Mr. Lion
Meeting new people is a great feeling. It's even better when a
relationship can come out of it. But how that relationship matures is
key.
I like to get to know a person right away and then maintain the
relationship. Others like to take it slow and let it build up into
something more serious. I think by getting to know someone right away,
there's a mutual understanding of where we stand and what we want.
Building up is great but it might take too much time in between to know
a person, and often times a possible relationship might just die. I’ve
heard women say, "I'm not sure if this guy likes me", or "I'm not sure
where I stand in the relationship". I try to avoid that.
The sooner we
get to know each other, the sooner she knows where I stand, so that's less
confusion in the relationship.
Sometimes it may throw off the other
person, because she might want to take it slow, but by figuring each other out
earlier, we can compromise. You understand what she wants; she
understands what you want, and we both meet in the middle.
Do you like your relationship to start right away or slowly build up? How does it end up working out for you?
Comments (35)
I prefer to get to know people kind of slow.. I don't like how getting to know someone turns into Q&A, I find that horrendously rude.. I've had guys try to get to know me in as little time as possible so they might get laid faster, and it just pisses me off.. I much prefer we actually get to know each other as people and have some sort of friendship before I would consider jumping into a relationship. If he can't put a little time into getting to know me, he obviously isn't in it for any good reason, anyway.
I prefer the "slowly built up" thing. Rushing into the relationship looks like someone's pushing and forcing himself into it.
Even if it takes time I prefer like that. What if you immediately get together with a person and, some little time later you find horrible aspects of her?
I ease into EVERYTHING, including friendships. Why would I want to treat my relationships any different? If I move to fast into something, I scare myself.
Most of my life I've been a "jumper", meaning in jumped right into relationships wholeheartedly. Generally the other person was the same way and we were seemingly soul mates. What I've learned from that is, although we may seem to be soulmates, that can quickly wear off.
I ease into them a bit more slowly now, as I've had some bad experiences because I jumped into what turned into an unhealthy, sometimes abusive situation.
I've also learned that I'm attracted to a certain type of man, who is generally NOT the kind of man I want or need.
Honestly I get right in, not the "lets have sex on the first night" but if we confess that we like each other, we decide if we want to make something of it within that day or a few days.
I don't like not knowing if someone likes me or not knowing if we're in a relationship. If I don't know and I think we are and he dates another girl, it's the end.
So I like to be clear.
I'm a fast-paced girl myself. I honestly can't stand it when guys are to slow but don't give me the prior warning that they want to take it slow. I also hate it when I am going slow, just like the guy said he prefers and suddenly he is in a relationship with a new girl. Of course, at that point, he will usually claim I was the slow one.
I don't see the value in taking things to slow. It's hard to tell where you stand. I would not just jump into a relationship, I prefer to give it enough time to know someone, but I like to know them fairly quickly.
I usually speed into relationships because of my past. The thought of having someone in my life excited me and I needed someone to want to be mine in order for me to accept the person I was.
But now, I am easing into things. I have this one guy that I am doing that with, but a friend of mine told me to speed it up a little because I needed to keep him interested and engaged. I agree, so I will. Not too much tho...lol. Cant have my heart broken again...but I guess thats what relationships are for huh....I'm just tired of getting my heart broken, so I ease it up.
I don't like rushing, and I don't like people to be rushed. I like to go with the flow. If they can't stand that, then I don't need to be with them. I don't want to just make things seem casual.
@JustALittleLessPain@xanga - amen!
i think i'm a good judge of character, so when i put my all into a relationship, it means something. why wait when you know the person is good? i mean, i don't like, jump into bed with them, but i like to get to know them quickly.
I prefer to be friends first. My current boyfriend & I were friends for 2 years before we revealed that we had feelings for each other.. Even then, we waited almost 6 months before becoming "official". We spent those 6 months talking & going out on "dates" & it helped us get to know each other on a deeper level than friends before solidifying if it was the right choice to pursue the relationship.
i go with my family first then friends and other new friends who are smart and kind to my personalty to make them as good friend i love to gossip, talk and you name it i do it
It depend on the person and the relationship that's going to grow out of it. If it's friends I tend to get to know them right away, and I think it makes our friendship strong. When I want to date someone I try to be friends with them first, but I get to know them a little slower. It seems to be working well for me.
we started quite right away, and frankly, it isn't been going well at all. If I can restart it again, I would choose to build it up, as it gives us time to see and know each other before we're in a relationships already.
I used to throw myself into relationships, but I have found that you must really get to know a person before trying to share their day with them.
I mean, *I* must get to know them. All of the relationships where I frantically leapt into them ended miserably.
Great relationships need to be nurtured rather than rushed.
I'm not sure what I like.
All my relationships build fat. and I like it cause I end up feeling more comfortable with the person.
However, when we decide to cut off I'm always left feeling super empty, hurt, and alone. And then I cant even really complain because that's how I built it from the beginning.
I prefer slowly building into relationships. Most of my relationships have been with guys that were originally good friends of mine. The ones that I just kind of jumped into didn't work out very well. Because I didn't know them, I didn't know what I was getting into or how we would relate to eachother, so we just ended up being different people who wanted different things or clashing due to our perspectives and opinions.
I wouldn't trade it though, those are valuable dating experiences. Even if they were a nightmare at the time!
In my experience the relationships that build up slowly and are based on friendship tend to work out better than rushing into it. My better experiences have come from moving slowly; I regret most relationships I rushed into.
I usually know if I am interested in someone or not right from the start, so I would like to know if the girl is interested too or not right from the start. I don't necessarily want to rush the get to know you process but I just want to know where we stand in term of interest right from the beginning.
i'm impatient, so i would start the relationship right away, and to some women, i come off as desparate. i think i am impatient because i know exactly what i want, but i learned later that it would be better if we were just friends first.
I've experienced both, and as a result I'd recommend that relationships should be eased into, on a foundation of firm friendship.
My first real "relationship" was just that - something that just happened, and was jumped into. Not surprisingly, it crashed and burned after a few short months.
My current relationship was built on a firm foundation of friendship, growing over 18months, all long-distance. We were there for each other during the break-ups of our previous relationships and the start of something new, before realizing that we were made for each other. We're now coming up on 2 years, and couldnt be happy. We both have very much found "the one". XD
I guess usually I go pretty slow.
With my last ex we started dating in high school and were together for 7 years. I guess we went pretty slow.
With my husband I would probably say we went slow in a way. I knew him and we were friends before we started dating. Well I guess work friends. I didn't really see him outside of work. That was the slow part. After we started dating things went really fast. I guess because we already knew each other. After the first date David stayed over at my place and I remember waking up thinking that things were going to be weird at work now. Well after that we were together pretty much every day. We stayed over at each others places almost every night we were both in town. David would drop me off at class in the morning when I had class before him. I say that we went really fast! We were hardly together more than a month and I went to his mom's to celebrate their family Christmas and he came to my parents house for Christmas.
I prefer a slow build up with a mutual understanding that a relationship could become of it.
I think it's very admirable of you, Mr. Lion, to make your feelings known.
I, however, will have to stick with what I feel comfortable which is slow and friendly most of the time. Unless, I already know a lot about the guy before knowing him which is rarely the case, I never jump in. It makes it easier to make an informed decision if you go slow. Also, I think guys tend to be more honest about who they are when they are your friends instead of always trying to impress you and hiding their flaws when they start out as your boyfriend. I think it saves me a lot of time and a lot of heartache to have an honest and unstressful evaluation period. But yes, this leaves him open for others to take.
There is the heartache of slowly building up to it, as you said..."I don't know if he likes me or not" - I know this because I am going through the same thing and all you can do is wait for some sort of sign that it's okay to take the jump. But I wouldn't have it any other way, because I know him well enough for me to know he would treat any girl right.