This is a guest blog submitted by sleepyhead.Mike, my former housemate, called me last night to tell me he and his
girl had broken up. A few days before he had sent me an email. It
didn't say much, just asked how things were going. He's one of the
few people over the years, I have gotten to be really close to, so I
knew something had to be up - this guy never sends an email
asking what's going on.
When he called, I knew he was going through a
tough time - he sounded like he'd been drinking. He told me he left to San
Francisco for the week and had just been bumming around doing nothing. I
couldn't picture him like that. He’s always upbeat and outgoing, never
wanting to waste time sitting around. He and his girlfriend had been fighting a lot over
the past few months and disagreeing about whether or not she should move
in with him. They'd been together for two years and have been friends
for over twelve years.
The
conversation took a weird turn when he said that they were currently arguing
about whether or not she should keep her breast implants.
YES, breast
implants.
This was out of the ordinary. I didn’t know what to say;
none of my friends were ever stuck in a situation like that. His
argument was that they looked great on her and because she'd paid so much money
for them, she should just keep them. Why throw away all that money,
right? She didn't want them anymore - they reminded her of him all the
time because she says he's the one that convinced her to get them.
First
of all, I don't know how he convinced her to get them - any suggestion
of breast implants and most girls become angry. They usually say guys
should appreciate their bodies as they are, and I agree. Women with implants are
not attractive at all. I think most people who get implants have self-confidence
issues and many of their bodies look odd after adding
implants - some even look like they're ready to tip over. It’s not an attractive quality at all.
Honestly,
she didn’t need them at all; she looked gorgeous beforehand! I know it'd always been a touchy issue for her - she was teased about her chest size when she was younger - but it was such a sudden decision that I wish she would've thought about it more before she had surgery.
I told him I
would call up some of the other guys this weekend and we’d get
together and have a few drinks. This was definitely up there in terms
of odd conversations.
Do you think she should keep the implants or get rid of them?
Have you or someone you know undergone a physical change to look more appealing to your SO?
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Comments (72)
I'd be pretty upset if someone suggested I get something about me changed through surgery. I'm not a fan of breast implants either. If she has the money, I'd say go for it, especially if she's already attractive without them.
I think at this point the money invested in them is irrelevant...it's her body and she should do what makes her feel best. If she wants them removed then she should get them removed. It's not like it's an investment that she is gonna make much money off of....well, I reckon she could but we'll assume she won't. I highly doubt this is the source of their breakup and if it is then that is just sad. I agree with you that for the most part, when people make a surgical change of their body it usually has more to do with their own self-esteem than whether or not it will please their SO.
I think it's her decision. Why should he get a say in it?
Suggesting that a girl get implants is grounds for breaking up!
I would never change my body to make him happy.
I think its up to her, if she dont want them, get rid of them.
Xo
Actually, all I could think about while reading this was that I'd be upset that my bf's best bud was publicizing this issue of ours online. eeks. I'd be even more horrified if I thought all his buddies were joking around about it over a few drinks. But then again, personally I would never get them. To each their own.
Other than that, I think the girl should so what she will feel relief doing. Maybe she has underlying health concerns. Sure she should have thought that over a lot harder before she got them (or whatever other reasons she has for wanting to remove them), but certainly no amount of money is worth certain risks... and better to remove them than leave them in. In the end, it's her body, no matter how much it cost to have it done (and removed).
She should do whatever makes her feel comfortable! She already spent the money, so she can't bring that back now, but she also isn't required to just keep the implants. I don't think they should remind her of him. If that's the only reason she's going to go back under the knife to change again, then she may want to reconsider.
I know many people who have tried dieting to become more appealing to their SOs. It never works out well.
I got my boobies for me and no one else. They were on sale at Wal-Mart: Buy 1, Get 1 Free!
@miss_prettyinpink@xanga - If he's paying for it, THEN he can have a say on it.
Well, whether she keeps/gets rid of them or not is ultimately her decision and shouldn't be his, first of all.
Second, people shouldn't make demands like that to each other. I can understand small compromises like "Shave your moustache" or "Don't wear so much makeup", IF it's not a big deal with the other person.
But surgury is too much. If you can't deal with a physical aspect of the person you're seeing to the extent that you want them to get cut up, then there's a problem.
i think that it should have nothing to do with him, and that she needs to ake up her own damn mind.
but regarding what you said about women who have breast implants are unattractive, you might be talking about women who obviously have implants that are unnatural looking and do not suit their bodies. (aka WAY too big.)
'Women with implants are not attractive at all.' --> This is not always true. But back to this case, I think the girl gets the ultimate say. After all it's her own body. And no one should change themselves for other people. The desire to change should always come from within.
First off, if she wants them out, she should have them removed. I mean, I dont understand why he feels he still has ownership over this issue......if they were still in a relationship then I would understand his opinion being a valuable contribution, but it's no longer warranted.
As for her, she never should have gotten them to please him. I dont understand how the boob job could remind her of him all the time either--you said she was teased about her chest size when she was younger so then getting the boob job was probably something that helped her out, something that maybe she longed for during her adolescence (like most of us girls who are challenged when it comes to bra size). Maybe she's trying to make him feel bad for suggesting she get them? Perhaps she harbors resentment towards him and wants to hurt him so she brought up having them removed. At any rate, he never should have suggested she get them and she never should have listened. I, however, doubt she got them only for him--you couldnt convince me to undergo major surgery just to please my SO, especially over BOOBS of all things.
I feel like when you love someone, you love them for who they are, not what their chest size is or what their hair color is. Of course we prefer some things over others, but when someone loves you, they are in love with the whole package.
That whole situation is just sick.
I wouldn't get implants for anyone. And I've put a lot of thought into leaving my SO because of his current fat jokes about me. He thinks they're a funny way to mess with me, I think they're crushing.
Keeping or not should be up to her.
My (used to be) aunt went through a phase where she got implants...and theyre smaller than my real ones. She also go her eyebrows laser removed and tatooed on....
she should decide for her body..its hers after all!!!
and yes, the guy should love her for who and what she is..breasts shouldnt been an issue!
I think if she wants to get rid of them, she should. It's her body and no one has any say in what she does with it.
Um, she might as well just keep them. Like your friend said, money spent shouldn't be wasted.
And I would never go under the knife, nor make someone else do it just to appease that look for me or her. I learn to appreciate the human body as it is and that each is beautiful in their own way. To get breasts enlarged, tummy tuck, facelift or whatever is just dumb. (Getting breasts reduced because of back problems is a valid reason for going under the knife.)
if she wants to get rid of it, it's her choice, her body!
No way! Besides I don't need it. I prefer to portray as the intelligent looking woman, rather as one with implants.
Hmmm...that's odd.... I'd say she has some personal issues she needs to work out. And, possibly work out her relationship with her dad.
First she got them because her boyfriend wanted her to.
Now, she doesn't want them because her boyfriend wanted her to. Both times, it depended on the other person. She should just learn to just love herself first and not try to "fix" things.
It's her choice... though I think that there can be some improvement in her reasons for going under the knife.
Drop the breast implants argument by supporting what makes HER happy. If this can happen, they can start focusing on the more important issues to patch up their relationship.
I personally wouldn't do it to impress my SO. Working out, toning the body, keeping hydrated (things like that) are reasonable. Surgery, no way.
Get rid of them and learn to demand respect for who she is, how she is.
If she didn't want them in the first place she should get rid of them. I believe that the women who should get implants are the ones who are completely unhappy with their bodies and want to feel more like a women. If it bothers them so much that they can not live a normal social life.
I would never go under the knife for my SO for breast implants or any other type of cosmetical surgery. He should love me for who I am and not for the potentials he likes to see.
I think it was a bit silly on the exgf to even consider going under the knife for her bf. If she ever even suggested that your friend gets a surgery that makes his manhood bigger I wonder if he'd be convinced to get that surgery with confidence as she did. And to say that he has CONVINCED her to get her breasts done is unfair. I'm sure a part of her wanted it too--it couldn't be JUST for him--it's denial if she thinks it was all for him that she has sacrificed.
Anyways, it's not healthy for her to keep them in a long run. Studies show that silicone needs to be exchanged every 8 years anyhow... she might as well get rid of them but could she have her body prior to the boobjob? -_-; She should have realized her body is HERS, not his. And he didn't even PAY for them, why the hell was his voice in charge when it came to HER drastic change?? *shake head* All in all, he should have been silent if she voiced that she wanted "them" OUT...
That wouldn't happen. I'm already afraid of gettig put under so doing it FOR someone.... heck no. I wouldn't even continue the conversation with the person. This is a major change to MY body which you should've liked before hand and now you want me to change it because............. EXACTLY NOT ONE GOOD REASON!