That's good :) I suppose I'm in a similar situation except a little different... the guy isn't gay.  BUT I do understand being attracted to that type of guy (oh Neil Patrick Harris!!!) and having those feelings. 

It's good to hear that you got them out, wishing and hoping for a while can be really draining.

I think you're deluding yourself. "He told me it is because of where he is right now, and if he had been single a year ago, he would have tried to take me away from my boyfriend."

People who say these things, are just trying to be kind in saying that "it's not going to happen".

Honey, he is gay. People don't just wake up one day and go, "I'm tired of being gay, because I've met an amazing girl". It just doesn't happen.

You're degrading yourself by "willing to be the experiment girl". You are essentially giving yourself up as a lab rat, a piece of meat, something to be used and then thrown away if it doesn't take his fancy.

"I told him that I didn't think his boyfriend was good enough for him. I know he can be happier, and I think he knows it too." You can think that, you're entitled to think what you want. But again, you are deluding yourself. If he knew he could be happier with you, or anyone else, he wouldn't still be with his boyfriend.

However, I am glad  to hear that you value your friendship with him above all else.

@awokenfatality@xanga - Why would a gay man marry a woman out of love? Why would a gay man, who is attracted to men, marry a woman? That's like saying a straight man would marry another man because they are capable of "loving them so much more". It isn't like a preference, they don't pick and choose when they feel like it.

Gay men who marry women tend to continue gay relationships behind that woman's back. It used to be that they married women because they wanted children, and this was of course at a time where IVF treatment did not exist, and homosexuality was viewed very negatively.

Now, with gay marriage being legal in most countries, I don't see why a gay man would marry a woman. I'm sorry, but I think it's very naive to think that it is perhaps because they are "capable of loving that woman so much more".

No offense meant of course, just my view on things!

I do agree that sometimes, people can love someone who is outside of their sexual orientation. However, I don't personally think it could ever be anything romantic.

I also agree in thinking that this "best friend", is leading her on, messing with her feelings and isn't being fair.

I think sexual orientation is something that isn't completely recognized and understood. Sexuality is so vast that it's pretty ridiculous to tie it down to either "gay" or "straight". Sex (and love for that matter) isn't a two way street. There are MANY different roads.

For instance, I find myself sexually attracted to women occasionally... But I am not romantically attracted. I would never consider dating a woman. Apparently, the vast majority of straight women feel the same.

If someone is going to say you either like girls or you like guys... then are we simply going to discredit bisexuality? I think it's a pretty narrow-minded point of view to think that love is all about gender. It completely transcends that. It's about the individual.

However, I have to agree with porcelianx27 on some level. Whether love is sexually oriented or not... physical attraction does come into play and if this gay guy friend of yours isn't as attracted to women as he is to men, that can cause some problems.

I think some women have what I've heard called a Cinderella Complex. We like the tall, dark, handsome and shady characters. We think we can change them, "fix" them. In your case, you want to change this boy into being a heterosexual. But you have to think about things for the long wrong. Will this be helping either one of you? Will this help or hurt your friendship?

I've been going through a very similiar problem... The only difference being that the boy is in a heterosexual relationship. We've been best friends for years, and when he broke up with his girlfriend, we "got together" for a bit (he was away at college at the time... so there wasn't much we could do aside from texting and such). He had a fear that he would go back to his girlfriend (which he eventually did). I kept telling him that he wasn't going to hurt me... that that wouldn't hurt me. That I would understand. Lo and behold, it's the complete opposite.

Porcelainx27 is right, dear. You're deluding yourself. You are more than likely going to get hurt. If he truly only likes men... he won't change for you. You need to respect both yourself and him and understand that.

Even still, best of luck.

Peace&love,
Brooke.

Nothing better than a happy ending :)

None of us know the situation better than those involved. He could be gay and just be foolishly messing with her feelings out of a semiconscious desire to get out of his bad relationship, or he could be confused/bi and this could work out. In any case, I think its great that they were open and honest with one another, and I hope that whatever the nature of their relationship, that things go well for them both. Just talk, a lot, and move slowly! Make sure things feel right for the both of you!

Congratulations. I'm glad you're happy.

I believe that if any "gay" person ever has sex/dates somebody of the oposite sex...they'd get over that gay foolishness and realize that bein straight is not only right, but, normal and the natural way to go and that "gayness" is the xact oposite of that.

@WifeOfAGayHusband@xanga -I was taught that homosexuality is a choice and that people ain't born bein gay. I know several "gay" people who were with the oposite sex for most of their lives then just out of the blue...bacame "gay".  So, I know that bein "gay" people ain't born that way. Besides, bein "gay" ain't natural, normal or healthy. I was also taught that even havin "gay" thoughts and/or tendacies is a big, big, big sin and that you'll go to Hell if ya have them specially if ya act on them. That's how most Christans see the issue...or the ones I go to church with do.

@WifeOfAGayHusband@xanga - Okay, let's see. If people was born "gay"...we'd never have no kids. If "gayness" is natural....the human race would die off cause havin sex with somebody whos the same sex as you are can't produce kids. Therefor...bein "gay" is bein a deviant. Plus, God don't make people be "gay" cause it ain't in His design. The frase "God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve" is true. It's still wrong. And I opose the gay movement with everything that's in me.

@WifeOfAGayHusband@xanga - Totally got the Bible wrong. The Bible don't say that women are inferior to men. It says that the man is the head of the family and that the wife is to submit to her husband as bein the head of the family. While it don't come right out and say it...it implies that the husband is to seek his wife's opinion on the major decisions. Also the Bible never, never, never nowhere in it says that it is okay to beat your wife. How does heart transplants, microwaves and tvs relate to homosexuality not bein natural??? The "numbers and facts" are asembled by liberals who suport the "gay movement". The people wo gather them even admit that they're liberals and that they support homosexuality. So, what they say about it can't be trusted. But then...I never trust liberals. Don't think that most of em won't know the truth if it came up and hit em in the face. Yeah, I'm a die hard conservative. So, the way that I see it...you have your views and I have mine and we ain't gonna make each other think that our views are wrong. While you think that bein gay is okay and I see it as bein wrong, sinful and deviant action/lifestyle...that don't mean that we can't respect each other and just agree to disagree about this subject.

that's pretty cool.

be his first and only girl! lols.

okay, it sounds pretty lame but i m happy for ya!

XD

This guy could be bisexual. If he is, I am sure he knows it.