T
his is a guest blog submitted by sleepyhead.The crisp mornings with a slight chill. Tree l eaves turning
different colors. Everyone wearing brand new clothes and kicks. Many
have anxiety and fear written on their faces. One of the most exciting things about going back to school was having the chance to meet
new girls and a possibility of a new girlfriend.
High school was that
point when relationships started to make some sense and girls no longer
had cooties. Fall was the best time of the year to be social - if you had the
courage to approach new people, you were good. I've always been too
scared to talk to anyone the first days of school, but I did make
friends eventually. Most girls are willing to talk since they know they’re in the
same situation, new to a school and looking to make friends.
Those
years I tried my best to date, but always thought the older I got, the
more women I would be able to meet. School was limited in terms of how
many people you could meet. If you were rejected, then everyone knew
about your business. The real world seemed like a viable option to
look forward to. Was I ever wrong.
Now that I'm done with
college and looking for a permanent career, I realize how much harder
it is to meet people. During my school years, meeting women was almost a
priority. Everyone was in a similar environment and looking for a
relationship. The real world changed those priorities.
In the next
week or so I'll be sitting on the train in the mornings looking at all
the students going to school. I'll be wondering about the days of
school, when all I had to worry about was my homework, girls and
playing ball. Now it’s all about survival. How fast times change.
Do you think it's harder to meet people in the real world or in school?
What does/did the first day of school mean to you? And are you excited?
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Comments (34)
I hate that, lol. SCHOOL *IS* THE REAL WORLD!! YOU SPEND LIKE, 20 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE IN IT!!!
*cough*
; )
Ok, now that that's out of my system, yes, I do find it harder to meet people out in the job market. On the other hand though, I knew a LOT of people who want nothing to do with relationships while they were going through their studies... and were too stressed to begin any sort of dating. I find it hard to meet people in general, but maybe that's because I make lame comments about "school being the real world" on their blog. ^_- Cheers!
yeah it was definitely much easier meeting women in school. And on top of that, you don't have to deal with issues like sexual harassment and crap like that.
school is the best place to meet ppl...ppl live nearby...have the same classes...make fun of the same teachers...go to house parties together...etc.
work just sux...u can meet new ppl but more than likely, u are eager to go home and sleep cuz u are so exhausted and bored...and even if two ppl work in the same company, they usually work in diff depts...
ah...i miss school...:-/
@sorjai@xanga - Yeah, you do. There are creepy teenage boys too.
of course school was the better place. now that I'm working, it's so hard to meet new ppl. Miss the good old college days....
I find I have to be much more intentional in meeting guys now that I'm working. First of all, I am the only single person in my office and there are very few single guys in my church. I could always pick off the college boys in my town, or is that taboo?
School is a good place ot meet new people. "the real world" i havnt had that much of a taste of yet since im still in school but i dont have that hard of a time meeting people when i go out. Probably cause my friends and i satrted playing "tag" with random groups of people. As for being excited for school, im VERY excited.
Although I'm not out in the working world yet, I find meeting people at school to be just as intimidating. I moved from a small town of about 3,000 to Grand Rapids, Michigan. I'm too busy dealing with culture and sticker shock to be interested in finding someone.
However, even if one is working toward a career, there are still places to meet people like a coffee shop or the library. If nothing else, one could talk about the iced coffees. :) It's all about getting oneself out there.~ Peace and Loveit seems like meeting people at school is So much easier, usually there are a lot of people your age around you and you're all going through the same thing.
i'm definitely excited for school :) i started college yesterday afternoon and i definitely like it so far. i'm so glad to be out of high school. and besides, guys in high school are still a little immature. i know not all mature just because they go to college but at least there aren't 15-17 year olds in college :)
i recently graudated from university...and noticed that it is much harder to meet people too..besides from work, which really limits the opportunity set...the gym, coffee shops, grocery stores, and park...are all good places but still its not as easy as school : P
another issue is when you meet a stranger in a public place they tend to be more guarded (majority of time) and aren't looking to meet people in first place....next time you're walking outside...try looking at people's eyes and see how many are totally oblivious to your presence....sometimes we live in our own world and forget the beautiful, simple things around us : )
given all that, I'm actually really optimistic and hope people will be more open minded!
yeah seriously, school was the easiest place to meet women. now what do we have? grocery stores and bookstores. sadness
I go to a commuter college, and that means 90% of the people in attendance are thus there purely to get their education and get on with their lives. Trying to meet women at my school is a bad idea.
Even in high school, I tended to find that the dating scene was dramatic and gossipy, and nobody really had a chance with anybody because everybody liked some one else, who in turn liked somebody else. Such is the downfall of all insular systems. On top of that, most people were just too immature to date meaningfully.
That being said, it is much more difficult to meaet people once you're out of the system, but I think that just reinforces the mature aspects of dating - arranging a nice dinner with the few women you do meet, bringing flowers,
etc. In truth, I like that idea better than teenage hormone fest. I guess that just makes me a believer in quality, not quantity.
Besides, if you just get used to going out and doing the things you like to do by yourself, you're bound to find people doing the same thing, which means guaranteed common interests. Highschool is just a place where everybody is forced into the same room as one another. Is that really a place you'd want to meet women? Some room you all were forced into?
I'm still in college so I haven't really been out in the "real world" as far as a career and everything goes. I do think it would be much harder to meet someone while not in school. I live on campus and so I'm always around different people and it's pretty easy to meet someone.
@boldntrue@xanga - Unless you live in the South, where people get offended if you don't acknowledge their presence and look them in the eye.
I think college is one of the best places to meet people if you live on campus. I just started working... and I miss it a lot. It was a great experience for me.
Well, I think it's just hard to meet people in general nowadays. Things have changed. For example, many people are turning to online dating. I can say it didn't work for me though.
School is one of the best and easiest places to meet people. Depending on your job in "the real world," you're probably not going to interact with as much people.
The first day of school means to me new beginnings. Whatever I didn't like last year/semester, I can almost start all over and do things differently. I'm definitely excited to go back.
It's probably harder to meet people in the real world. IMO, it's because as soon as you enter the real world, people will have different priorities. Whereas in school, generally everyone just wants to pass and graduate so there is a lot more commonalities. Thus, making it easier for people to connect.
For me it's actually harder to meet people in school. I go to a private all boy's school and live in the dorm. The rules are pretty strict, and let's just say there's no chance of meeting girls. Also, this school happens to be in a different state from where I live, so the first day of school means leaving my hometown, and into an institute of strict rules that I don't think you'd believe. Alas, I head back next week.
It's way easier to meet people in college than in the real world.
I miss school too! so much easier to meet people. always meet a person through another person and so on. much easier. I screwed that up as well. now it's time for the "real world"...but there's always grad school
I find it hard to meet people in school and in life, I am a loser in both situations. Right now working on what I feel I need to work on in terms of my life and career. I still have good friends and can hang out with them when I need. So I guess not a dying need to go out and meet anyone and everyone. But I try to keep myself open to being friendly and outgoing when something comes up.
Eh...all my older friends tell me college is the best place to meet a mate. I agree...although I'm kind of still 'in school'...but not in the normal sense. It's going to be harder to find a guy here on out...
...but I don't mind online dating ;)
~da;lkj tapioca miLk~
shit, did i just waste the last 4 years? ...although in those 4 years i didn't meet a single girl i considered suitable material. oh well, there's always grad school right? haha.
I see the same thing happening. It's never a good time. You just have to want it enough to suffer the consequences of trying (embarassment, shame, feeling like a loser in front of other people, people you have to see every day and can't hide from).
So in school you get to meet a lot of people who are very similar to you in age and location at least, but you can't runaway from the gossip of having everyone know your business or how inexperienced you are and every whisper hits a raw nerve because its all so new to you and you're not experienced enough yet to know how to hide how you feel and when to show it and basically act like you know what you're doing. And what you risk with every relationship for which you have sincere feelings and hopes is the possibility that the breakup could leave you weak and depressed enough to alter your performance in school during a crucial time in your life.
In real life, a lot of people are dating someone or married and you are surrounded by people of various age groups. That matters because its depressing to go through most of your days not even seeing the hope of a potential for a romantic relationship and should you happen upon someone cute, let's hope that person doesn't work with you because that's even worse than school. Having a relationship affect your job is worse than school because you're not in a time during your life where you can just shake it off a bad relationship.
In summary, there is never a good time or place to start a relationship. Just make sure it's with someone that's decent and won't make an ass out of themselves or you, should you break up. Breakup survival also takes learning and skills so that you don't end up losing your shared friends or having things be awkward in a place where you don't want them to be awkward. Takes experience or watching other people do damage control to really go into relationships as fearlessly as you would like and need to in order to find the right one.
I get the feeling that a lot of people would like to try out more people but they are more conservative about trying because they don't quite know how to do the damage control. I'm no expert myself.