This is a guest blog submitted by a Datingish reader.A few months ago, I was at a friend's house - she was talking
to this boy that she really liked. Being stupid, I took his screen
name and started IMing him. He's a grade above us and goes to our
school. At the time he was taken, but we still talked a lot and
flirted. Something happened between him and my friend and they quit
talking, but he'd still talk to me.
At the first football game of the season, he and his girlfriend stood right next to us. I ignored them
and decided not to bother them. That night he texted me and was asking
why I didn't say anything. From that night on we've been really flirty,
texting 24/7.
Last week, he and his girlfriend broke up and he began liking
another one of my friends (who has kind of a horrible reputation when it comes to guys). complete whore. I
told him to be careful but wouldn't tell him why, and he avoided me
all week.
Saturday night, out of nowhere, he texted me and we resolved
everything. For the past three days we've been talking non-stop. And
he's sending me mixed signals, saying he wants to 'mess around' even
though he's emotionally taken by another girl.
I still like him for some reason, but I'm not sure if I should or not. Is this guy a player, and more importantly, is he worth my time?
Comments (52)
Don't go for the player type. Nevertheless, it could depend on the person and the situations, he might try to give you some sort of lessons :-/
wow, wide range of responses... I guess to respond somewhere in the middle.
You should play him. Totally get close, continue the flirting... get real close (but not too close, if that makes sense) and then the next time you see him out of nowhere dump his sorry ass.
Ok, don't do that. It's horrible, but I think if you speak to his X's , they may appreciate it.
I think I saw this in a movie somewhere... well more like from a movie trailer. Time for the girls to cut the guys down to size.
@MOJOJONO_X2@xanga - better yet, txt him the break up. He'll be so confused.
Ok, really, don't do any of this. Just stay away from him... He's probably charming you with the flirtiness and his mysterious nature. Heartbreak and unhappiness awaits unless you decide to be blissfully ignorant. Maybe he will grow up when he's done college.
Uhhhh are you crazy? Heck no...YOU DESERVE BETTER. You deserve somebody who is into you both emotionally and physically. Don't do this to yourself.
I recall you calling some girl a whore...that's what you'll be if you give in to his offer.
Just to mess around? WTF! *walks away mumbling angrily*
Players always play. If he's with her and talking to you, how do you know he won't do that when he's with you. Also, he's already emotionally cheating on his GF with you. If you did go with him, he'll most likely be cheating with one of your friends, since that is exactly what he is doing now. It looks like he's just using you to boost his ego and it's working.Â
Not worth your time if you're looking for something serious. Have fun with him if you want to, but don't expect anything more.
If you really feel comfortable with being someone's toy when it's convenient, then go for it. Otherwise, there are plenty of other boys out there. You don't need to fall head over heels with someone who isn't going to respect you. What's right for you comes first above everything else.
I don't think that guy is worth your time. If you hook up with him or get involved..he will just mess with your mind and play with your emotions because with him sending you mixed signals and telling you that he wants to mess around with you means that he's just playing you..and doesn't want to be serious with you.
k here is my advice...I didnt have to finish reading anymore than a few lines,when I can tell you "HE is the whore"you have to stay away from those kind of guys that are"fishing" he is not the committed type..He is the kind that gets a few notches on his belt and walks away to the next available girl...Find yourself a guy who is interested in YOU not the other way around.Flirting is fine until you get hurt!!!I know from experience....you seem smart....stay that way...peace
It's really plain and simple- he is not worth your time.
It depends what you want. If you want a long-lasting relationship, he's not the one for you. However, if you just want to "mess-around" with a no-strings-attached kind of deal, and understand that he's not likely the type that will love you for you, then I think it's alright to stick around. In a way, it's like weighing short-term gains against long-term gains.
it's pretty easy to see, he just wants to mess around. so if u want that, then go for it, but he's not worth ur time if ur looking for a relationship. if he REALLY liked u, he wouldn't be available all over the place. Also, he's cheating on his girlfriend, so that obviously means he was cheating while with ur friend and whatnot, so he's not a potentially good boyfriend.
so... good for a boytoy, not good for relationships.
Ahh, the high school romance.
He has all the signs of a player, and if you don't want a commitment, and want to have a name placed on you [because you know it'll get around school even if you don't do anything with him] then go ahead.
My suggestion? Cut off all ties. You'll be known as the prude/bitch/ice queen, but I'm sure you'd rather have that name than "the whore".
It isn't worth your time. I was in a situation exactly like you're decribing, and I fell for it. Turns out, he never talked to me again. It was awesome....not.
"Players only love you when they're playing..."
if he's "emotionally taken" and still wants to mess with you, then obviously he's not worth your time.
Not worth it.
He wants to 'mess around' with you while being 'emotionally taken' by another girl? And you really have to ask if you're being played here? Seriously?
Not worth your time.
Do you like him because everyone else in school has gotten a ride on this Used Bike you call a guy?
Do yourself a favor, have some self respect and like a guy who respects you enough to not offer to "mess around" with you while being emotionally invested in another girl.
You deserve to be with a guy who is going to be emotionally invested in you and not "mess around" with any other girls. That is, you deserve that as long as you stop trying to horn in on your friend's love interests.
I hope you do realize that he's playing with you because he knows you didn't act with honor by talking/flirting with him while he was obviously getting to know someone you consider a friend. He thinks you're just that kind of girl.
@grinner08@xanga - Well said!
Poster: I would wonder if you'd be hurt if someone you were dating was texting another girl and being "flirty"?
-M
You're young enough that it's okay to mess around as long as you're being safe. But don't expect this guy to start any kind of relationship with you. He sounds like he wants to have more than one girl on the back burner just in case the shit hits the fan in his existing relationship. He also sounds like he just wants a lot of girls to like HIM. He's not at all worried about you--he's worried about himself. If you want to mess around, that's fine. But if you want a relationship--ignore the hell out of this guy. You're only going to get hurt.
If you want to just fool around and you're okay with there never being a relationship, then go for it. But, like somebody said earlier, he is really just not that into you.
He is obviously really immature right now, so if you are looking for a real relationship and not just being his booty call, then I would move on. He sounds really sleazy anyway.
if you full around with this guy, as a girl, you might get attached. and once he's done with you, he'll toss you aside like a sack of potatoes.
besides, he has a gf. what the hell are you thinking? BOTH of your friends got tossed aside AND if you do that then that would mean he'd be cheating. Cheating is one of the worst things anyone can EVER do in a relationship.
I see that your young, that's fine, but that's NO EXCUSE for being stupid. You know it's wrong. You know that he's a player what other signs do you want. You full around with this guy, if his gf is a crazy one, she's going to kill you. On top on you being labeled as a WHORE... you call your friend a WHORE, you'll be up there next to her.
Follow your gut feeling that this guy isn't right. It's cool to be friends with him, but DON'T go any further than that.
@Mandrake@xanga - Absolutely. Flirty guys are a huge turn off for me. Actually every guy I've liked has had a sincere personality, meaning they say exactly what they mean rather then just using a lot of empty words to have fun.