Dr. Datingish
I've been dating my boyfriend for about six months now and moved in with
him at about the four month mark, more out of desperation than
anything else.
I admit it, I've cheated on him recently and know I want to get out of the
relationship, so I've been looking at apartments, but how do I break the news
to him?
Do I tell him now that I'm looking for a new place and risk
being kicked out? Or do I continue to pretend that I'm invested in the
relationship until I can actually move out? I don't want to hurt him,
but he's not right for me. What do I do?
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Comments (34)
spare him the torture already
If you have a place you could stay in case he kicks you out, then i'd say tell him now. Otherwise, find a place asap and when you have it confirmed, break the news to him. You dont want to be left on the street....
if he's been a jerk to you then wait until you have a place, but if you're the one being a jerk, which I think you are, crash at a friends place until you find your own. That's not fair to him at all.
Tell him the truth. You're only hurting him more by lying to him. Tell him you still care about him, but he's not right for you. Ask his forgiveness, and if he's too hurt to forgive you I suggest you move in with a friend. Cheating is pretty bad in my opinion, it's the same thing as being stabbed in the back. But, cheating, and lying about it until you get what you've been searching for is unacceptable. It's low, no, it's lower than low. I apologize if I sound mean saying this, but it's the truth.
Oh gosh. Set something up with a friend and tell him. He needs to know before he gets more attached to you.
Wow. :\ You should just come out with it and tell him.
If you're not satisfied with the relationship, just tell him before it gets any worse. You're only hurting yourself if you stay and it hurts even more when you lie to him. :\ Cheating doesn't help much, either. -_-
I'd say start looking for a place now, and when you have everything set, talk to him about it. It's not fair to him at all. :\
unless he's treated you badly or isn't a good boyfriend to you, you should tell him upfront and be honest. otherwise you will be the selfish bad guy here.
Tell him. It seems that you are only using him anyhow since you mentioned that you only moved in with him out of desperation. Now you are afraid he will kick you out if you tell him you are no longer interested. Sounds like you need to be responsible and find your own place to live. Maybe the guy you cheated on him with will let you move in with him? In my opinion he SHOULD kick you out.
I commend you for being honest with us.....but youre a terrible person!!!!!
Not only have you cheated and betrayed his trust, you used him, And youre still being selfish!!!! Do you have any remorse?! You should sooooo be ashamed of yourself. ::shakes head:::
What you need to do as a rightful human being is get with a dear friend and ask to stay at their house for a couple weeks till you find a new place. In the mean time...which is within a few days.....think of what you are going to say and tell him the truth! How would you feel if he did that to you? My goodness! What would your parents say to you? Your grandma?? Your little sister??? How about Jesus?! ( or Buddha)
You've blatently been using him, and you definitely haven't respected him much at all.
I don't believe in the fact that you even care about his feelings. You just don't wanna "hurt" him so you have somewhere to live. If you actually cared, you wouldn't have cheated on him.
If you really wanna redeem yourself, you should be completely honest with him. Now is as good as any time to break the news. Don't do any more pretending. And if you're really desperate to look for a place to live, you're gonna have to stay at someone else's house. You don't really expect him to let you stay after you've dumped him, right?
wow.. feel bad for the guy... ppl should be honest... that's the foundation of any relationship....
just tell him already....
@dafeelingsinside@xanga - good advice.
@ThinkAchieve@xanga - Lol it seems I'm the only one who realizes that at the end of the day, you have to protect yourself first.....We all make mistakes and have to come to terms with them on our own but puttin urself in a position to be homeless is never smart....
what comes around goes around.
@dafeelingsinside@xanga - I agree, this whole altruism thing is getting ridiculous. Sometimes you just have to stop and realize that you're living for you, and not some other person.
That being said, cheating is a terrible thing and yeah you should probably tell him that you're not committed to the relationship. But do it after you have found a place to live. I hear the sidewalk's not that nice a place to live.
Try to find someone else to stay with, but in the meantime, don't keep leading him on like everything is okay: tell him now. I'd like to think he wouldn't put you on the street immediately, but there's a distinct possibility that he will...
ok well, i know im going to differ from most people but telling him that you cheated really is just a way to absolve yourself of guilt and it'll hurt him even more so don't tell him. what you did wasn't the greatest thing but its good that you know you want to get out of the relationship and don't want to continue a lie. so just tell him that you really aren't committed to the relationship (which you aren't) and that he isn't the right guy for you (which he isn't). Find a place quickly, or crash with a friend. it's better to get out of the relationship now instead of faking for any longer.
It doesn't matter if he's treated you badly - cheating isn't acceptable and neither is deceiving him because it's more convenient for you. Find a place another place to stay immediately and be honest with him.
Get out asap.
I'm not going to sit here and say how horrible you are because people make mistakes but at the same time it's just not fair to him.Moving in with someone is a big, big step that shouldn't be taken lightly at all that early on in a relationship.
I hope you can find a place to crash asap until you can move out and tell him the truth. Better for him to hear form you than from someone else while you're still there.
Find someone that will let you stay with them for a month or three. Then end it.
not now, wait until you have an apartment to settle in. you dont know what is gonna happen to him or to you. he may lose his senses when it comes to a totally unexpected situation. besides, what is supposed to be like when you have broken the news to him but havent moved out yet? it would be really awkward and weird
be sincere when you tell him about the whole situation. it's gonna hurt him real bad. you don't want to make it any worse
wow. i would kick you out.
i say go stay with a friend. the longer you stay there the messier it will get. you know you don't want to be with him and so staying there is unfair to him. he'll probably get more attached and it would be more difficult for both parties to break it off later.
4 months, tell him hey i think we moved too fast and you're not ready for this. sorry, you got caught up in the moment.
@dafeelingsinside@xanga - make sure you have somewhere to go, then get out.