heh. I used to be one of those.. except the other girl was definitely coming on to my boyfriend & I didn't put my arm around him or snuggle up to him. I think the only way to show the girlfriend you come in peace is to not come off as flirtatious, which you definitely weren't so in that case, that girlfriend was an extreme. I would say you did all the right things, you tried to include the girl in on the conversation & seemed intent on trying to get to know her. She's just too insecure, that's all I can say.

Since then, I've learned & stopped caring about my guy talking to other girls 'cause I know my boyfriend is only into ONE girl.. ME. :) & if the horrible thing happens & he shows too much interest in another girl, then I don't want him.

although this case might have been a bit extreme, it's also understandable.

ive been in the girlfriend's situation before, but chose not to "mark my territory".... and the girl ended up thinking he was single and was clearly interested.  had i made it known right away that i was his gf, i probably could have prevented some drama that occurred afterwards.

I'm not usually the so extreme "marking" type, but there have been girls who have came onto my man (after he clearly stated he had a girlfirend) when I wasn't around and he always tells me who these girls are.  So every time they are around I make a point to mark my territory, but it's usually only in a case where he has mentioned he has a girlfriend but the girl doesn't take the damn hint.  He likes it when I get territorial, though, and sometimes he'll lie and say a girl is eying him when we're out just so that I'll say something catty or grab his hand.  I don't know why he likes it so much, I thought most guys hated that sort of thing.

How could you tell that she wasn't just snuggling up to him or holding his hand because she felt like it, and not because she felt threatened?

I personally couldn't give a crap when women give my boyfriend attention,  I see it as a compliment that I am with someone who is considered attractive! It's different of course, if my boyfriend becomes bothered by it and the other person can't take a hint. A while ago, a girl kept texting and trying to ring him to arrange "meeting up" and telling him that she "loved" him. It didn't bother me, because I trusted him. When it did start to bother me however, was when he expressed that he was pissed off and annoyed by her behaviour, and despite him telling her very politely to leave him alone, she continued to do it. Eventually, he changed his number.

Obviously I'd have a problem if they started being too full-on, but if they subtly flirt with him, I don't really mind, just as long as he doesn't start returning the advances.

I think the best way to deal with someone who is territorial however, is to just not give a shit. You know that you're doing no harm, and aren't trying to "steal their man", so it's their fault if they feel so insecure and threatened. I mean what the Hell are you supposed to do? Avoid speaking to someone as a friend just because they have a girlfriend?

I ignore them. It's not my fault they are the way they are, and I'm not going to let it stop me from talking to people that I know or want to know just because they're being territorial. It isn't my problem, and it shouldn't keep their SO from making friends or keeping their old ones. That's a problem right there. And if I try to invite them into the conversation and they don't want to participate, too bad for them. I'm done talking when I'm done talking.

my friend's gf is like that - and honestly there really isn't anymore you can do except just let it be. you have no obligation to her, and if anything at least you tried making conversation.

I ran into a guy that I went to HS with a few years ago at the mall. He was working a cell phone booth in the middle of the mall, so it's not like I had to track him down inside of a store. He wasn't busy so I stopped to say hi. A few minutes later his GF shows up with dinner for him. He introduced me to her as a "friend from HS" and I reached to shake her hand. She gave the dead fish shake (maybe that's just how she shook hands?!) and a look that could kill. That was my cue to hit the road. I laughed about it afterwards...I think the territorial ones need to settle down a bit!! Not EVERYONE is after your man!!

@porcelainx27@xanga - I could tell by the death stare that she gave me, haha.

To some extent I agree with those of you who said it's mildly understandable. I mean, the holding hands thing didn't bother me. it was just how cold she was when I tried to make conversation.

I don't need drama like that, no matter how "subtle" they try to be about it.  It just tells me that she is not a person I would want to be friends with (let's just say we wouldn't relate) and I'd probably not try to include her in the conversation.  Even "taken" guys can have friends who are girls... or even a simple conversation with the opposite sex.

@hopelessromantic - Yes that's fair enough, she has no right to be rude to you or give you evil looks!  People like that don't appreciate your kindness, and therefore don't deserve it. I personally don't understand why some females feel the need to be rude towards another just because they feel threatened, it's not an excuse.

But yeah, as someone else said, you can only try to be nice, and if they don't return the favour then I tend to think to myself "ah well, screw you" and just not bother anymore.

After all, she doesn't mean anything to you right!

just ignore that bitch, it's not your fault that she's not confident enough in herself.  she probably thinks that she's not quite good enough to hang on to a man besides holding his hand.  you should feel good about yourself if other women see you as a "threat" even if you've done nothing.  keep up the good work.

pee on the ground and start barking

yay what a rude girl..she dont trust her bf..but she shouldnt be mean to you..if im a lil bitchy i'll show her she might be the ex in a sec..lolz..