This is a guest blog submitted by sleepyhead. Every time I go through my high school yearbook, I stare at her picture for a
few seconds...she was my favorite teacher. How couldn't she be? She was
the hottest teacher in the school.
I used to visit her every year but
haven't the past 2 years. I wonder if she ended up finding a
boyfriend. I remember she used to complain about how every guy she met
wanted to pretend to be her student in the bedroom. It was hard for
any guy not to think about her that way.
I tried sucking up to her every
chance I got - I had such a huge crush on her but never had the courage
to tell her how beautiful she was. She had great features, long curly
reddish brown hair, light complexion and long slender body that
accentuated her tight body. Even now whenever some of our high school buddies
get together we always reminisce about her English class, but
the discussions always end with the teachers that have been locked up
because of their relations with younger kids.
I don't see why it's such
a big deal for a teacher to have a relationship with a student. There
are couples out there that have 15, 20 year age gaps. My English
teacher was only 8 years older than I was.
Students are having sexual
relationships with each other; so what if they want to have a mature
relationship with an adult? If it's a mutual relationship, then why
should anyone disagree with it?
Teachers are human are just like
everyone else. They want to be loved, date and have a relationship. And
if it happens to be a student, who are we to say they shouldn’t be
together? If I had the chance to date my English teacher, I would in a
heartbeat. Student/teacher relationships are getting too much
negative attention.
Everyone had or has a teacher they've crushed on. Would you ever consider dating them if you had the chance? Do you think student/teacher relationships are a bigger issue than they should be?
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Comments (57)
If that attraction is there, then it should still exist once the student is, well, no longer a student. My issues as a parent are that engaging in a relationship with my child as a teacher crosses the boundaries of acceptable behavior. It's like me sleeping with my boss. If they want to date post-graduation, fine, but not while the teacher is in any position of authority over my kid. (This does include the entire faculty, even if they aren't physically in contact with my child)
Now, does that mean a child (bc that's what you are until you're 18) can't crush on a teacher? No. I did, with a gorgeous, enlightened man who sowed the seeds of my love for English and writing. But it's the teacher/adult's responsibility to maintain boundaries.
Because given that context, pedophiles should be allowed access to anyone at minimum 8 years younger than they are, since they 'love' them. And a 14/15/16 year old girl can somehow be compatible with a 35 year old man? I don't think so.
Just my two cents.
No, that's absolutely not acceptable, not in high school or lower. It has ethics concerns even in college, imo. Yes there are folks who are 10-20 yrs apart, later in life. But in high school, someone 8 yrs older than you is a HUGE difference in maturity level and life experience. It sounds like you are still young, and obviously do not have children of your own. I'm sure it looks like a great experience for a teenager, heck I crushed on a teacher, too. But for that teacher to have crossed that line with me, would have been extremely unethical for solid reasons.
haha when i was 12 i had a crush on my summer program teacher, .. then i found out he was gay.
T_T
...students dating teachers?? thats gotta be the most retarded thing i've ever heard, dude. not too shoot your idea down, but... its a classroom. school...
i don't think it's acceptable in school. it completely crosses the line. i mean.. would you really respect your teacher if she was dating one of your friends?
post graduation, i think it might be ok to consider, but not when you're in highschool. and while there are people dating with a ten year difference... the emotional changes you go through in high school are so significant that you can't possibly come out the same person. the maturity difference in a 45 and 55 year old may not be too significant, or even a 32 & 40 year old... but when you're 18 and she's 26, she's already been through so many things, you couldn't possibly be at the same level of maturity. it's sad, but for the most part, true.
by the time highschool came around and i actually started noticing guys, all my guy teachers were old and unattractive. :(
School is not the place for relationships like that. College is fine, but high school still has strict boundaries, I mean, seriously, if you have to ask your teacher/boyfriend for a bathroom pass, there is something very, very wrong in that... Plus, the biggest reason it's such a big deal is because typically students are under the age of eighteen. It is illegal for adults to have physical relationships with minors- that's why it's wrong.
This "student-teacher" relationship subject is still pretty much controversial. Because a teacher/professor has authority of power, it would not be wise to abuse it. Same goes for social workers dating their clients.
I think both the student and the teacher should wait until the semester is over. What if things don't work out? Who would want to jeopardize their academic or professional careers?
honestly, i dont' that i've ever had a crush on my teacher
and i dont' plan on it either
First of all, I've never had a crush on any teacher. As a teacher, I think that intimate relationships with students are unprofessional. In most offices, companies don't coworkers dating each other, this is the same thing in a way.
The reason there is a lot of negative attention is because these teachers are adults having relationships with 13 year olds. At 13, you ARE a child and you are your 32 year old teacher should be worlds apart. Having sex with a minor is illegal hence the negativity of the student/teacher relationship. Most teachers are several years older than their student. When both parties are legally adults, then it isn't important anymore.
Teachers are held to a higher standard even if we are just human like everyone else. People trust us with their children and children usually trust us. Dating a student is breaking that trust. We're supposed to be professionals and it wouldn't be accepted in other fields, so why accept it in teaching? Teachers are also seen in a position of power and to do anything like this, would be abusing it.
I think every teacher Ive crushed on was either gay or married. I've fallen for quite a few of my female teachers but then I really looked at it and it just would never work. One of my favorite teacher is getting married. But she was a pretty young thing anyway, I was just waiting for that moment to come.
I don't think that students should be dating teachers anyway...id be WAY too weird and awkward on a strong level.
there absolutely IS a problem with teachers dating their students, at least in high school or earlier when students are under 18. can you say statutory rape?
that said, i had a crush on a high school teacher, haha. i think almost every girl in our school had a crush on him. can you imagine if the teacher was a total perv and decided to act out on one of the girls who flirted with him? in my naivete at age 15 ii wouldn't have known any better, so i'm glad there are systems in place to prosecute teachers that do such things.
English teachers always seem so attractive, don't they? I only say this because the freshman English teacher at my high school was the favorite of all of the male students. She was married (much to their disappointment), but I doubt she was unaware of the attention. The number of young men in the Student Council rose significantly when she became an advisor. Even with a new baby, she remains the bell of nearly every student's dream.
I feel that relationships should bloom regardless of age barriers, but I also can understand the other point of view. In many ways, it is inappropriate. It'd be like having an intimate relationship with one's boss. Possible, yet with social barriers.~ Peace and LoveHaha this is amusing, one of our teachers at my high school got fired for having sex with a student, she was only 6 or 7 years older than he was.
They even opted to give her the chance to promise not do it again and keep her job, but she said she couldn't make that promise.
Now she's a gross old bag with saggy boobs and I'm pretty sure she's been "used" by many other students since. My friend looked her up on facebook, what a disappointment to his high school dream. Ha ha ha ha ha.
How is this even remotely acceptable? High school students are all mostly under age 18.
However, two of the girls from my high school are dating teachers from when we were seniors back in high school. They weren't very public about the relationships until the girls finished high school. One of the couples is actually engaged. Regardless though, a lot of people still think this is weird.
@daeshii@xanga - ok, well i pretty much agree with everyone who's against it, but I saw her opinion first.
Myself, as a teacher, I would not (granted, I'm an elementary teacher, but even if I taught high school/college, I would not). There is a professional relationship between the student and teacher.
I think that part of the problem is that there is a lack of professional relationships between teachers and students, particularly in high school. I specifically remember a teacher that I had, that all the girls lusted after. I feel that a lot of that was because he shared too much of his personal life with his students. Another one went so far as to bitch about his wife during class. Just very....unacceptable. Unprofessional.
Once they are no longer students/all legal ages have been met, then it's all up to them.
Sorry, I don't think it's appropriate at all!
The issue isn't the age gap, or even consent, but the power imbalance that exists between a student and teacher. This is the same reason why dating your boss is also a bad idea, and why we have sexual harassment lawsuits.
Personally, as hot as they would ever be, I'd never look at a teacher like that. It's kinda funny to hear my friends just being silly about having the hots for a teacher, but it's just simple physical attraction. Even if it went beyond that, I'd never try to date a teacher. I don't want to make her lose her job, and I just don't personally go for that.
Because school is a place of education...
teachers should be role models...
there's enough garbage going on today with the kids...the tv they watch...music they listen to...
if it permeates the school as well...then what other sanctuaries are left?
sex education should only be taught in well...sex education class =T
Sorry dude, but even if she was super hot, it's just weird. There is no doubt that people can get attracted to their teachers, but seriously, think outside the box.
Yea that's a no no. And why did she even talk about what happened in her bedroom...I just see no point at that
This is one more reason that I'm glad I didn't go into a teaching career besides the fact that teachers never go to the bathroom. I'm weak, I'd stare at adolescent female students' feet and ankles, try to find excuses to find out what size shoes they wear....I'd get my ass in a sling....
I think the teacher student issue is a big one. yes, the teacher has needs and wants to be loved, but they are in a position of authority. What if they made a move on a student who felt like that had to respond positively to pass the class? What if they thought they couldn't say no? Not to mention that most students are below the legal age of consent.
I really dont understand why a former teacher was talking to you about her sex life. I think that is completely inappropriate, even years later.
while i was in school, there were still a few nuns in the business , but the lay teachers were mounting - one particularly attractive teacher had a dress on one day with writing in french about it - i approached her desk one day and with a big smile, asked if it was braille - the smile got wacked off in true sister style...