Mr. LionWhile reading comments on Datingish, I noticed that many of the readers are
young and hopeful of love, some even after going through pain and
heartache in their love life. I was just curious about a few things
regarding relationships and the steps leading up to marriage, and
wanted the opinions of the readers here on Datingish.
- When is the right age to start dating?
I've
always thought it was when someone entered high school, so around 13? That's
when I first started dating, my sophomore year. It was someone that had
never lived in NYC, so it was really interesting getting to know
someone from another state.
- How many years are you willing to wait in between an engagement and marriage?
Personally
I'd say as many years as it takes my fiancé to get ready. I'm not in a
big rush, but if she takes too long, like 5 years, then we have a problem.
I should just say a year or two to be safe, right?
- When do you hope to get married?
I've always said anytime before I’m 30. I never want to be married
when I'm 35 and then start a family. I want to be able to play with my
kids, not walk around with a cane. Imagine trying to play basketball with
your kid while on a cane? HILARIOUS!!!
- Do you think you can love one person for the rest of your life?
This
may sound trivial but I've seen people love more than one person. They
choose to be with the person that is a little more complete in terms of
what they have to offer in a marriage and as a life partner.
- Do you think you’ve found that person?
I
thought I did, but I was wrong. Things just didn't go as planned. But
I'm not done looking. The search is pretty fun, even through all the
heartache and problems, no?
How would you answer these questions?
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Comments (70)
Love have no season.
Love know no age.
Love have no terms and conditions, nor rules and regulations, it is all solely up to us individualy.
There is never a right time, never a wrong time for love, just that along the way we met the wrong person and everything goes all wrong.
<li>When is the right age to start dating?
Whenever you feel you are ready. for me? kinda dating someone whom i've yet to meet...but it'll change next year when he comes to see me.
<li>How many years are you willing to wait in between an engagement and marriage? 6months to 1-2 years. once we are both ready emotionally, physically and financially.
<li>When do you hope to get married? before i am 30.
<li>Do you think you can love one person for the rest of your life? yes i think i can, provided that we both can keep each other interested, have fun and all the good stuff.
<li>Do you think you’ve found that person?
i think so but still pretty much finding that out. hope all goes well :)
I think I started dating when it was right for me (high school), I think I've found the right person (the same young man), I think I'll be willing to wait as long as I need to (until we're both ready) to get married, and I think it's possible to love someone forever.
That out of the way, not everyone's like me. And the only thing that I hope everyone else can share with me is being able to love someone forever. It takes work, but I think you can love anyone if you try. In marriage, that person becomes family, and I'm of the opinion that you should always love your family.
Yeah, this probably all sounds silly out of a college junior who's only dated one person, but it's what I feel.
I think high school is a good age...I first started dating the summer between 8th and 9th grade.
I would probably say at least a year or two, possible three...but no more than that. Take into consideration the time to plan a wedding, announce the engagement, deal with family...etc...plus, I like the idea of moving in together and taking a trial run before buying the entire package.
I hope to get married in the next ten years. I'm planning on going to medical school, so I'd hope it would be before or after, but since its two years til I start...I doubt it will be before!
I definitely think you can love one person the rest of your life. Sometimes, you just find a person that you can't live without. Whether that be a great friend, a family member, or a lover. Love is expressed in many different ways, but it's still as strong.
I haven't found that person yet. But that's OK, I'm complacent until I find him. When it's the right time, they'll be there.
Only start dating when you can afford it and when you are ready. Why even bother with an engagement? Just jump into a marriage when you are financially able and ready. You really don't need an engagement to tie someone down and think that she/he won't break it up. When you find the right one, you will love that person for the enitre of your life. I know I have found the perfect someone and he feels the same way too.
me and my girlfriend have to wait until we're done with college to get married, so that will land us dating a little over 5 years. i'm planning to ask her to marry me the beginning of our senior year in college. but shhhh! don't tell!
also, i started dating when i got into high school. my first two girlfriends were two years older than me, biiiiig mistake. haha. but the way i think about it, every girlfriend i've had has made me the way i am now and put me where i am now, so i wouldn't have met my girl if i hadn't dated exactly everyone i did.
You can't put an age on these things. Some people are ready to start dating in high school, but you need to have someone around that you would want to date and vice versa. If the situation's not right, no point in forcing it. A lot of us were happy not having the pressure of that while we were trying to grow up too. While I didn't have a specific rule for it, I didn't try to push myself into dating and didn't end up doing it until college, which was just as well. It's not like most people meet their life partner in high school anyway.
Marriage - again, whenever it works for you. If you try to make a relationship work because you wanted to do it by a certain age... it may not work out and you'll just end up out there again in a few years, starting over when you really are older. Keep yourself healthy and with a young attitude and your number age won't matter. Life goes on, more than you think. I'm 33, haven't had kids but still plan to in a few years. I don't see a cane in my near future, or even my 67-year-old mother's near future.
I hope you can love one person for the rest of your life (and have it be the same person you actually end up with - easy to love the one that got away). I know it takes work and the feeling of being trapped in it is beyond scary, but I want to make it work because I know it's right and want to have that family.
When is the right age to start dating?
-i think it depends on the person... for most people it'd probably fall around their freshman year in highschool, but if i look back and assess honestly, i probably wasn't ready to date till around junior year.
How many years are you willing to wait in between an engagement and marriage?
-i think i'm too young to give a good answer to this question, but a year or two sounds about right.
When do you hope to get married?
-no idea... i don't want to limit myself, and while it'd be nice to be married before thirty, i'm not going to start freaking out if i don't find the right guy before then. it just depends on when (if at all) i find the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with.
Do you think you can love one person for the rest of your life?
-again, i think i'm too young to answer... but i think if you honestly find the right person, it's possible.
Do you think you’ve found that person?
-i don't want to sound young and foolish, but [only after a month] i think i might have. or rather... i wouldn't MIND if my current boyfriend were the guy i spent my life with. and while i know things can happen and change, at this point, i've kind of found my perfect guy. :)
I think the age depends on the person. Personally, I started dating my senior year of high school. Yea, I was a late bloomer. My parents had also put into place a "no dating until college" rule. While I didn't agree with them & I tried to rebel against them, as luck would have it, I was a late bloomer. I didn't really attract the guys in HS. xP However, looking back, I think I should have waited until college to start dating. I have realized that dating so early & so young screwed with my academic career & I could have done so much better than I did. I also think waiting until I was ready [mentally, emotionally, etc.] was a smarter choice. That's what I ended up doing in college, right up to my junior year when I started dating my current boyfriend.
I think I am willing to wait 2 years in between engagement & marriage. I don't see a point in getting engaged & waiting an absurd amount of years to get married 'cause then, what was the point in getting engaged? To me, getting engaged is an act that you show you are ready to commit. So dragging the period out doesn't make sense 'cause it only comes off as you're not fully ready to commit then you shouldn't have gotten engaged in the first place. I think waiting 2 years is ideal, if not too much. That way I can take my time planning while still enjoying the engagement stage.
My ideal age to get married would be 25 & I think that's when I still hope to get married. However, seeing as things don't always go as planned, we'll see. I'm currently nearing 22 & nowhere close to being engaged. I had originally planned on marrying mid-20s & having all my children before 30-35 so I can avoid all the "dangers" & precautions needed 'cause I'm pretty squeamish with needles.
I think you can love one person for the rest of your life. True love is being able to love someone for who he is, faults included, & for an indefinite amount of time.
I think I have found that person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I think he feels the same but we just want to be extra sure. We've been together for exactly 2 years today but have been friends for longer. Even now, we're still crazy about each other & we're both the first thing that comes to the other's mind. :)
- 15 for girls; 16 for boys
- As many as it takes
- Not too long after I'm out of school for good.
- Sure, absolutely
- Bah.
When is the right age to start dating?
Highschool. You can have a little thing going on in junior high, not something too serious.
How many years are you willing to wait in between an engagement and marriage?
It all depends in what point in a person's life they are in. If I were to get engaged right now, it would have to wait 4-5 years because I won't marry while still in college and possibly while still in grad school. But if it's in a good point in someone's life, 1-2 years ideally.
When do you hope to get married?
Ideally between 25-28.
Do you think you can love one person for the rest of your life?
Yes, I believe that everyone has their "love of their life."
Do you think you’ve found that person?
I thought I did and I was very naive.
I say try to find yourself before you find someone to be with. The person you were in highschool is different than the person that came out of college.
As for marriage, take all sides into account. Is this person going to be there for you, if yes than why do you say that. Think about what you two have been through and what that's done in your relationship. As for age, I say as long as you are self suficient and comfortanle with yourself go for it.
As for loving one person, there are different kinds of love and you need to have three to love someone forever.
1) The love that makes you attracted to them (if you only have this, your relationship may not last)
2) the love of them as a person
and 3) The love of being in their company/ talking to them
I think I have found the right person, but the only thing that makes me unsure is that I'm still in school for another 3 years and my Joe is going to the navy for 4 years. I love him very much and he did ask me to marry him long before this (and I tld him, if you get your future going so you can support yourself, you;ll have my answer)
I can wait that's no problem, I'm just a bit scared for his safety and hopefully he'll come back th same sweet man he always was to me...
Cynical old lady here thinks you're old enough to date once you're earning at least part of your own keep. That doesn't mean mom and pop giving an allowance. That means buying your own clothes, food, and contributing to the cost of your living space. If you're living on someone else's dime, you have friends. --and this friends with priveledges stuff is STUPID.
Engagements? Depends on what else is going on. If you're both in school, juggling loans, etc. or both just starting careers, you need to take a good hard look at the financial ramificatons of marriage. Manage the business side of it as well as the emotional side. Time is a factor, too, if you want to start a family, say, before you're 28, or 30, or whatever your personal time frame might be. Talk about it. It's cheaper to put off a wedding than to get a divorce over these nuts and bolts issues.
When to get married, well, I'm there, and happily.
Loving just one person for the rest of my life? Not possible. Loving and HONORING my husband for the rest of my life, totally do-able. Especially where we've survived a couple of rough spots. He totally gets what I mean when I say "marriage is forever, but don't push your luck, buddy." If we can't honor each other, including not pushing each other's jealousy buttons, then it's time to take a closer look at our marriage.
There are many people I love, but I cannot imagine sharing my day to day life with anyone but the man I'm married to. I doubt anyone else would put up with me, either
-- When is the right age to start dating?
I think high school would be an appropriate time to date. Although some say that they could never approve of such young dating, it's better to learn while you're an adolescent, because once you're out of high school and you meet your first love THEN (whether pursuing post-secondary studies or a job), it'll be harder to get your priorities straight. With some experience under your belt, when you're 18+ and dating, you'll know what's the most important to you in your life.
--How many years are you willing to wait in between an engagement and marriage?
Well, personally I'm kinda young ><, so ideally I'd say 2-4 years. For me, dragging it on isn't the healthiest option, but at the same time, you need to know your SO much more in depth before you marry him/her.
--When do you hope to get married?
I definitely hope I get married during my late twenties. It's not because I'm conforming to how most girls think; I just think I would like to have a stable love life before I pursue other interests in the future.
--Do you think you can love one person for the rest of your life?
"...I've seen people love more than one person. They choose to be with the person that is a little more complete in terms of what they have to offer in a marriage and as a life partner."
- I totally agree, and I'm 100% sure I WILL marry the one that has more to offer in terms of stability and promise. That's what I value the most in a relationship anyway.
--Do you think you’ve found that person?
I AM currently in a relationship, but it'll take a lot more time to find out if he is that person. Right now, I have very strong feelings for him and he treats me well, but at the same time, it's pretty clear that our future goals might be a circumstance that will pull us apart. If our "wants" collide, then that would be great. If not...well...there will be others for me.
Then again I've only been seeing my SO for 6 months, so I can't really predict what will happen. All I can say is that truth in time tells all!
- When is the right age to start dating?
Before the person's 18, it's ultimately up to the parents. I'd personally say no earlier than high school (or the summer before), but otherwise, whenever the person is ready. Oh, and he/she better not have to ask their parents for money to go on a date (getting an allowance and saving it for this is fine in my book).
- How many years are you willing to wait in between an engagement and marriage?
Until both people are ready to get married. In my opinion, if the people are really "in love," as we call it, there's no rush.
- When do you hope to get married?
After I'm out of school, which won't be for another four years, at least. Theoretically before I'm 30-ish, but we'll have to wait and see.
- Do you think you can love one person for the rest of your life?
Me personally? Maybe. Me, so young and with no relationship experience? I can't really answer this, though I'm leaning towards "yes" (it's a complicated situation that I'd rather not think about/go into).
- Do you think you’ve found that person?
Provided that the above is yes, then maybe. But loving someone and being with them are different things.
I don't think there's an absolute age that marks a person's readiness to date. Some are earlier than others. Some still shouldn't date in my opinion. However, I would think that most people in hs are better equipped to handle a little relationship than a junior highschooler. Again, I'm not saying HS is ideal... you still gotta be ready, and for some... it's college... As for engagements, I would probably wait at least a year, esp if you were jumping the gun and have been dating for less than a year. There are other factors involved, but I'm looking for a long courtship and relatively short engagement. I really dont' think it should be the other way around. I thought I'd be married by 25 when I was in hs, but here I am many years after 25 and I'm still not ready to get married. I'm sure I can love one person for the rest of my life. Just haven't found her yet.
Didn't get my first girlfriend til I was 16, then didn't date again til I was 24, then 28 and finally my current girlfriend at 32. I've only had maybe 4 or 5 girlfriends in my life. Never wanted to get married before I was 30. I'm gonna love my current girlfriend for the rest of my life...in fact, we're gettin married.
I don't believe there's a "right time" to date but personally, 15 or so (that's when we enter high school in Canada). I had my first bf when I was 17, so I can't really say.
I'm willing to wait probably up to 3 years. It really depends what your situation is like. Are you in school? Are you financially stable to start a new life with your SO? Or are you already living together? Etc, etc. For me, I'd say waiting 1 year from engagement and marriage is ideal.
I feel the same way about getting married AND having a kid before 30. These are all in hopes that I finish school, find a good career, and stabilize my income. Haha.
Yes, I'd like to believe so.
I'm not too sure yet. I'm still young and pretty inexperienced in this field.
Right age: 13 is pretty good.
Wait between engagement and marriage: I guess three or so. If it's the right person, I'm willing to wait.
Get married: Early twenties. Around or at 22, preferably. Yes, it's young but I want to have a lot of children!
Life-long love: I do believe in this, absolutely!
Found: Negative. But, I'm young, give me time!
who enters high school at around 13? You were SO not 13 your sophomore year unless you skipped a bunch of grades...
Honestly though, all of these answers vary depending on the people. A good age to start dating is when you're emotionally mature enough to handle it (although I guess for most people that wouldn't be until like 25... haha).
I think you can love one person your whole life, though that doesn't mean you might not occasionally have feelings for other people too. Or well, not your whole life. Because chances are you didn't meet that person right when you were born
1) I would say you can date (one-on-one) can start at 13. Group dates are pretty much always okay. But really? You don't even NOTICE the opposite gender until you're ten.
2) There's a lot of factors that have to be taken into account for the period of engagement. You can be engaged as long as you feel fit. One day? Okay. 8 years? Also okay. Whatever it takes to allow that transition period to occur when you are certain you want to move to marriage.
3) I want to get married by the time I'm 26. That offers ME the chance to have a stable job and career before I choose to share it with another. But, this all depends on the state of the other person entering into the agreement. They have to have reached a similar period in their lives. I don't want to get married too much later than 30 because then I become worried about the possibilities of my having children (which I REALLY want) and I don't want a huge gap in age, because that decreases the ability for your children to relate to your advice.
4) Love in marriage? Most certainly, but of course you will love others platonically.
5) Yes, yes I do.
@artemis_tx@xanga - I think that's really true. The whole age thing really varies with the situation and person.
@IfonEarth@xanga - I think you make a good point--they should start dating BEFORE they're 18. I hadn't thought about that, but it's really true.
@dryvona@xanga - You made an interesting point on loving someone for the rest of your life-it can be done, but that doesn't mean it HAS to be. It's a mutual contract. Hm.