
again couple. Between the five of them, I feel like they have addressed
so many of the dating issues I've come across in my relatively short
experience. Plus the show is just freaking hilarious.
What shows do you take romantic advice from? Or what shows remind you of your own relationships?
And now, regardless of my relationship situation, one of the best relationship shows on TV today is How I Met Your Mother. Because it's a comedy, everything seems outrageous, but I think it's one of the most true to real life dating guides you can find on television. You have Barney, the merciless player who really shouldn't be as successful as he is. Lily and Marshall, the married couple who have pretty much only dated each other in their lifetime. And Ted and Robin, the on again-off again couple. Between the five of them, I feel like they have addressed so many of the dating issues I've come across in my relatively short experience. Plus the show is just freaking hilarious.
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Comments (21)
I am unapologetically opposed to your industry. Some people live their lives and then relate to the characters whose lives flash across that piece of furniture that they obsess over. Most, however, mistake television for real life, and think the sort of relationships that occur on television is some kind of instruction manual. Real life doesn't work the way it does on television, and considering it is the same industry that give us the form of biased and uninformative entertainment we call "news" and other lies such as advertising, I'd prefer to look elsewhere for my relationship advice.
Granted, I think my lack of TV sympathy makes dating difficult for me, because SO MANY PEOPLE'S LIVES revolve around that stupid box that it's the only thing they can relate about.
I missed Pushing Daisies!!!! NOOOO!!!
How could I be so dumb? I love How I Met Your Mother, and One Tree Hill(Haley and Nathan's relationship inspires me, They've gone through so much, and are still together.)
I've been trying to watch less[tv] and live more, I guess that's why I missed it. I tend to record the shows I want to watch, so I can watch them without commercials(which cuts the time down significantly, so I can do things I want).
I usually watch One Tree Hill as a DON'T BE THAT DRAMATIC guide.
TV is RARELY successful at mimicking my romance life. Unless you're watching the really risque sitcoms, and even then, only when the lights dim. *ahem*
Besides, I don't really watch TV.
(And just for the record, La Fea Más Bella is the WAY better, ORIGINAL version of Ugly Betty... /rant)
I'm not sure I've found a TV show that exemplifies my relationships, but one quote from One Tree Hill certainly resonates with part of my worldview: "Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep people away, but to see who cares enough to tear those walls down."
I love these shows!
I can't say that any of them personify my dating life though.I've stopped watching TV a while ago but I did watch the Ugly Betty when it was originally a Spanish soap opera (it amazes me how many people don't know this). I don't really compare it but once in a while I think, aww that's sweet, I want someone to do that for me.
I didn't really compare TV to any of my relationships except in that "Aw, I wish that could happen for me!!" kind of way.
My favorite TV relationship was always Seth and Summer on The OC. They were just meant to be together and made it work in spite of EVERTHING. I didn't take advice from them and they didn't remind me of any of my relationships, but I just always hoped I would find someone that completed me like they did for each other.
I like TV shows bc it gives you different options to see and consider. Hardly consider any of it gospel, but you know what I mean.
Love "Pushing Daisies" -- Did you watch last night?! Poor Olive! What insanity with the Parisian romance!
(I must comment that most of us who are/have been military-affiliated are anti-war. I don't know many wives/gfs/etc who are thrilled by the choice and would be less than thrilled to think that other people think they are pro-war bc they love someone in the military, but I'm glad you took the chance. It's a very unique world)
@FireMapleSong@xanga - You're unapologetically opposed to my industry? Where to even begin to respond to that... First of all, yes. Some people watch way too much TV and let it affect their lives on far too high a level. Yes, television news is often biased. But so is every form of news, and if you disagree then you are even more ignorant than I think you are. Even our history books are biased. History is written by the victors, as they say and anything that's written has a writer that has his or her own opinions. And to some extent, at least news is more accessible now to your Average Joe. Biased news is probably better than no news. Yes, there are lots of problems with television and the way ratings work. Good shows get taken off the air because the Neilsen ratings system is messed up. It is a business, so it will never be a perfect utopian art form (but all art is a business too. No other medium is any different. That's why they're "entertainment industries," "art industries," etc).
But television reaches more people around the world than almost
any other form of art/entertainment. It has the ability to make huge
impacts on people's lives in positive ways when used for good for the simple fact that it will reach more people. To completely dismiss an entire medium just because there are some shitty shows and some people who watch too much TV is ridiculous. There are hundreds of stations just in the US and thousands around the world. High quality, important social content is created for television every day. There are some really great television shows. TV has such a bad reputation because there is so much shitty programming out there and pretentious snobs like you love to rant about how you're "above" watching TV. But right now television is one thing that is saving important social art forms like independent film (independent film companies are dying all over the place but stations like HBO, IFC, AMC, Showtime, FX, etc, continue to be a platform for quality independent film and to get these small, important films a much wider audience than they might ever see otherwise). Or maybe you're also opposed to films? Then I'm even more sad for you. And musuc? People have become so dependent on mp3 players and whatnot now after all. That must mean music is inherently evil.
Maybe it is not your lack of TV sympathy that is making dating difficult but rather your lack of open-mindedness and your snobbery.
I love How I Met Your Mother because it's hila...wait for it...rious! I don't think I follow the advice. I follow my heart and learn from past experience.
I love How I Met Your Mother. I watch it every week with my boyfriend religiously. I also absolutely love Barney!
I don't really find myself relating to TV shows very often. I think it causes people to conjure up unrealistic expectations about what a relationship really is. Plus, TV shows tend to emphasize lust over love - and that's depressing.
But I have to say, my favorite TV couple is Rory and Jess from Gilmore Girls. I don't mirror my life after them, I just get excited over their antic romance.
so good.
@weezerfan16@xanga - Actually, I disagree. TV/Film in general I think tells us that love is everything and we won't be happy without it (and also we will be 100% happy with it even if we have no job, no friends, no money, no legs, no nothing else except for our one true love). There's definitely plenty of lust. But lust is your body leading you to another person that you could potentially love in the future. People try to say that physical attraction doesn't matter but that's just not true.
And I loved Gilmore Girls but I was much more a Rory/Dean fan because Jess was a fucking asshole and I feel like her going with him legitimizes the concept that girls always go for asshole guys.
@hopelessromantic - Like I said, unapologetic and disinterested in making other people feel warm and cozy inside. I'm not quite sure the point you're trying to make about music and mp3s (the music industry did perfectly fine before television, and I didn't say I was against music). I could argue the value of independent films, but I concede your point - television has done good things for many market sectors that are valuable to our society.
The point I was bluntly trying to make was thus - everything on television is entertainment. Would I trust a juggler to give me an accurate impression of the world just because he's a juggler? Of course not. Neither, then in that respect, do I trust the writers of television shows to give me any insight into life beyond telling a cute story.
The American idea of "love" has been so frazzled by hollywood that people believe in strange romantic concepts that have no actual basis in reality because they were raised amidst constant bombardment of these mythic themes. And that's why I am opposed to the industry. In my opinion, that negative psychological damage outweighs the positive potential.
@willow_ann209@xanga - One tree hill really sucks this season, and the show is just really badly written and created in general. I don't think any of the relationships on there should be an inspiration for anyone, as they're so unrealistic, so one-sided, and so naive on so many levels.
@FireMapleSong@xanga - What's wrong with entertainment? Entertainment is a valuable part of our daily lives to escape from the depressing drudgery of the real world. And there are plenty of shows that have a basis in reality - if people don't relate to the characters on some level, the shows are unlikely to be successful. Of course you shouldn't base reality (or relationships) on television, but television can be cathartic and sometimes even give you some decent advice.
I can't say that I have watched any of the above sitcoms, however, I do watch "Grey's Anatomy" and "Army Wives" on a regular basis. I find my best friend and I have a similar relationship to Meredith and Christina on "Grey's". We watch the show together and absolutely just bust a gut at the two on the screen, knowing that we would totally do the same thing to each other. As for "Army Wives", I started watching it last summer when it first came out. I had limited cable channels, and it was the only thing on. Well, I got hooked to it. Now that it is back this season, I also have a boyfriend now that is in the military, so I have that to relate to the show with now.
I know you can't watch a television show and base your life on it, but I can't help it. My favorite show is One Tree Hill, and I mostly watch it because of Haley and Nathan's relationship.
I love the fact that they grow every episode, and sometimes I see my boyfriend and myself in Haley and Nathan.
This is not an answer to the posed question, but I LOVE Pushing Daisies! It's so different from everything else that's on nowadays. Two people..madly in love with each other..and no sex is involved. Not even kissing.
For TVland, that's almost unheard of. So cute and romantic.
SCRUBS! has awesome life lessons, some for relationships too! my favorite show.
oh my goodness, HIMYM is so freakin' funny.
if there's one show i watch, but would never take advice from it'd be Gossip Girl.
I love watching scrubs too, but the relationship in that one has never been resolved? lol.