Tuesday, 09 September 2008
-
Dear Flirt...
This is a guest blog submitted by lovesporks.dear boys,
it has come to my attention that there has been a lot of flirting coming from you directed at me. what i do not understand is the following:
a. why are you flirting with me when you have a girlfriend?
now, i don't know you have a girlfriend. and you know i don't know you have a girlfriend. but just because i don't know does not mean it is okay for you to flirt with me. because due to my lack of knowledge, i will flirt back. but the last thing i need is to be murdered because i became a homewrecker for flirting with a taken person!
b. so, that crazy ex-girlfriend is still in your life, eh?
i'm flattered that you've decided to take me on a date. really, i am. and i'm so incredibly flustered around you after the second date. but why is it by the third date, your crazy-ex girlfriend comes back into the picture, you have a good time with her, and get back together with her?what am i, chopped liver?
c. wait, so that's your girlfriend?
let me return to point a. you have a girlfriend. but i don't know you have a girlfriend. i won't find out you have a girlfriend until quite possibly two or three amazing conversations, then you hunt me down on facebook and friend request me. thrilled that you took the effort to find me, i am only disappointed when i see you have a girlfriend.
i will then meet your girlfriend, only to find that she is either:
drop dead gorgeous, even my mouth is dropping at her complete beauty. of course you'd never want a thing like me.
completely ugly, where did her paper bag go?but to my dismay, they are both incredible bitches. not only do they immediately hate me, but they treat you like shit. pushing you around, constantly nagging you, and not accepting your cute gestures in any way.
thus leading me to the next point.
d. why am i never good enough?
you say all of these cute things, you make me feel like i'm the world, you lead me on, and then you go for another girl. or worse, you cheat on me when we actually are a "thing".so i get it, i'm that girl that is, maybe, looked at once, but doesn't receive the second glance. i'm the girl walking in the background, completely unnoticed.
i understand that i'm not that pretty. okay, thanks. you boost my self-esteem sky high, boy, but i'm glad to know that i'm not even the ugly bitch that can steal your heart.
where do i go from here? it only drags me down every time you do this to me, boys. once was okay. twice, not so much. the third time and more? it doesn't get fun.
please stop playing with my heart. i'd greatly appreciate it.
signed,
incredibly frustrated and annoyed girl.Have you ever seriously flirted with someone while you were involved in a relationship?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (62)
No way. Im completely loyal when in a relationship.
Dont fall to quickly. Dont let them have too much power over you.
I HATE people that do that! It drives me crazy. I had a guy once who I actually knew had a girlfriend and he was still flirting with me. It was hard not to flirt back because I had a crush on him, but I managed it. His girlfriend heard he was flirting with me and tried to ruin me over it, even though I hadn't done ANYTHING.
I don't flirt when I'm in a relationship. If I feel like flirting with someone else I know the relationship I'm in isn't working. I either fix it or break it off, but I'm always loyal while I'm in a relationship/
I wouldn't flirt with someone else if I'm in a relationship. It's
almost like I'm cheating...though it wouldn't say it's cheating. Hmm,
this is pretty complicated. It wouldn't feel right.
I wouldn't flirt with someone else while I'm in a relationship. If I'm with them it's because I want them and only them, not someone else.
i think we're twins, honestly
Ugh, why do guys do this? Why? Major props girl, I know what you mean.Â
I have had way too man run-ins with B! I figure it's just easier for a guy to go back to someone they've already dated because that means they don't have to put any effort into trying to get to know someone new.
I think if someone needs to flirt, then there's something lacking in their relationship that they're not getting.. hence, the relationship should end 'cause they're not meant to be together. I don't think flirting is ever acceptable when in a relationship. I love my boyfriend & why would I need to look otherwise when I've got all I need right in front of me? :)
wow, guess women gets played too eh? I feel for ya... I hate being played, haha.
Flirting is fun. I don't mind... just light ones only :)
A. I don't flirt when I'm in a relationship. It's worse than murder in my book.
B. Guys don't know how to push the right buttons on you like they do their exes. It takes weeks, months, or even years of dating a girl to get to the point we were at with our ex, but it takes one date to get back on track with her. It sucks, which is why you should go ahead and mark your territory early on :)
C. Guys and girls get hooked on "falling in love". It's something that lasts for up to 2 years, but not usually that long. By then, you either move on to a more important step in your relationship, or you begin to wonder "why did I fall in love with this creep?" That's when you start flirting with someone else. Sucks, but it happens.
D. That truly sucks for you. I don't think you're bad looking, though you're probably too young for me. You are good enough, and when you start believing that, maybe those loser guys will stop taking advantage of you.
Those guys do deserve punishment, but it's not legal to use battery acid that way.
>_
It drives me crazy when I find out guys who seem to be flirting have girlfriends. A little bit of flirting is okay, but heavy flirting is not.Argh,
i've been on your site before & i think you're a lovely person !! [and, if it counts for anything, which it shouldn't anyway, but i think you are soooo pretty !!] and a guy who's gonna let you down in any of them ways isn't worth it, honestly !! you're way up there on the awesome-scale, and i can guarantee you that one day the right person who'll appreciate you for who you are will come along ... definitely !! xD
Well, seems that you never found the right guy . . . or at least a nice guy. But we all know nice guys finish last . . . unless you can change that. But anyways, there was the one time I did flirt while in a relationship. However, this was back in the early days of high school and of course, I didn't know any better. Since then, I have never done it.
But, you just got to be able to read guys. Most of them are jerks, but I will guarantee you will find some of the most awesome boys ever.
Yes, I have flirted. Yes, I do occasionally flirt. Even my boyfriend has been known to flirt. No, there is not something "wrong with" or "lacking in" our relationship as so many other people have commented here. I'm sure that everyone's flirted with someone not their SO, whether it's intentional or not. Quite honestly, how else can you find out if you have chemistry with someone you may want to date if you don't flirt with people? Don't generalize because it is YOUR belief that it is "wrong," "cheating," or "worse than murder".
That said, flirting did almost ruin my relationship once but because my boyfriend and I wanted to make it work, we did. Sometimes we still hit rough spots, but that doesn't mean that we love each other any less. And it certainly doesn't mean that I or him need to go looking elsewhere for a relationship.
The key to flirting is not acting on your gestures or going overboard with it. If you honestly feel the need to act on a desire with another person, then yeah, maybe you should end the relationship you're in if desire is overwhelming your rational. Giving in will hurt everyone involved - you, your SO, and your object of affection.
Back to the post, however - I'm sorry that you've been used and abused by the male species. One day though you'll find the right guy that doesn't have an ever-present ex or a girlfriend and WILL make you feel like you are the best thing that's ever happened to him. Sure it takes a lot of waiting and some mistakes, but he's out there. If nothing else, branch out! Go to a meeting or club, talk to the new kid in class, get involved in your dorm or college campus. He could be waiting somewhere right under your nose, waiting for you to discover him =]
Hmm... maybe you should also read "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov. I've also recommended this book to other bloggers on here hahaha. This book really opened up my eyes when it came to relationships. Dont fret! I just got out of a 10 yr relationship and I'm in no rush to get married or meet mr. RIGHT... just mr RIGHT NOW.
You're really not doing anything wrong by flirting with these boys that are "toying" with your heart. But once you do find out that they have a gf, its time to cut them loose, IMMEDIATELY!!!! Better to have no strings attached than to linger around and deal w/ any "drama" that comes along with it. No matter where you go or who you meet, people will always flirt. It's flattering, it makes the person feel good, feel powerful, feel "attractive".... thats why we do it. As long as you don't act upon it... I'd say, just let it be! GOOD LUCK!
i don't think there's anything wrong with flirting as long as you know the intent. i'll flirt with guys even if i'm not going to give him a shot (i.e. the cute bartender, hot co-worker, etc...). just non-serious, fun, light flirting. not that serious stuff.
however... if we've gone on a date or two and then the gf discovery is made, there's not even going to be a friendship out of this. i don't care if she's a bitch. i don't care if she's fugly. if she's his girl he should never have asked me out in the first place!
i guess the way i do it is i keep all guys at quite a distance (several arms lengths) so that even after a few weeks of dating, he still wouldn't be close enough to matter if i discovered that he was a lying, taken-man. so i just get to throw my tantrum, tell him he's an asshole, and walk away without any heartache. but that's just me.
most guys are dogs.
with my last girlfriend
she said i was a flirt even though i never really noticed
apparently the way i act is like flirting
even towards other guys hahaha
she never minded it though
she just thought it was funny that i was flirting with guys
even though i wasn't haha
ps: me and her are still friends
she named me flirt on her phone
but her current boyfriend got jealous and made her change it
I was just in this situation a couple of weeks ago. The thing is that I don't know if that flirting had any meaning behind it. My friend and I have been friends over years and until recently, I had noticed that he was really affectionate towards me and not to any of his other girl friends. He had a gf, of course. But I don't know. He was confusing. The worst part about it all was not knowing whether or not anything real was behind the flirting so yeah. Now, he's talking to his girl that I don't like and I've just backed off of the whole situation because I don't want to put our friendship in jeopardy. Anyway, I am totally lost too. I haven't seriously flirted with anyone while in a relationship, I was the one the guy seriously flirted with. I admit, though, that I did flirt back. I'm a friendly flirter but I never take it further than jokes and the usual friend stuff.
Frist I want to say I love this part
"drop dead gorgeous, even my mouth is dropping at her complete beauty. of course you'd never want a thing like me.
completely ugly, where did her paper bag go?"
and Wanted to know if you would mind me useing it on my myspace ?
Anyways back to the subject on hand: Most guys && girls Flirt without even knowing it!! it's just in their personality On the other Hand the same thing seems to happen to me all the time! Some guy Starts flirting with me: Makeing me feel 100% amazing about myself, Then just drops me and gose back to his ex Like I was never there. like nothing ever happen'd anyways my advice is lose the zeros and find you a hero. (HAHAHA)
ღSeventeen && Missunderstood
I never have and never will. I'm pretty happy with my girlfriend, and the only people I tease are like girls that I think of as my sisters. Guys who keep leading on girls are stupid. Break up with your current girlfriend if you're not happy and move on.
You should really get to know the person before making a any moves.
If you don't love/like that person, you need to break up with them. You might end up hurting them, but you'll end up more by utilizing them as some toy while you're goofing off with someone else. Make them a favor, and go off with your flirty self somewhere.
i know the writer didn't ask for remarks, but i'm going to do it anyway.
first off, i'm sorry that you're in such a crappy situation, whatever the reason may be. you seem like a nice girl so i hope your run of bad luck ends soon. (i wouldn't be saying the same if i thought you were a bitch.)
okay, that being said, i find it difficult to believe that this has happened to you with every guy that's hit on you (unless you live in socal, in which case i'm not the least bit surprised). but okay, let's suppose it's true. maybe you're meeting guys in the wrong places? i tend to be out and about by myself a lot during the day, and i can't even begin to tell you how much i wish i'd meet a nice girl in some random place like a restaurant or bookstore or whatever. and for the record, i'm not one of the types you listed above.
the funny thing is, i always hear girls complaining about how there's no decent guys out there...while at the same time, there are plenty of guys complaining about how all the decent girls obsess themselves with crappy guys. (i'm not saying this is you, by the way.) with so many people in both parties, i can't help but wonder what the problem is.
anyway, one last thought. the types of guys that have been hitting on you don't do so unless they think you're attractive, so don't feel too bad! (and for what it's worth, judging from your picture i can't really say they're off the mark.) don't let the constant attention make you cocky either though, cause once you do that you lose any and all chances of getting with a decent guy.