This is a guest blog submitted by two_days_until_forever.Actually, don't answer that right away. Think about it for a minute.
In middle school, my celebrity crush was Drake Bell. For some
strange reason or secret law of nature, I became attracted to musicians
or guys who could make me laugh (I never found the perfect combination
of the two, though). I would date the guitarist or the guy who would
make me laugh so hard that I couldn't breathe, and it all worked out
for me.
I never thought twice at the time that a potential reason could
be the fact that I considered Drake Bell to be my ideal guy, that I could
be subconsciously searching for someone similar to him. I just thought
those two traits were a part of my preferred "type".
When my type changed in high school, I realized that my celebrity
crush had also changed. I will omit his name and simply describe him:
he's a bad boy with a rocker edge, some tattoos and a few piercings. He
is also a musician, but my interest in the musical non-celebrity men
had faded. I started crushing on and pursuing the bad boys of school:
the ones who don't mind breaking the rules and having a record of being suspended from school.
The one guy that keeps coming
to mind actually does have a few tattoos and a sole piercing. In
fact, I just messaged him today to ask if he had switched out of the
class we share together and discovered his recent absences were due to
a suspension. It may be a little surprising that I am attracted to this type -
I'm a religious "good girl" who participates in several
extra-curricular activities and strives for excellent grades in school.
But, somehow, I'm attracted to bad boys at the moment.
Couple of questions: Do you think
my changing types are simply coincidence, or that my celebrity crushes
influence the kind of men I am attracted to? Does your celebrity crush
influence your real-life dating standards, and did you ever consider this
to be a possibility until now?
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Comments (27)
No, I don't associate my celeb crushes with my real life crushes.
I had never thought of it, but I guess it could make sense.
I had to laugh at your tale of crushing on "bad boys" while being a religious "good girl" yourself. I can relate. In my classes everybody knows me as the "good girl" but often the guys I would end up hanging out with were the extremely eclectic guys or had the "bad boy" image. None though were true rebels. They just looked the part. Maybe it's an opposites attract thing? Or just the feeling and excitement of being in something that before was "banned." Though I have to say they never turned into serious relationships. While it was fun and exciting to hang out and flirt with them, the good guys were always the ones that got my heart.
I just think that if you can't find a musician who makes you laugh, you obviously don't understand musician humor; We're the craziest people I know.
If your celebrity crush does effect who you're crushing on, I would go far enough to say that you will never be satisfied with the actual flesh and blood person in front of you. Also, in relation to badasses, most celebrity badasses are actually really nice people, whereas most of the real badasses are just...jerks. Something to keep in mind.
Besides, tattoos, piercings, and getting in trouble at school doesn't make some one a badass. It just makes them self-destructive. When I think of badasses, I think of House M.D., who has a fucking medical degree for chrissakes. Badass is a mentality, not some superficial style and a criminal record.
I think you might be persuaded by different media(not just celebrities). I could really careless about celebrities. I think some celebrities can be cute, but those are a few. Even then, I never think of them as crushes. Being cute doesn't make you have a crush on someone. It can happen, but it's not my case. I just want a girl who can understand me, have fun, respect my choices, be strong, etc.
My celebrity crush was Jason Behr, star of the teen alien drama Roswell... That explains why I want a guy with superpowers so bad!!!!
Haha no just kidding. But it did give me really high standards for finding a guy who was uber caring and kind. Maybe a little mysterious. Never found him though. Almost did once but not quite.
I don't know... but I do know that I refuse to date anyone who doesn't have a resemblence to James McAvoy
I guess you can have a certain type based on celebrities. I don't think I have celebrity crushes. I do realize that some celebrities can be pretty, cute, etc. However, physical attraction isn't everything. They might even be kind, but I just don't have crushes like that. What's a definition of a crush? It can be anything you want it to be. Regardless, I go with the flow, and if I do like someone, then I'll go from there. I don't expect them to be like someone else. I do have the hots for strong women..haha but that's not everything(other qualities make great additions too)
Love, peace, and chicken grease!
i'm not sure if it's a matter of your celebrity crush or just your 'type' in general, but being a "good girl" going after "bad guys" seems like you're used to a sheltered sort of life and you're seeking your thrills by looking for a bad boy who will break you out of your good girl mode. or maybe you're just looking to change him.
either way, i'd be careful. the "bad boys" that seem so attractive could get you into trouble and cause a lot of unwanted drama between your family and cause you to lose sight of a lot of the things that are important to you.
i guess we're just different girls. i've never had a crush on a boy cos he reminded me of my fave celebs. i'm a punk, and rise against are my fave band...i don't think i'd go for that type oif guy...but if we have like inetrests and tastes, and he's cute and funny, then we're game! ^^
No, I don't. I didn't have much celebrity crushes because I don't let the media and how they look at life effect the way I look at it. Sure Tom Welling is hot, but that is all he is, gorgeous. Not saying that the man doesn't have a brain. I agree with FireMapleSong, "You may never be satisfied with the flesh and blood in front of you." Just how you weren't satisfied not finding an exact Drake Bell.
@breakingthemold - I think it could be the science of opposites attracting. I'm not really against most of the trouble the bad boys that I crush on, though; it doesn't really phase me. I'm still in high school, so I have time to find something serious if the bad boys don't last! Thanks for the comment; I really appreciate it!
@FireMapleSong@xanga - Well, I was in middle school when I dated the musicians! The concept of middle school dating is so ridiculous to begin with, and all of the musicians of that age were the darkly sensitive and emotional types. A sense of humor went against their image. I assume that you are a musician then?
Reading all of these comments, I think it would have been wiser to say that my celebrity crushes set the mood for the type of men I pursue at the time. I was never unsatisfied when dating these men; they possesed some sort of trait that matched up with my 'fantasy ideal.' I never expected them to be Drake Bell or what not; I just found myself favoring men that had certain characteristics of those celebrities. I would say it would be like me having a crush on a celebrity with blue hair and then dating a guy with blue hair and being happy in that relationship, although he is not the celebrity where the attraction to blue hair came from.
The "bad boys" aren't necessarily "badass." They have tattoos, piercings, and reputations, but when I talk to them they're typically very sweet and respectful.
Thank you for your feedback, though! I appreciate reading your thoughts very much!
@hopelessromantic - You set your standards based upon your celebrity crush, correct?
@xwolfae@xanga - No, I wouldn't consider myself sheltered. I have a lot of exposure, despite being religious. I have had many opportunities where I could have strayed from my good girl roots, but decided to stay here. This is who I am and want to be. I don't see the point in attempting to change men either. I believe in liking people for who they are. I just see beyond the bad boy exterior. The thing is most of the men I like just happen to have that exterior.
My mother is also very open-minded so I don't think bringing home one of the bad boys would be an issue if she believed he was treating me the right way and allowing me to be true to myself (I wouldn't date him otherwise!). Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@kiwi_greenie@xanga - We're all entitled to our own opinions and observations. But good for you that you can tell when the "game" is on! Thanks for the comment!
@two_days_until_forever@xanga - I wrote a blog post about it right after I wrote that comment.
http://weblog.datingish.com/breakingthemold/674787679/harmonious-discord---the-good-girlbad-boy-couple.html
Comment and tell me what you think!
@breakingthemold - I commented on there as well, but it was a fantastic entry!
I've never had a celebrity crush so I couldn't tell you.
@two_days_until_forever@xanga - I did until I realized that he didn't exist...
Not really. I figured that even though I like him, he &people like him probably wouldn't like me back. So my past crushes ¤t bf are totally different from my celebrity obsessions.
But dang that guy in that blog is cute.
@two_days_until_forever@xanga - haha, not accusing you of anything, either... i'm catholic, and i'm pretty grounded in that, and i don't think there's anything wrong with it. just that the last guy i dated, without even getting me to do "bad things" ended up getting me in trouble a lot by trying to convince me to go out when my parents didn't want me to, and keeping me out past my curfew... personal experience. :P
personally, i'd choose a sense of humor over all else, but that's just me. :x
I love Drake Bell! ;D
My celebrity crushes were never serious enough to affect my real-life crushes.
Yea I think the celebrity you are crushing on currently does affect who you are looking for in real life. If not completely, then in some way subconsciously. Now that I think about it, the guys that I tend to like do have some similarities to the celebrities I like. But in the end, they're all still boys. Just because they're a celebrity doesn't make them a different species. So you can end up liking a boy with similar characteristics as the celebrity. It's just like liking two regular boys with some or many similarities.
Did that make sense? LOL
Lovely story. (And I used to like Drake Bell too. xD)
Anyway. You pose a really good point -- perhaps sometimes it does make a slight influence in our decisions. But hopefully not everything, right?
A silly comparison, however.
I like Jude Law.
I'm a teacher's assist for one of my favorite teachers, who looks just like Jude Law.
I like him too.
Hahaha.
@hopelessromantic - Well, maybe you just haven't met him yet, or you're still undecided of what you really are looking for!
@stoopidxemilie@xanga - You never know for sure! That's Drake Bell! I still find him cute, although I wouldn't say I have a crush on him anymore.
@xwolfae@xanga - Well, then I appreciate your "been there, done that" caution for me! :)
@saxy_grrl@xanga - Who doesn't?
@ALMOST_Spankyyy@xanga - I agree with you completely and that did make sense!
@frzndreams951@xanga - Thank you! You have good taste then. ;) I don't think it's controlling enough to where people that are affected demand clone copies of the celebrities at all! I think it's just being aware of particular characteristics. Well, that's not surprising, but I can't blame you! That would be more of a physical characteristic, though.
i dont have no celb crush.:(