Mr. LionThe white dress used in many western weddings is a symbolization of purity; it theoretically means the
bride has not engaged in premarital sex.
In this day and age when
a fair number of people have sex before marriage, though, that symbol of
purity is just an appearance at most weddings. Some of these women have not only
had premarital sex, but had multiple partners, too.
So what's the point of wearing
white on your wedding day - doesn't it seem hypocritical? Some women have
resorted to wearing lighter colors such as cream or ivory to avoid the issue...or maybe they just weren't thrilled with the idea of wearing white like so many brides before them.
But what
if that changed and there was color coordination for women based on the
number of partners they've had?
Why not be honest in your sexual exploits? Guys can do the same thing - trash the black tux - and be
color coordinated as well. This is how I imagine the colors would go:
- White - Virgin, no premarital sex. (women can wear white; guy wears the
black tux)
Okay, so it's a little extreme, but there wouldn't be a question as to someone's purity - the truth would be there for everyone to see for himself .
Why do women still
wear white even though many are not "pure" on the day of marriage? Do
you think a couple should be completely honest about the number of sexual
partners they’ve had?
Recommend
Comments (234)
The idea of your post is very interesting...however...
I think nowadays wearing white is more of a tradition that a symbol of "purity" or sexual partners, actually, I sincerely believe that MOST (not "some") women have had premarital sex, and MOST (maybe a lesser number) have had more than one partner. I certainly don't believe that your wedding is a place to visually announce such things, though. You and your partner are the only two people who's business it is whom you've both slept with.Let's not upset grandma by explaining that you're wearing purple because you were a bit promiscuous in college!:)I think any woman should be able to wear a white dress if she wants to. Whether someone is a virgin or not, they should still be honored and cherished and no one should be exposed on their wedding day. I am sure some people wouldn't mind telling the world, but I would guess that most would not want their past sex life on display on the day they are committing themselves to another. The tradition was started by an English queen...Victoria I think.. I personally wish that it wasn't so traditional because I think it kind of gets limiting...I also wish other colored gem stones were more common in wedding rings. I love color. In fact I think a ton of wedding traditions are irritating. I have a crazy idea for a wedding: do dinner theater. Write a script that involves a marriage, have the wedding party be the actors and put on a dramatic show that is also the marriage ceremony. Everyone can eat while you get married and then afterward everyone dances!!! Yea!! That sounds like so much fun. I was thinking some sort of buccaneer theme would be fun and you could have people swing from ropes and lots of rich, colorful costumes. You could make a musical because weddings are sappy enough for stuff like that!!
i completely agree with above :)
yeah if its with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. But I dont see how it should be relevent to the color of our dress. I still think white is the color for a wedding even if the bride is not a virgin. Its the color that may symbolize purity but its also the color that is embedded in many cultures...
Knowing how many partners your SO has had has both it's advantages and disadvantages. However, that knowledge should be kept in private.
You have an interesting idea about having specific colors for sexual purity, but is that really something you'd like your friends and family to know?
Well, for one thing, if wedding dresses were color coded, the gossip wouldn't be nearly as much fun!
First off, your concept of purity is kind of... well... fucked up. Not to sound harsh, but it is. Just because a woman has had sex with multiple people does not make her "unpure." That's a really really old fashioned notion.
The reason most women still wear white is because it's tradition. Just like diamond rings are a tradition for engagement. Or wedding showers are a tradition. Or marriage itself is a tradition. Most of the women who don't wear white don't do it because they are admitting they are "less pure" they do it because they don't so much care about breaking with tradition. Or they found a dress they really like and it happened to not be white.
The whole concept that women have to be pure/virgins when they're married but men don't really pisses me off.
i read that the white dress started out as a fashion trend, not b/c of the purity symbolism. if i remember correctly, someone in the british royal family wore a white dress to display her wealth (a white dress would be a waste to buy - it would get dirty so fast and you could probably only wear it once).
but if we are talking about the purity issue - i think at the end of the day, it's just a dress. a bride should have the freedom to wear whatever she wants. as for sexual histories, i think it's ideal for both partners to be honest about their histories. no matter what the #, each partner should be accepting. when they're not, that's probably very telling about whether or not they are with a person who loves and accepts them completely as they are.
The color arrangement was interesting.. I wonder how you picked out those colors & why in that particular order.. [aside from white & cream.]
I think a couple should be completely honest about sexual partners 'cause it'd help me understand him better. That said, I'd prefer my significant other not have had sexual relations with anyone prior to me. The thought of him making love to me & comparing me to his former partners makes me sick. However, that's just my opinion.. to each his/her own. :)
I agree, color coding wedding dresses makes the ceremony more interesting lol
But I just recently got married and I was a virgin when I married. I wore Ivory. And I know a few people looked at me sideways when they saw I had an Ivory dress.
who cares?!?!?!?!
I wore the dress that I liked and it didn't matter what color it was, especially since I paid for it
Brides wear what you want!!!
The thing is, its not a sign of purity anymore, but a tradition. Taking away the white takes away from the western world wedding tradition. A couple should be honest with how much partners they've had, but that is only your business who ever you have slept with and nobody else's. It is not my suppose-sister-in-law's business to know that I have slept with one guy, three guys, etc. And it's nobody else's business in that wedding except for the person who I am marrying, and if I was a whore and no longer am, I reserve the right not to let the whole world know how sexually active I was with other people. A white wedding gown gives everyone the opportunity to be equal and not have to be, "Oh, she's a slut." "Look she's still a virgin, haha!" "One more person and she could have been a slut."
Let's be honest (since that's what you're getting at).
My family, by the time I am married, will all likely have an inkling of my sexual exploits. My best friends will have been in on it since the beginning.
The people attending my wedding will be more excited to see me wearing my grandmother's dress than a dress that suits my sexuality. It's not an announcement. It's an unspoken awareness.
With the exception of dates that my hand-picked guests bring, everyone will be in on it.
I know that women (and men) who are marrying for a second time avoid the white dress/black tuxedo. At that point it's just ridiculous, I guess?
i dunno, there's some weird unspoken limits.
@charlottegeely@xanga - I believe the sapphire was the original gemstone for engagement rings.. but I could be wrong. I think then the diamond industry wanted to make diamonds a hot item & so started the trend with diamond engagement rings. You can always opt for a non-diamond engagement ring. That'd definitely be unique & play well with your idea for your wedding. :)
@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - That's a DAMN good point!!! I know that's one of my favorite things at weddings! XD
@haemina@xanga - right--white wedding dress started out as a Western tradition. I think in Indian culture brides traditionally wear red, and the Romans wore bright orange veils called the flammeum. For some people it symbolizes purity, for some it's just because it's what everyone else does, and some people like to do their own thing. It's not socially expected as much these days, just like the traditional gown isn't expected as much.
@eternal_dreaming@xanga - That's interesting. Yeah, the diamond industry is a monopoly. They aren't as rare as people think.
I think they should be honest with their partners, but I see no reason to advertise on your special day how many people you have had sex with(also, I would have put red where purple is on your scale). Plus, isn't the dress and the day about the bride and groom? Shouldn't they wear what they want and what color they want?
And maybe the meaning of white has changed these days, maybe it's more of a declaration, like "You are the only one that matters." That is how'd I'd think of it, though I've only had one partner and he's my fiancé.
I've known a lot of people who didn't even realize that the white dress was supposed to symbolize purity. Also, many women have been planning their weddings since they were like 2 and in all likelihood always imagined themselves wearing white because they didn't know any better when they first started imagining and planning it and then by the time it wasn't appropriate anymore that color for the dress was just so ingrained in their mind that there was no way to get it out.
Also, this brings up the question, how would you fit that code to someone who was raped, does the rapist count as a partner?
@haemina@xanga - "when they're not, that's probably very telling about whether or not they are with a person who loves and accepts them completely as they are. "
I agree. So what if they had many sex partners before you? They are still the same person and maybe because they were sleeping around so much they got tired of it, decided to settle down and found their way into your arms. Yeah, a person's life can mold and shape them, but in the end it is just a past, history. You live and you learn.
@charlottegeely@xanga - That's a great idea for a wedding! My engagement ring is an emerald. When my finace was fishing for what kind of ring I wanted(we were looking through a JCPenny's catalog and he kept asking me about the rings) I told him straight, "If we were to get engaged I would want an emerald. I hate diamonds, what's the point of them? They're boring for the most part,and ridiculously priced."
@Nikolais_apprentice@xanga - In Chinese tradition, the bride wears red too.. I think it's for good luck or something. I'm not very good with my Chinese culture knowledge.
I do plan on wearing red at my wedding though.. after I walk down the aisle in my white dress. There will be a "costume" change & I'll probably wear a red qi pao [traditional Chinese dress] 'cause it's easier to move around in than a big puffy wedding dress. :)
Wearing white is a tradition during a wedding ceremony. It's nobody's business how many people a person has slept with. Some people don't look great in white and prefer cream/pink/black/swim suit. I've heard about weddings under water and while sky diving. Or some people prefer traditional style, therefore a white dress.
Why would anyone want to advertise how many people they've slept with?
Interesting but thoughtless article LOL.
It's a tradition, and I don't see the need for the bride to have to be that honest through her clothing if there isn't any indicators for the groom.
I wore a gorgeous ivory for my first wedding. I plan on wearing this amazing deep burgundy dress when I get remarried. How many partners I've had is irrelevant (though I will tell you your count spread is very naive) because it's my wedding. 'Purity' is relative.
Speaking of numbers, that's dangerous information, and I advise against it. If you must discuss, do it vaguely. It really shouldn't matter, and yet...The stupidity of my youth should not count against me now.
@eternal_dreaming@xanga - the only thing great about diamonds is that they'll never clash with an outfit.