Sunday, 24 August 2008
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Guest Blog: Disney Chicks
This is a guest blog submitted by pseudohim.
unlike kids today that have grown up with the technology that has brought us monsters, inc., toy story, nemo, wall-e, shrek, and other pixar/dreamworks magic, i grew up watching disney's 2D-animated musicals. and they were FANTASTIC! they should really bring them back. when i was a kid, my mom bought every disney movie as soon as it was released on VHS. so come saturdays, my sister and i would pop in the tape(s) and crowd in front of the tv to drown ourselves in a world of musically talented princes, princesses and talking animals. my favorite of them all was beauty and the beast, largely because i was completely smitten with belle.belle was my very first crush ever. and i loved her as much as a seconder grader possibly could. in my young mind, she was the epitome of perfection, and even my pre-prepubescent heart knew that a girl like her was something special. in fact, belle's impression on me was so profound, it made me see girls in a totally new light. they were no longer the "enemy," and any notion that girls had cooties was completely tossed. that year i even spent extra time customizing the valentine's grams we would hand out in school on valentine's day. but shortly thereafter was a supreme disappointment as i discovered that my classmates were in fact nothing like belle at all.
the funny thing is... nearly a decade and a half later, i realize that my first crush (albeit she's a cartoon) is still the type of girl i crush on today. belle embodies quite a few of the things that i value.
1. i find intelligence damn sexy, and belle is quite the nerd. growing up i was just as big a bookworm as she. i frequented the library and was ecstatic to receive paperbacks for birthdays and christmas. i often daydream about serendipitously meeting a really cute girl at borders or barnes & noble, grabbing for the same book (of which there is only one copy left), breaking out in laughter and talking about other all-time favorites and making promises to meet again for a reading date. in fact, my idea of a perfect saturday afternoon date would consist of nestling together in a couch, sharing an ipod, while reading a new fiction and sipping coffee. (omg girls where are you going? come back! i like going to the beach too! and other normal things!)
2. while i can't say it's always been the case, i now consider myself very much a family guy, so i would need a family-oriented girl. and belle was most definitely a family girl. look how she doesn't hesitate to sacrifice herself for her father! so it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine her being a devoted girlfriend/wife and a wonderful mother as well. speaking of which, i love girls that are good with kids. the ones that aren't afraid to get their clothes dirty or hold the chocolate smeared hand of the mischievous preschooler, and the ones that knows how to make a kid laugh. i think it's because i've grown up with such an awesome sister, i find girls that look after their siblings and have awesome relationships with their parents incredibly attractive.
3. i'm a sucker for the musically gifted. i especially have a terrible weakness for girls who can play piano while singing. take alicia keys or sara bareilles. droool... (wipe) i would make her sing for me everyday.
4. i appreciate the fact that belle doesn't fall for THAT guy. you know, the self-proclaimed badass that make girls miserable but still seem to get plenty of them. i know a bunch of douchebags like gaston, and a number of girls who have come to me for support, crying about how terribly they've been treated. yet, they go back for more. but not belle. she wouldn't believe in jackasses, but she would believe in "nice guys" like me. (yay!)
5. belle is pretty, yet not superficial. it's a rare combination to find today. and as i have admitted on a number of occasions, i'm quite superficial myself. (so i guess that also makes me a hypocrite, and not so much of a nice guy. dammit.) but... while i don't consider myself unattractive, i realize i'm no brad pitt or mr. clooney. so belle's falling for the beast gives me incredible hope that i too can one day find an beautiful all-around perfect lady. (WHERE ARE YOU? SOMEONE TOLD ME THE COLOGNE I'M SAVING FOR YOU HAS AN EXPIRATION!! SO COME QUICKLY!)
6. i would be remiss if i did not talk about the gold dress. as i've mentioned before, i have a thing for girls that "clean up well." so when she entered the ballroom in that fantastically gorgeous gold dress. W-O-W. i think that's why i also squealed (yes, literally) when kate hudson showed up in that gold wonder in how to lose a guy in 10 days. tee hee.
with all of that said, tragically i seem to know many more girls that have a semblance of the other disney princesses. let us examine them.
there is ariel, the redheaded problem child. sure she might have the hottest body, but unrealistically so. we all know that swimmers have fairly broad shoulders. (haha!) and she was always in that clam shell bikini which means the water was way too hot or she just wants to show of her bod. that skank, at least wear a seaweed wrap or something. worst of all, she blatantly disobeys her dad and brings dishonor to her mermaid kind for that stupid prince. i mean, WHO does that. WHO signs their life away especially to a freaking creepy-looking octopus lady? only stupid people. that's who.
there are a lot of good looking girls that have fair/pale complexion. in snow white's case i think 'white' is an understatement. homegirl is straight up translucent and looks rather sickly. she should really take some multivitamins and eat some non-poisoned fruits. and let's not forget about her 7 little boytoys. i do NOT trust that woman not to have fooled around. (oh my dirty mind.) 'nuff said.
next is jasmine. hmmm... actually, jasmine is pretty cool. she gets major points for having a pet tiger and kudos for letting a pauper "show her the world." but since i have to diss her somehow, i'm gonna say that she is oddly proportioned. i'm convinced she has had some surgical procedures done to enhance her figure.
i was not too much a fan of cinderella. i suppose the fact that she was really good with animals is nice. but mice and birds? jasmine had a freaking tiger. so cindy, sorry but you lose babe.
onward to aurora, the sleeping beauty. it's one thing to play coy. it's another thing to make you fight a dragon and chop your way through thorns just for a kiss. that's playing a bit TOO hard to get. bitch it ain't worth it.
other notable female mentions go to esmeralda who totally played quasimoto, my asian warrior sista mulan who confused herself as a boy, and pocahontas who might be the reason why yellow fever exists. sorry ladies, you don't make the cut either.
SO.... if by any chance you are a belle. (clears throat) why helllooooo there ;)
Have you ever had a a crush on a cartoon character? Which Disney princess is your favorite?
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Comments (290)
Great entry. Jasmine hands down, is my all time favorite princess.
Although, sometimes I wonder how Beauty and the Beast would have played out if the roles were reversed, as in, the girl was the less attractive one....yeah, not exactly Disney princess material, but sometimes, that is life. Yet, in the movie, I thought the Beast was kind of cute (the fur and such), and after he changed back, he was a bit....disappointing, haha.
Your first crush was a Disney Princess, and you are disappointed because you can't find her. I've got news for you, you can't find her because she doesn't exist. There is no such thing as the perfect woman, just like there isn't a perfect man. This is real life, not a fairy tale. My first crush was Prince Charming. Where the hell is he?
i never had a crush on a cartoon...i love belle also...and i do kinda meet your discription except i can't play the piano....but i do sing... in choir! lol this post was very entertaining to read!!!
Dmitri.... so dreamy. He was resourceful, smart, and a bit of a bad boy, but in the end, he had a heart of gold.
In general, I like guys who are the guy version of belle:
1) smart
2) devoted to family/me
3) I MELT for guys who can play classical piano.
4) not into the slutty sorrority chicks
5) who I can discuss deep topics with
6) boys that clean up well - I just love a guy in a tux
Mulan is my favorite disney princess- she risked her life for her family- and she saved her country. How can you not like her?
The disney chick I'm the most like is probably belle: I read all the time, I'm close with my parents and brothers, I play piano (and well), I'm not into THAT fratboy kind of guy, I like to talk about serious things, and I think I clean up well, but who knows? :)
But I'm also like Jasmine in the sense that I dont really care what people think about me, and I'm not a doormat.
Overall, though, I think the disney princesses have messed up my generation's views of the "perfect" relationship, when there really isnt such a thing.
Since I was a kid - and YES, I grew up primarily on 2D Disney! - Belle has always been a little fictional idol for me. She's just so awesome, and I wish I were her. ^^
Beauty and the Best still can make me cry. )':
Thanks for this post; I love it when people show appreciation for the GOOD Disney movies.
hahaha funny. well i'm not a lesbian, so i had a crush on captain..chang i think his name was? from mulan. he was hottttt.
haha loved the post! Â ... very interesting indeed!
I never thought of them like that... I was talking to my friend the other day about Ariel and why her upper body was so slim. I love all the princesses for different reasons.
I had a crush on the beast, but I never told my little friends that. He just needed to be loved unconditionally and we all see how tremendously that helped!!!
Beauty and the Beast was my absolute favorite when I was young! It was the first movie I saw in theaters and I went through a stage where I thought I was Belle. (Actually, I do have some very Belle tendencies...
)
Belle and Esmeralda are totally the best Disney girls.
I had a madd crush on Dmitri, from Anastasia, and Thomas (Pocahontas--John Smith's nerdbucket friend). Also, from Mulan, General Sheng was pretty hot and afterward I developed an asian fetish. hehe. I about died when I met this hot Korean guy (I live in a really sadly white town) and we dated for two years. Now I have a celtic fetish. Are there any disney movies for that one? hahaha.
LOL! This post is awesome!
Heh. I remember wanting my own pet tiger after I first watched Aladdin. Yeah... I wasn't very bright back then. xP
I loved this post! Euhm, I dressed up as Belle once for Halloween. And I am a bit like her. I liked Aurora best, though. You call it 'hard to get' but she didn't ask for him to go through all the trouble just for a kiss! At least she appreciated his successful efforts and stayed with him! Plus, her dress changed color! But, I'm no blonde...
~~Mary~~
i have a picture of belle on my bedroom wall.
i've had it there since i was about 5.
she was ALWAYS my favourite princess, but i had a soft spot for ariel and jasmine (although. in all honestly. i just thought aladdin was a sexy beast).
Hahaha my favorite Disney character is also Belle.
I'm definitely a Jasmine or a Mulan, but I think Jasmine is a million times hotter. I mean, damn. I don't think you'd seriously turn down a girl who looked like that. I wish I could combine Belle's bookishness with the determination and independence that Jasmine/Mulan have. Which, I do, but I want the disney characters to do it!
And Pocahontas is Native American - "red" - not "yellow."
@phonogramically@xanga - Aladdin IS a sexy beast!
@IntrospectiveOctober@xanga - No such thing as a perfect relationship?
I'm in one.
disney movies these days suck!! back the good ol' ones!!
lol very interesting post and very in depth. but we all must come back to reality because belle, ariel and snow white are all "fantasy" characters just like how prince charming is to us women. a balanced relationship needs to both give & take. with that being said, i do hope that you meet your "belle". :o)
I.... LOVE this entry!!! :) One of my favorite Disney characters was also Belle, and I actually got a chance to meet her this summer when I went to Disneyland!
Lol, Mulan is awesome though...she's smart, strong, and saved her country...
Growing up, Belle was my all-time favorite~ I love reading & I was sooo jealous when she got the library from Beast! [I used to spend my summers reading at least 100 books. no joke.] I also loved her gold dress & I felt the same way when Kate Hudson showed up with that dress in How to Lose a Guy.. I would've worn a yellow dress for prom that was similar to Belle's had it been available. Instead, I had to settle for pink in the same style. :( I also loved the whole getting to know & falling for Beast. That's exactly what I look for in relationships. I find that being friends first usually helps the relationship. :D
But I cannot believe you dissed Mulan! She's probably my next favorite. She defended her family honor because she knew her father was too old to fight in the war. She was extremely brave considering how dangerous of a situation she put herself in.
I do agree with a commenter above that Disney gave us a skewed look at how relationships should be. But one thing they did get right was never settling for second best. :)
BTW, [to one of the people who commented before me] Shrek was NOT a Disney movie. It was produced by Dreamworks.
wow...your comment about the other princesses are hilarious!! major kudos...you had me and my roommate laughing for a very long time :)
and belle is by far my favorite :) i would always pretend to be just like her when i was little...that might be why i like reading so much haha.
living up to the standards set by Disney princesses is ridiculously hard to do for any woman. Good luck finding your Belle.
Oh and Jasmine is not surgically enhanced...she is Middle Eastern. Our bodies are just that naturally curvy...
my cartoon crush was darien from sailor moon :x
This is hilarious. One of my friends sent me the link to this with the message "Wow, he described you exactly! Well, aside from the family thing, and I guess that's only your mom that you don't get along with.. So basically he described you exactly!"
The funny thing is that I've never compared myself to Belle. Everyone always compared me to Pocahontas. (probably the whole Hippie-Chick thing...) Beauty and the Beast was my favorite Disney movie growing up, though. :)