Miss CheetahIt seems like whenever I read articles about people being single, someone's always complaining. It's understandable because
sometimes it's hard to meet guys/girls depending on where you live,
but I do know that you can't meet people feeling sorry for yourself in
your house!
As a single female, I've had a lot of time to
embrace myself, like taking on new hobbies and even getting back to the
things I put off while I was in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I'd
love to be in a relationship one of these days, but I'm not not trying
to force myself to be in one.
I started to realize that the less you
look for a man, the more men want to talk to you. Isn't that funny?
It's like you exude this demeanor that says you'll be good with or
without a man.
I believe being single takes courage. It takes
courage to ignore the media's images and suggestion telling women and
men alike that you're doomed if you're single. That's total garbage.
I'd rather be single and in touch with the things that make me happy
then be miserable in a relationship just to be in a relationship.
Would you rather be single or in relationship with someone who wasn't in touch with themselves? Why?
Recommend
Comments (76)
that is very true. The same goes for me :]
Throughout high school, i've always had that pressured feeling of "everyone has a gf/bf.....what about me??" the harder i try, the harder i fell. anywho... after i graduated, i just felt like i should go with the flow. they'll come when they wanna, and actually it did.
what does "being in touch with themselves" mean?
I've never had a boyfriend, even though I've been asked numerous times. I just don't want to date someone for the sake of dating someone, you know? I have more dignity than that, I like to think.
I'm taking upon the same technique you are. I've been single for over 2 years now and I'm kinda tired of chasing. So, I'm just sitting back, waiting while I finish school and such. However, no girls I don't know haven't come up to talk to me yet. Hahahah.
I love being single. I've loved it for quite a few many years now. It may be true for some that men want to talk to you more while exuding this...but I don't find it to be true.
So to answer the question, I'd for sure rather be single. As it's been said many times, in a relationship, 2 halves don't make a whole.
Hella eProps for this post...
I agree whole-heartedly, I would rather be single than attached to someone who is not in touch with themselves.
There is a level of self-knowledge and responsibility required in order to sustain a relationship. In order to positively impact someone, and in order to learn positively from the other, both parties should be very aware and responsible of themselves and others. Otherwise it's dysfunction city. I think we have got enough of that going on...
I would much rather be single than be in a crappy relationship, of course!
Anyone who says otherwise needs to re-evaluate their priorities.
I personally enjoy being single. I prefer it, actually. Everyone always tells me that they don't know why I'm single. Or that I'm a great friend and my guy friends want more. Sorry guys, not happening. Ever. The fact of the matter is that however we're most comfortable, we should just be that :)
Being in a relationship that doesnt feel right is a heavy weight to carry around. If I choose to be in one, I would want it to feel right and with someone that is in touch with himself. Otherwise the issues would be unbareable...Not to say I am perfect.. but I am atleast open to personal growth on a constant basis. I think that people unable to be in touch with themselves are not. Anyway...been there and done that. Wouldnt want to repeat that again. Being single can be empowering once we are able to find comfort in it. I know many people that have a hard time being single. Not saying that I wouldnt enjoy being in a relationship... just that I would rather be in it with the right person...otherwise Im good single.
Finally..somebody said it. I would rather be single and happy than attached and miserable. Ideally though, it is best to be attached and happy...but how many people can honestly say they are? (And no, if you have been dating your SO for less than 6 months, than you dont count)Â
I don't have high standards for my men at all. What I want to find, though, is a MAN. By that, I mean someone who is mature and responsible and capable enough to sustain what I want, which is a long-term committed relationship (and I'm not even talking about marriage--even in dating, I need to be able see that we'd get along for more than a day or even a week!) But I have no qualms about being single--some of my friends are telling me to go out and try new things (mainly flings) but I want to wait for something more substantial. I'm going to be honest here--I'm the type of person who would be totally fine dying an old maid. Sure, there might be times I'd be lonely, but I'd still have my loved ones, and I'd adopt a child anyway and be a single mother. I see nothing wrong with that. I'm single now, and I'm enjoying my independence!
Oh my God! Miss Cheetah, you just made my day.
I cannot stress non-codependency enough. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with ANYBODY who isn't a fully-functioning individual. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I wasn't held to the standard of standing on my own two feet, and I certainly don't want to have to be the only person with a life in any relationship I want to be in. I think being single is part of being an adult, and people who get married and start families young miss a tremendous period of growth, which is probably why many marriages dissolve or end up dysfunctional.
How can you know who you want to be with if you don't know what it's like to be alone?
@FallenReign@xanga - we're on the same plane here. my hero!
well i neva been in a relationship and i am kinda happy single i love spending time with my friends and doing stuff i love
i don't remember how it feels like to be single.
Great post! I miss being single sometimes, but every word your wrote is true.
@desertrose2890@xanga - That's true, people who have a short amount of time with someone can't say much, they're still in that happy stage.
I'd rather be single than be in a relationship with a dud. When I was single, I took the time to enjoy the single life [partying every weekend, chilling with friends til late, etc.] & really getting to know what I wanted. I chose to remain single for those two years & figure out who I was & what I wanted in my future significant other. Then with this relationship, we took 2 months break & I took that time to reassess that & recollect myself. That was great 'cause it definitely rejuvenated the relationship & now, we're both happier than ever. :)
You need to be in touch with yourself before you enter the relationship. If you don't know what makes you happy that makes it more likely you'll start basing your happiness on the other person. My friend had that problem. Her boyfriend broke up with her because of it, and the single time really helped her. She's more confident and secure now, and nows how to be happy alone.
It's difficult not to complain, but I do enjoy being single...I've learned alot about myself in the process. Â I would rather have someone who understood themselves rather than someone who can't be alone and doesn't really know themselves
being single is... liberating. It made me explore different sides of me. I found out that I am not scared to learn. Singlehood fostered my curiousity (nothing dirty, you dirty-minded you) . I couldn't care less about impressing the opposite sex - unless im at a job interview.
I dont think I've been single long enough to make that comparison. I was in a relationship for 10 yrs, and I've only been single for the past 6 months. I have been happier since the breakup for the same reasons you've stated. I have now realized that we were both too immature to have been in such a long and semi-serious relationship. (semi-serious because we didnt know what we wanted) I am now back in school to complete my degree, picked up old hobbies, caught up with some old and long lost friends, putting more effort into my current job, etc. And I'll also say this, people have told me that they havent seen me this happy or smiled this much (since the breakup) for a very long time now.
As they say, you've got learn to love yourself before you can love someone else. Being single is that learning phase.
Yeah, being single does take courage. I know I am not the best person when it comes to meeting girls, but at least I try (sometimes). It's hard being single because loneliness is always there creeping in the shadows behind you. No one ever likes loneliness, but we all have felt the intense emotions of knowing that you're alone. It's tough to get through, but with a little courage, being single isn't that bad.
first of all, huge kudos! i just broke up with my SO, and i'm so happy. we like each other, but we're completely different personality-wise, and we were miserable together. (i know it sounds like bull but it's all true!) we tried to make the relationship last for a long time, mainly because we were afraid to just let go, and be alone. i tried breaking up with him multiple times, but this time it's set in stone. i feel like i can finally focus on myself and that i don't have to change at all to make my SO happy. :]