This is a guest blog submitted by sahar.I went to a
very small high school with a graduating class of barely 160 people. So, inevitably, everyone was in everyone's business.
Obviously,
there was student drama. The usual, he cheated on her, she passed out
in someone's driveway, the high school lovers of 4 years broke up
(GASP!). Basically, growing up in a place that wasn't even big enough
to be called a town and had to be referred to as a "The Village of
Briarcliff Manor" meant absolutely no privacy. We all grew pretty
accustomed to it.
What was out of the ordinary though, was when
there was teacher drama.
When I was in 6th grade, our new English
teacher started dating her classroom neighbor, our global history
teacher - it was the scandal of the middle school! We would see them
walking to their cars together, getting lunch, even a smooch once in a
while. The English teacher eventually ended up getting fired for
throwing a book at a student who was just being annoying (I know!).
Soon after she left, the global history teacher, who had been there for
almost five years and was up for tenure, left as well. Rumor has it they
got married are living very happily now.
Senior year of high school, we had a new economics teacher. All the boys loved her because
she was gorgeous, and all the girls loved her because she was very down
to earth, young and understanding. She attempted to keep her personal
life to herself, but in a town like that it was nearly impossible. We
found out almost weeks into her first semester that she had been dating
our rival school, Pleasantville High School's football coach.
(Yes, I
know. Pleasantville was our rival town and everything was in black and
white, and we also lived right next to Sleepy Hollow with the headless horseman.)
This caused chaos! When our football games came she
didn't know which side to sit on; with her boyfriend of three years or the
school she taught for. They ended up breaking up towards the end of the
year and she made that VERY public. She was in a bitter post-break up
mode for a while. She hated seeing young couples holding hands and on
Valentine's Day she didn't even show up to teach. Rumor has it that they broke
up because she was ready for the "next step" and he wasn't.
I
went and visited her earlier this summer. It just so happened
that she and her football coach got engaged and married after three months
of being broken up. I was very happy for her!
I always thought
it was weird that the entire student body knew about our teacher's
lives. I tried to stay out of it, but when the news came my way I
couldn't avoid it.
What do you think about students knowing intimate events of their teachers' romantic lives?
Comments (33)
I think its weird but sometimes teachers are the ones who dish it out. I go to an even smaller school where the total student body is less than 200 students. I think its funny that with 200 students in the ntire school, we dont know everything about everyones personally life like your school did.
haha pleasantville.
I remember in 7th grade one of my teachers was gay, but no one ever knew until someone found a book where "Happy anniversary, Love Tim" was signed on the inside cover. He didn't want us to know, and it really wasn't any of our business, but students find things out every once in a while.
My freshman English teacher was going through bad, bad times after her fiance died in a car crash, and she started dating the gym teacher. They denied it, but people saw them together all over the place.
They broke up after they went out somewhere and he got drunk and started a barfight.
I feel so bad about all the crap we talked when she wasn't around.
I go to a big school so its no surprise that I don't know about
everyones business but I have heard of a few of my teachers. I know
that one of my bitter old teachers was divorced, my crazy chemistry
teacher and her boyfriend broke up and thats why she was so cranky with
us, and I was really close to my 6th grade teacher who always gave us
little bits of her personal life like when she just got engaged and
when she was expecting. she even showed us pictures of the wedding
(wishing she could invite us all) and pictures of her new baby
boy.
I think its weird knowing the intimate parts of our teachers' lives because we perceive teachers as non-human for some reason, even seeing them shopping is weird. But something similar happened in my school where a science teacher cheated on his wife with a fellow science teacher, and it was the 'talk of the town' for a very long time. There were even rumours going round that the wife came into school and gave her a black eye. As a result the wife left him and now the two science teachers are happily married. Strange huh?
My graduating class was about the same size, but I never knew the gossip. Partly because I moved there halfway through, so I didn't have the connections, but mostly because I didn't care. There was a rumor that I did hear, about my senior government teacher having an affair with my junior US history teacher across the hall.
I think that it is none of the students' business, but if a teacher is putting it out there, then obviously they want it to be known. I personally will keep my personal life to myself for the most part, but younger kids are more curious and about stuff they can relate to so I wouldn't mind sharing some stuff.
it was pretty well known during my senior year of high school that a science teacher and a business teacher were having an affair (both were married). the worst part was that the science teacher's son went to our school :(
Teachers are people too...with personal lives that are as interesting and heartbreaking as anybody else. I think its kinda cool knowing about their personal lives because it makes them relatable...plus its always interesting gossip lol
I hope my personal life never gets out there to my students! [I am going to be an elementary school teacher. However, that might be wishful thinking 'cause now more & more children are getting online earlier & earlier. >.<]
As for me, I went to a high school with a graduating class of around 800 students. I don't think there was any gossip. If there were, I didn't seem to hear of it. :) [160 sounds insanely tiny. Although my graduating class from the School of Ed was about half that size yet I didn't hear much of the gossip either.. perhaps I like to remain in the dark about these things.]
I think it shouldn't matter.
I say keep it to a minimum. Students should not be their confidants, and that is their workplace. But that said, it's probably hard to keep it all under wraps, and a little bit makes a person more approachable.
this sounds interesting
i remember when my 6th grade teacher hooked up with the gym teacher
who acted like he liked her step sister
two teachers dated in my high school and everyone was up in their business because they were two of the younger teachers and everyone had a crush on the male teacher.
When I went to middle school, there was a rumour that my instrumental teacher was gay and was dating another teacher in an elementary school nearby. Everyone kept talking about it but now I don't know why it was such a big deal. Who cares if she was a lesbian.. at least it would keep her grumpiness down!
This reminds me of a couple of teachers at the high school I attended. They got married between my sophomore and junior years but all through out my sophomore year it was not unusual to see them walking around holding hands or trying to hide a kiss. And everyone had either seen or was friends with someone who had seen the two of them leaving, with disheveled clothes, a locked classroom that had been dark for at least a half hour after school. They expected their marriage to be a surprise to all of the students when they returned after that summer and couldn't believe that everyone knew they were an item and that they had gotten engaged around that previous valentine's day.
This was in a high school of over 2000 students that everyone knew about their relationship, so they were not doing a good job of keeping a secret.
I can't stand it. Teachers need to be private people. They're there to teach, not to be your friend or have you all up in their shagging habits.
I think that a lot of the problem is that yes, teachers are representing a school building, district, town. But they (parents in particular) need to realize that teachers are also humans. My boyfriend is a teacher, as am I, and he was once ridiculed by a parent for going to a bar to watch the baseball playoffs. Granted, he responded with, "well, once they show the games at the public library, I'll be the first one there", he always feels as though he has to be "presentable" when he goes out -- even if it means a midnight trip to Wawa, or even the supermarket, heaven forbid! a parent or a student sees him in sweatpants or something.
I think that everyone, particularly parents, need to realize that teachers can have personal lives. We're not running around naked or going out to strip clubs (well, most of us aren't).
I lived in a town set up similarly to yours, so I understand how secrets are rarely kept, especially concerning teachers and fellow staff.
We have a gay head cook who has never thought to hide his sexuality. Â For Halloween one year he dressed up as a fairy with a wand and tu-tu. Â He also goes shopping with a lot of the girls from the high school, and he always gives fashion advice. Â I also had a gay third grade teacher although he was far more conservative about the matter. Â Still, the students were proud of both of them because of their unconventionality.
Our band director was our most unconventional, though.  He had crazy teased, jet black hair, and he had actually worked on the sound crew for Kiss at one time.  We loved him dearly.  Although he never spoke on the relationship, he had this equally unique girlfriend in Chicago with whom he dated on and off.  She was really something.  Tall, slender, with big naturally violet eyes, and corset tops and side-buttoned tight jeans.  We only saw her once while he was teaching, and she kissed him passionately right in front of us.  Needless to say, we ate their affair up excitably.Really, very little got by us.~ Peace and Love
As a middle school teacher myself, students are always nosy to learn about their teacher's personal life, especially if they're a younger looking teacher. There are certain things I allow my students to know, then of course there are private matters. For example, last year they knew I was/am in a relationship, but if there had been a disagreement between my boyfriend and I, no way would that be made public. Or they would ask what my boyfriend and I did over the weekend, rather than saying he and I went dancing at a club or to a bar, it would simply turn into "we hung out with our friends", and I would leave it at that. I'd indulge them with an answer to keep them from bothering me about my personal life, but the answer would always be simple, direct, and VERY undetailed.
I agree that teachers and students should have a certain relationship...more professional if you will, but students often WANT to know details of the personal lives of their teachers because they just want to know their teacher is human and they have a life outside of the classroom. Even the simplest and most undetailed answer to a question will quench their thirst for that curiosity. Even mentioning my love for manicures and pedicures and fashion satisfies the most curious 13-year old girl, and my interest in the game Rock Band or my knowledge of WOW and Call of Duty satisfies the 13-year old boys. This tactic diverts their wonderment of more personal issues.
Teenagers are teenagers. They're all gonna talk about it even adults! I knew about something similar going on back at my HS. It wasn't a huge deal. Honestly, I could really careless lol
And while I do have a friendly relationship with some of my past teachers and professors, we still keep it professional.
As a teacher I have to say, its absolutely unprofessional to allow students to hear about personal life details. You wouldn't sh*t where you eat, so why bring your dirty laundry to your place of business?
yah it's not that professional. if she's really young tho, i could see how she might kinda act like a student...
I have a similar situation at the moment. My class has about forty. And the teachers are primarily young. The new psychics teacher? gorgeous. The biology teacher? well, the zoology class had only one guy. The main thing is that the teachers know the student gossip, down to party details. Which is really off-putting in a classroom environment. I don't think it's that big of a deal, really. If something's going on, it's going on. If you find out, you find out...