This question was submitted by a Datingish reader.I've always wondered how much time the average couple spends hanging
out or talking on the phone. I've seen everything from seeing each
other every day, to nothing but a phone call every other week. So I'm
just curious to hear what everyone else's opinion is on how much time
couples should spend with each other.
My boyfriend and I talk
every night on the phone, and see each other about every two weeks,
because he lives in another town. I'm not sure if that's normal or not.
Does it depend on how much you
like each other, how much space you need, etc.?
Comments (56)
Well, we both go to the same university, so now we see each other everyday. But during summer, for three months, we couldn't see each each other at all, because she doesn't live close to me. We talked on the phone maybe three times all summer, probably a half hour each time. Our main form of communication was AIM. But again, now we see each other everyday. When we're not in class, we're together.
In my current relationship we had to be apart for 2 years while he went to school across the country. We talked to each other pretty much any chance we could get. Whether it was on the phone or IMing. So much so that it was almost like having him with me the whole time with out him actually being there with me. I feel like thats what made us last through it enough to where we are now living together and talking about getting married.
I think phone usage really depends on the relationship. I see my SO everyday so our phone usage only consists of short conversations that cover who is going to go to whose house and when. Very rarely do we spend more than 5 minutes on the phone discussing something else since we see each other daily. I think the more you cannot see the person, the more time you spend on the phone. There's nothing wrong with that!
I think they amount of time you spend with each other is very normal, given the distance. I also think it definitely depends on how much space each person needs. My boyfriend and I live together, so we see each other every day, but we each have our own things that we like to do, so we're not always spending that time focused on each other. We do spend a fair amount of time truly together though, and it's great
I am not in a relationship with anyone.
I tend to use the phone as little as possible.
I would have to get a mobile/cell phone if I am in a relationship with someone - so she can easily contact me
he's not a phone person, but he tries for me. our main communication is IM... every day. i try to see him every week... schedules are hectic
My boyfriend and I have a scheduled "date day" once a week, but usually hang out almost every week day since we go to school together. We talk on the phone every night for about an hour, sometimes more, sometimes less. There's no such thing as normal. It's whatever works for you. :)
My boyfriend's not a phone person.. he only calls if he wants to know when and where to meet up. But we do go to the same university, so I see him maybe 1-3 times a week. We both have our own things to do too so we don't mind not seeing each other everyday... after all, "absence makes the heart grow fonder"
I see my boyfriend almost every day, so we don't really talk on the phone for extended periods of time. Phone calls are usually less than 5 minutes or so.
My bf isn't exactly much of a phone person, so we keep contact daily either through AIM or text messaging.
We see each other every other week, depending on our hectic schedules.
Our relationship has been good so far. No complaints. (^_^)b
there's really no guideline/standard. it's whatever you're both comfortable with. and it varies from person to person. ive had some bfs that wanted to talk all day/all night online and on the phone. then i had some that just wanted to see me all day, everyday AND still talk on the phone.
No, I don't think it depends on how much you like them. There's someone I had been talking even before I thought of her as more than friends. I just liked talking to her, and it was a great way to know her prior to hanging out. I do think that she's probably been the first person that I've talked to on the phone for a long time...I don't like talking on the phone lol so she's made me talk quite a lot
Me and my best friend talk as if we were dating. In the summer he used to call everyday, we would hang out almost every day, and then the next day if we didn't see each other and if I wasn't pmsing, we would talk for at least three hours.
I think that's strange >_<
With my most recent girlfriend, we talked on the phone every night and it averaged about maybe 2-4 hours each night. We lived about 11-15 miles apart from each other and at the time, we didn't have our own cars. So usually for the first 1 1/2, we usually see each other like once a month. Once we got our cars, maybe it was like once to twice a week we see each other.
I've kind of been wondering if it's normal also. My boyfriend & I really aren't phone talkers so we don't spend much time talking on the phone. If it's been a few days, I'll call him but we only talk for about 10-15 minutes. We live in the same town but we only see each other a few times a week too. We both kind of like our space but also like to spend time with one another. Also, he's pretty busy with his full-time job & I'm still in college so it isn't a big deal if we don't see each oher for awhile.
I don't think how much you see each other or talk to each other depends on how much you like each other or depend on each other. I don't believe you can put a correlation on things. I believe how much you see each other or talk to each other should be a healthy amount.. I believe in it reflecting how much you trust each other.
My boyfriend & I are currently doing a long distance relationship: ATL & NYC. We have yet to visit each other [he's working & I'm still looking] but we care about each other a lot.. we've been together for about 2 years now. We try to talk everyday if possible, either via phone, text, or googletalk. He's also looking in investing in a webcam so we can use MSN & see each other when we talk. However, we both understand that we each have our own thing to do so we're fine with a quick 1-min phone call some days. We do try to have at least one "deep" & intense/stimulating conversation once a week if possible. We are also looking into visiting each other but at best, we'd probably see each other twice every 3-4 months.. It doesn't kill us. We can live without each other but we choose not to. :)
I've always wondered this, so im glad someone asked. I've asked some of my friends and it seems to vary. One of them has some sort of contact at least once a day (email, text, etc). But I guess whatever works for both people.
me and my ex boyfriend spent everyday together for like 3 years straight.. that ended badly lol
I see my SO on weekends, mostly, but we still talk on the phone for about an hour every day. It works out pretty well for us, surprisingly (I'm not normally much of a phone person).
Especially when first starting out, too much contact is tiring. You'll end up getting tired of each other very quickly. But it is nice having some type of contact daily, wether it being phone calls, texts, IMs, ect.
Oops. Forgot to mention.. previous to the long distance relationship with my boyfriend, we attended the same university & lived rather close to each other. [Sophomore year we lived in the same building, 2 floors apart. Junior year we lived about 15 min away from each other. Senior year we lived in the same building again but on opposite ends & 8 floors apart.] As our relationship developed, we often ended up spending every spare moment together & that got to be a lil suffocating for both of us.. [& when we weren't together or in class, we'd be on googletalk with one other or phone] & this resulted in some nasty fights & a temporary break-up. After we cooled down, we realized we both needed our space & now we're doing so much better! :) [We also had the time to mature during the 2ish months apart.]
So space is good.. provides you with room to grow & mature in your relationship. :)
My boyfriend and I tend to call each other a couple times a day for few minutes to keep in contact since we're currently 150 miles away from each other. He's not much of an online person, but I'd rather talk on the phone anyway; the computer always feels too impersonal to me. When I'm home, we still typically call each other once or twice a day, but that's mostly to set up plans to see each other and make the most of our time together since I really only come home once or twice a month from school.
When we first started dating, we used to spend hours (between 2 -6, no lie) on the phone with each other almost every night. While that was nice, I kind of prefer our system now since neither one of us has the time to talk for hours (I'm a full time art student and he's a part time student and works an over-night job).
me and my boyfriend text each other everyday and see each other everyday exxept weekends; but on weekends we text even more@
It really depends on the couple...
My boyfriend and I go to the same university, so we see each other every day, even if it's just for lunch or dinner (although we usually spend at least a few hours each day). We don't usually talk on the phone much, except to find out when/where we're meeting up for something. When he's not hooked up to his xbox360, we talk on AIM a lot. (Not as much as we used to.)
During the summer/breaks, we talk on the phone every day, at leaaaast once, usually a few times. And we talk A LOT b/c we're used to seeing each other a lot. We usually visit once a week, or twice on rare occasions. We don't live too far apart, but we both work a lot.
Whatever works for you guys!