This is a guest blog submitted by a Datingish reader.A few months ago, I was at a friend's house - she was talking
to this boy that she really liked. Being stupid, I took his screen
name and started IMing him. He's a grade above us and goes to our
school. At the time he was taken, but we still talked a lot and
flirted. Something happened between him and my friend and they quit
talking, but he'd still talk to me.
At the first football game of the season, he and his girlfriend stood right next to us. I ignored them
and decided not to bother them. That night he texted me and was asking
why I didn't say anything. From that night on we've been really flirty,
texting 24/7.
Last week, he and his girlfriend broke up and he began liking
another one of my friends (who has kind of a horrible reputation when it comes to guys). complete whore. I
told him to be careful but wouldn't tell him why, and he avoided me
all week.
Saturday night, out of nowhere, he texted me and we resolved
everything. For the past three days we've been talking non-stop. And
he's sending me mixed signals, saying he wants to 'mess around' even
though he's emotionally taken by another girl.
I still like him for some reason, but I'm not sure if I should or not. Is this guy a player, and more importantly, is he worth my time?
Comments (52)
On a level, I don't know what you're lookig for in a relationship. Are you ok to be involved with someone with that sort of an agenda?
If not, then this doesn't seem like a healthy relationship in my honest opinion. I'd say don't involve yourself with this guy more than you already have ^^
All the best with it..
Just mess around with him.
He doesn't sound worth your time, but if you just want to full around also then go for it.
There tend to be no mixed messages in a guy's world, that just means he's just not that into you.
I've been there and i've done that. I wouldn't even try. I've probably been in the same situation that you are going through maybe five times.
If he says he just wants to "fool around" that means he just wants to "fool around" with you until he gets bored and wants to "fool around" with another girl.
It's happen to me. I was a makeout buddy [without me even knowing that I was one.] and someone used to make another girl jealous.
I wouldn't waste the emotions on him. it'll just turn out bad.
And don't just fool around with him just because you want too. I really hate it when people don't commit in a relationship and it's just based off of sexual feelings.
@Appleninjaa@xanga - QFT (quoted for truth).
Sounds like a rebounder kind of dude. I wouldn't go for it if I was in your shoes. He seems to be getting around and it might just be that, nothing else.
If you need to ask whether this guy is a player, you've really got problems. If you don't care whether he's a player and won't get mad when you get played, then go out with him.
Sounds like a player.
Yes, he is a player.
No, he's not worth it.
Stay friends, but keep your heart out of the crossfire.
Personally I don't think someone who wants to "mess around" is worth anybody's time...
He is a player and he is NOT worth your time. He has made that clear multiple times...By always hitting on your female friends and still flirting with you while he dates other girls! He wants you to be available as a backup girl, while he goes ahead and pursues other options. You desrve to be more than a fallback plan.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - Perfectly said.
Considering how many girls he has liked or made his girlfriend in this period of time (too many, even if it has been a year)...def. a player. If you want anything more than a month, max, I would say, leave him a lone. Keep him around as an interesting friend, time filler, but do NOT put any emotions or expectations into it...believe me girl, I've been there.
If he's telling you he wants to mess around, that's all he's looking for and nothing further. If that's all you want as well, go for it. That sort of relationship can be really fun.
But if you have feelings for him, be careful. It seems that he doesn't want a relationship—all he wants is sex—so if you have feelings for him, it might be best to just avoid the situation altogether.
Sounds a bit like me. He doesn't like you in that sense. But if he really does like you, he will come around eventually.
player, don't fall for him or you're going to be the one that is going to get hurt.
sure sounds like a real winner here
Definite player. And he doesn't like you sincerely if he's been flirting with you and going after your friends instead. He's not on your side. He's on his.
Also, don't flirt with a guy who's dating your friend. Can't lead to anything good.
I dated a guy like this. Broke my heart, don't even do it.
He's dated a couple of your friends. I'd be careful of someone like that. Also, he told you directly that he is only interested in a physical relationship with you.
Oh--and he's going to treat you just like he treated the other girls, so if that's what you want (someone using you until he's bored with you, all the while flirting constantly with a potential sex-buddy-on-the-side), well...
if you're gonna play, then play, if you're for real, stay away from him because you'll get hurt.
The fact that you're even PROPOSING this question shows sign enough that you already think he's playing you or at least there's something fishy about his intentions. Take this from someone who's been through this before, he's not worth your time. If he can't emotionally give himself to you and just wants to "mess around," something is not right. On the other hand, if you truly feel like you really like him and this could be a potential relationship than it's worth the risk. I know it sounds really contradictory, but, ultimately, this is your decision. You can't help how the heart feels, but you can help how you handle the situation. Listening to thousands of comments of advice still won't make the decision for you, it can only help you. Tell him you don't want to mess around if he's not willing to commit to you fully. Obviously, you care about your reputation and you have principles. It also seems like he knows that you like him, since he says he wants to mess around and it sounds like he's trying to take advantage of you since you're vulnerable from liking him. I say, he's not worth your time--there will be plenty of boys in your future. He's just a minuscule factor to your entire love life. Goodluck on whatever you choose to do! =]
for some reason im drawn to player-like guys, sigh!
Stop being naive and smell the roses--dont lend yourself to that kind of game. I mean, you sound young but that's no excuse to act stupid.......HE'S A PLAYER, one and two, how is it mixed signals if he has told you he wants to mess around AND is emotionally taken by another girl?! Those are two HUGE cons against you. Dont even bother with the guy.......
And another thing: i bet he stopped talking to that other "friend" of yours, the 'whore' after he got what he wanted from her. That's gross to even think about.......STD's run rampant nowadays, tread carefully.