This is a guest blog submitted by sleepyhead.My sister and I got into a lengthy discussion about
watching chick flicks with our SOs this weekend. She says she doesn't like many
chick flicks because they give an unrealistic view of romantic men,
when in real life it's hard to find someone like that.
According to
her, movies like this only make women more bitter and resentful toward men for not
being "romantic" enough. I understand her point of view and agree
somewhat. Many women do look at these movies and then complain why
their boyfriends can't be like that. Maybe that's why so many women drag
their SO's to these movies; they want to force their SOs to become
like the men on screen!
I
don't really complain when I go to watch a chick flick with my
girlfriend and never really have, unless the movie is horrendous or is
a musical. I always took it as an opportunity to get interested in
things she might like. If I'm there listening and interested instead
of sulking and complaining, I can use that to my advantage later on.
What girl doesn't love a guy surprising them with something they said
they liked?
So I look at the chick flick movie experience
differently than my sister. She's never forced her BF to see one,
unless it's a "can't miss" romantic comedy or romantic drama (honestly, "can't
miss" movies are hard to come by anyway). I don't really care; it's
just a movie to me and I try to take something out of it if I can. If
not then I try to enjoy it as much as I can, even though sometimes it's
very difficult.
Do women develop unrealistic expectations after watching chick flicks?
Guys, do you complain about watching chick flicks with your SOs?
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Comments (48)
You've got the attitude most girls would want their significant others to have when watching chick flicks. My boyfriend's probably a mix; sometimes he'll take me out to a chick flick that he thinks he'd enjoy & other times he'd grumble about them.
For myself, I think chick flicks create such unrealistic expectations of relationships but I usually don't mind watching it 'cause I know it's silly & that kind of stuff doesn't usually happen in real life. However, I avoid it completely when I'm going through a rough patch in my relationship 'cause it just makes me blech & bitter.
mmm... maybe.
for me, i just feel wistful and wish that someday i'll have a great relationship like that.
i go to chick flicks as a form of entertainment, just like any other movie. i am one of those hopeful romantic guys and like treating my so in that way. but i find the women take it way to for granted. they say they want that romantic stuff, but when it comes right down to it...? i get the non excited ho hum. maybe i just have not found the right woman to appreciate it? i had one gf say after watching something in a movie that she thought it was a cool thing what the man did in the movie. i reminded her that i had done something simular and got the "oh yeh..i forgot" answer. go figure! i guess us guys are just damned if we do and damned if we dont.
Sometimes I watch a chick flick and I sigh to myself thinking sometimes I wish my boyfriend would give me that kind of astounding attention.
Then I realized how unrealistic it is, and how I'm actually just happy with how my boyfriend treats me now.. I think more that I'm lucky.
But you do get the little "aw why don't you say THAT to me?" attitude after.
I don't mind watching them as long as the girl doesn't have unrealistic expectations. After all, that's why it's called a movie! I do get some good ideas from movies, though...
I don't really mind watching them. They're interesting and it's another way to spend time with my SO. I do complain about watching them, but only jokingly to her. Besides, there's nothing wrong with cuddling during a film that doesn't have explosions and death.
You know I don't mind chick flicks, one reason is it gives me ideas on where I may be lacking in a relationship. How to be more romantic. Second, and this is the selfish part, they usually have the actresses I like to go see.
I can't really say whether or not it builds unrealistic expectations.
I wouldn't watch one by myself.
But with an "SO" you bet I would. Why? Because it is more time that I get to spend with her.
I personally wouldn't watch most of the chick flicks because I don't like how unrealistic they are... but I gotta admit, I do sometimes wish my bf would do or say things like the guy in the movie lol. My bf actually said to me that we should watch more chick flicks since I always tend to choose crazy action movies hehe
Sure, chick flicks are unrealistic... but I don't watch movies for reality :) I don't think I'd force a guy to watch one, though.
Disney started with the unrealistic expectations, forget chick flicks.
I like watching chick flicks cause though I know it's unrealistic, it gives me ideas on romantic dates and the like.
Plus... there are romantic guys out there like that...
I always wonder why guys can't be like that romantic after a romantic drama. But those kinda guys are one in a million in real life.
I never complain to my SO about chick flicks while I'm watching them, because it's hard to complain when you're cuddled up on the couch or in the movie theater. I let my women know ahead of time that chick flicks aren't necessarily my thing, but I'll watch those things with them, because I care.
Hm. Well, if you watch A Walk To Remember... I was like why aren't guys that thoughtful and romantic??
But then you snap back to reality and realize how amazing your own bf is. So it honestly doesn't affect me longterm.
Plus my boy doesn't mind going to see chick flicks with me either. It's endearing. And plus it's fun to share moments like that together.
@haloed@xanga - i like a guy to have me up there on the priority list, but if i got that kind of attention i wouldn't be able to breathe...
don't get me wrong, i love chick flicks, but i wouldn't make a guy see one if he didn't really want to. that's what girlfriends are for. girls night out anyone?
i go with boys to action/adventure flicks lol
who cares if they are not realistic?
you feel happy after watching one or it gives you a good laugh.
that is what matters most
i think i enjoy a chick flick just as much as my gf. yes she does complain from time to time asking why i could be like "that guy", but most of the time she's just joking since she knows that whatever happened in that flick is unrealistic.
i would never go watch a chick flick with a bunch of guys, that's just gay.
i know it's unrealistic, and that "happy endings" don't really ever happen, but sometimes it's nice to watch something that makes you feel good. i read romance novels for the same reason, and watch action, sci-fi, or fantasy movies (or read books), too. if you're going to the movies or watching tv for realism, you're going to be disappointed when you don't have any similar experiences in real life, but if you remember it's a movie, it's cool.
i can't watch too many of them in a row, though, because then i'll get all depressed about not having a SO to do cutesy things with, even though i probably wouldn't do any of those things if i did. and i don't usually go TO the movies to see a chick flick, (but i usually don't go TO the theater anyway) unless a group of friends is going, but i'll watch them on tv as a guilty pleasure. ^_^
I used to hate chick flicks, because like you I thought it's an unrealistic portrayal of romance. But ever since I met my boyfriend, I LOVE chick flicks. Now it just reminds me of him which makes me gush and smile every single time.
Men like those movies do exist!!
Yes, women do develop unrealistic expectations, but those expectations are mostly unrealistic because they are hardly drop-dead gorgeous, smart, witty, kind heroines themselves.
My boyfriend is better than any chick flick hero, and I love him to death. I have a real relationship that, even after nearly 3 years, still gives me butterflies every time I think of him. I want people to realize that fiction is FICTION, and men like that don't just drop into your lap. You have to find them!
I don't develop unrealistic expectations, simply because I am aware of the fact that it's just a MOVIE. However, I do rather enjoy watching chick flicks, and I try to get my boyfriend to watch them (the good ones) with me.
He's the pushover in our relationship and lets me have my way most of the time, but he says watching chick flicks is something HE JUST CAN't DO! lol. But I guess that's fine. He's the polar opposite of the types portrayed in movies, so I don't think he'd change at all.
Not only chick flicks but Disney as well. It started when we were two!
I don't mind watching chick flicks at all, in fact you could say I enjoy them. I'm a drama fan, so yes I watch stuff like Grey's, Gossip Girl, 90210 etc
Aside from this, I know of a few guys who use the whole chick flick thing as a make out session -_-