Mr. LionI remember when I had to sneak off to use the phone - it was my only line
of communication because I didn't have a computer. We only had one phone
line in our house and I had to split the line into my room to talk to
my girl. My parents were always on me about using the phone. They
were clueless for a while and couldn't understand why I was using the phone so much. Those days, phone conversations meant so much and we spent
hours talking about random things.
When
we finally did get computers, our phone conversations became shorter because we'd use AIM instead. I preferred the phone; I liked
listening to her voice on the other end. I loved hearing her laugh and
was able to tell if she was concerned about something. But with
computers came new technology and the the next thing big thing in our
lives was Xanga - it put the spotlight on our problems and caused
more drama. We were able to see everything we wrote and argued over stupid things.
We wouldn't talk for days and let our Xangas describe our lives and how we felt. I wanted her to call me when she was angry, not post it on
Xanga, because I'd read it and get pissed off, too. It
seemed the more advanced communications became, the worse our
relationship became. I didn't mind using these methods,
but they did more harm than good in our relationship. They let me in on
everything she did, which was sometimes too much.
I didn't need to know every aspect of her
life through texts, emails or Xanga. I looked forward to talking to her
at the end of every night, getting a wrap-up of her day, things
bothering her and planning something for the next day.
These advanced
forms of communication were supposed to bring us closer, except it only
pulled us further apart. There were times I felt we had no human
communication because we let our digital words speak for us. I miss the
days of sneaking around to talk on the phone. The relationships seemed
more genuine.
Do you think the advances in technology make a relationship feel diluted and less genuine?
What's your favorite method of conversing?
A. Phone
B. Email/instant messaging
C. Social sites
D. All of the above; I'm a multitasker and embrace technology
E. None of the above - what are they? I live under a rock.
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Comments (74)
I definitely think the internet is adding a lot more drama to relationships, but as long as people still take the time to talk in person or on the phone then it shouldn't have too much of an effect.
It's all about the effort.
And then there's all those dating sites...
I either phone/text my SO or see each other in person. I think the whole social blogging thing is absurd. No one has to know about your problems. =/ too bad things turned out bad for you. I do aim ocassionally, but I still call.
The Internet can ruin relationships with so many different social sites like facebook, myspace, bebo etc) blogging sites like Xanga, Wordpress, Blogger.
Also with video websites youtube and other ones.
Also not forgetting forums.
My favorite method is email however I also prefer sending a letter or a postcard to the person depending what the situation was and who it was too.
I don't think it's the internet that ruins things. People have choices to make, and it's their choice to let it all out on websites. I don't see why everybody has to find out about your business. If I argue, I need to talk to that person...preferrably on the phone or in person. As far as communications, I use the phone/text and other websites where I can privately message. As I said before, I don't need everyone to be looking over our conversations or issues.
I made a him myspace once he used it once in awhile but we were and still are good at saving little things to talk about when it was time Gor that phone call.
I think sometimes reading everything your SO is feeling isn't a good thing.
I love being honest but some times its best share only certain things at one given moment.
Xo
Depends on the topic really for me. In some things I enjoy IM better because often I can organize my thoughts on paper easier than vocally. But phone conversations help me understand more of the other person's reaction and get across my point easier because of vocal inflection/tone. And the whole social blogging thing to let your SO know what's going on is ridiculous. Yes I love blogging, but if I put something up about my personal life, I can promise you my SO already knows about it and we've talked about it for a while.
I think my favorite relationship was when we rarely had computer access and we relied on the several txts throughout the day and 2-3 phone calls. Nothing like hearing your SO's ringer going off on your phone.
I remember those days. Ahh. But... personally I prefer to meet in person. Second to that is txt/IM. Phone is pretty much last on my list. Social sites are good for leaving notes, like if you absolutely can't get a hold of the person any other way... telephone is for desperate, desperate measures in my world.
Anyway, I'm much funnier in person.
I use the phone with faraway family, which is all of them. Most of my friends are close by, so I have actual conversations with them in person, reserving technological means for brief messages. IM, Facebook and MySpace should not be a primary means of knowing someone, but I do use them to keep in touch with people I'm not terribly close with. It's just so... cheap. I miss simplicity...
I definitely prefer the phone. Im-ing and everything else like that seems so impersonal.
I prefer the phone but my boyfriend isn't really a phone person, although he's definitely come a long way & now calls me more than I call him. However, since I'm in a long distance relationship, we see each other less frequently.. I'd say once every 3-4 months but even then I'm not entirely sure [it's only just begun]. The only methods of communication we have are phone, email/IM [more specifically googletalk], & most recently webcam! :) Webcam might possibly be a new preference for me as we don't waste minutes & we can see each other when we talk. It's always easier to see the other party when you talk.. the better to gauge their thoughts & feelings. Email/IM is definitely very impersonal..
none of the above... as far as talking to my boyfriend is concerned i like to talk to him in person.
i'm only okay on the phone with my best friend... and that's because he insisted on calling me everyday until i was comfortable with it. i really hate calling people on the phone, and i have a sort of phonephobia... i've brought myself to tears because i wanted to call someone but couldn't bring myself to, it was awful. >_<;;
other than that, i text him to ask something impersonal, like where he is or if he's awake yet. for the most part, i really do prefer just talking in person. there's so many small body language cues that you just can't percieve over the phone... and even when you're on the phone there's other things that can distract you.
and this is probably why long distance relationships don't work so well for me. :P
I prefer using the phone. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I want to call him before I go to sleep, but just lets me do it anyways, even if he doesn' t have much to say.
I hate the internet and/or waiting for when he alt-tabs out of games to reply to me, 5-10 minutes later =/
My ex girlfriend was quite far from me, we both weren't english-speaking persons (as mothertongue) and msn-chat become a very useful way to communicate without misunderstandings.
Our phone calls have been obviously reduced a lot by this software and, being a phone-hater was a positive thing to me, even if, of course, I loved to hear her laugh and voice before going to bed.
So my experience tells me that it helped us knowing each other somehow better than dating on usual way.
But, how envious I was to "normal", side-by-side, and no-msn-needing-to-communicate couples!
And that is why my xanga is a secret from everyone in my life. Too much drama.
But I think even moreso than the internet, texting is ruining dating. I've written about this a couple of times (and had people jump down my throat for it!). But it's like people don't talk to each other anymore! Even if they do pick up the phone, they're texting instead of calling.
@hopelessromantic - yeah I had to learn the hard way about the xanga stuff.
@ThePhilsBlogBar@xanga - forgot about the letter, post card thing. My sister does that with her BF now. I should take that up in the future
@AllMyNamesAreTaken@xanga - then I must be desperate if i use the phone? lol
D. Bring it all on! :)
@ThePhilsBlogBar@xanga - I got in the habit of writing letters when I dated a guy in the army. It was actually really pleasant. I wish people would do it more often.
i didn't read the whole thing but i know the story. I don't know if internet is ruining dating, but let me tell you what is: texting. We will have a socially impaired generation because of it. People don't talk on the phone, or face-to-face because they know they can avoid confrontations by texting. It's so childish.
I pick F. All of the above and texting. Although, the best way to get communicated with me is through AIM since I am deaf and can't hear my phone nor feel it. I like being with people and seeing them talk and watching them laughing, yet I like being on IMs because it lets me multitask. Do homework and talk to my friends.
My ex and I both had xangas. I never really wrote anything that happened with out relationship because I knew he'd be reading it.
I prefer AIM because that way I can always edit myself with what my responses are... it's usually a good thing in my case :)
~Maleka
instant messaging/texting's way easier to be secretive about it but i definitely prefer phone if i can't see him in person
the internet isn't the problem, its the people. people are ruining dating by rushing into relationships with people they meet on dating sites and such, without really getting to know them
I definitely went from 'A' to 'E' lol
interesting post! i've always thought ... the internet & everything it has to offer expanded the meaning of "dating" & "relationships.