If you've been a Datingish reader for a while, you may remember a post about crushing on a barista - well, here's the opposite problem - someone crushing on a customer!
Dr. DatingishSo there's this regular that comes into my work all the time. He is the
cutest thing, and I would definitely be interested in getting to know
the guy outside of work, but I don't know how to hint at the fact!
We
flirt a little when he comes in, but I want to exchange numbers and I
don't know how to insinuate this.
I don't want to come on to him,
and I don't want to hit on him if he's attached - so far I haven't seen
a ring on his finger. How the hell do I get this stranger? I'm
not usually interested in random guys, but he is the most polite person
I think I have ever met and so darn cute.
The worst part? I don't even know his name.
How do I go beyond the "hi, how are you?" barrier? Help!
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Comments (31)
I'm inclined to think that a good first step might be to ask him what his name is.
"You know, you've come in here (however many times he comes in in a period of time- almost every day), and I don't even know your name..."
I'm probably not right in the least, because I half-asleep speed read through this but hey, I think it's worth a shot...
maybe.
I think a guy instinctively knows when a girl is interested in him, so all you can do is continue to make yourself approachable and hope for the best. I believe a guy should make the first move, but you can encourage him to do so by the way you act and talk with him.
I have this guy at work that I wanted to get to know but it took me like a month to get past the "hi!" + wave + smile barrier. I finally took time to hang out and say hi, how are you, what are you up to today, and ask about his job.
Now he wears cologne for me, rofl. I think I've made good progress ;)
@DeadRatDippedInPerfume@xanga - Yeah, a shot in the face, maybe.
I agree with DeadRatDippedInPerfume - "You know, you come in here all the time - I always see you around and I don't even know your name." or something to that effect. I personally find it charming when a member of some establishment that I frequent recognizes me and notices the degree of my attendance. It might even give him the courage to ask for YOUR number
Rule number 1 - SMILE!!! Introduce yourself, then ask him what's his name. "Hey, how are you? I have seen you around here many times so, I'm XXX what's your name? : ) " Oh you need to flirt with your eyes a little so that he will get the idea that you are interested and may want to go get lunch sometime. So... I've flung the ball to your side of the court, the rest is up to you. Good luck! : ))
I like the ideas that most of the other commenters said.
But if he seems to flirt back, there's nothing wrong with telling him you're interested.
yea, ask him his first name. say something like hi i'm blah...how can I help you and go from there. besides, you say you flirt with him a bit so might as well learn his name. go from there and later, ask to meet or hang out or whatever.
if he already flirts, there's nothing wrong with asking him his name and meeting up with him. Just don't take it too quickly.
If you're flirty and open, the guy will notice, and he should have the courage to get your number... if he doesn't, then maybe he's taken, doesn't have the balls to ask for your number, or just isn't plain interested enough, in which case, you shouldn't want him anyway :)
@GodArt@xanga - There's been studies that show that many (not all) men are bad and misinterpret the signals that women give when they are interested in them. Many times the men switch them. When a woman is interested, they misinterpret it as though they're not interested, or if a woman is not interested, they misinterpret that they are.
@GodArt@xanga - If I had a nickel for every time one of my guy friends has said to me 'I have absolutely no idea when a girl is interested in me" I'd be a very rich woman. It seems like sometimes, they really just can't tell.
@AGraceB@xanga - It'll be a really good idea if there was a guide that would tell us when a girl likes us...
@AGraceB@xanga - @musterion99@xanga - A guy might not be able to tell if a girl likes him if she is way too subtle. I have a guy friend who had no clue a girl liked him, but I don't blame him. She hid it well and didn't want to let him know she liked him. In cases like those, a guy probably wouldn't be able to tell.
But, if she smiles a lot at him, makes purposeful eye contact, finds a way to touch him, asks him lots of questions, I'd think a guy would pick up on it. If worse comes to worst, she could just say something like, "hey, I'm interested." However, some girls are really friendly, and they don't mean to give out that signal. It is confusing, isn't it?
say something flirty like, "you know, you have never told me your name. I picture you as a (insert name). Am i wrong?"
Ahaha.
Xo
As a Starbucks requirement, you have to make the effort to get to know your customers, know their names, know about their lives... what do you do if you work at Starbucks then? Why not apply the same idea to your job instead of waiting for your employer to suggest that or even before he never comes back again :T
if he's interested, he'll make the move.. he may not know your number but he knows where to find u..
i wouldn't do anything
Drop a few subtle hints. I don't know where you work or what you do, but you could do a few nice things that'll make him think about your actions.
Say, if you were a coffee shop waitress you could put a bit of extra cream and sugar into his coffee? Or, if he orders a small coffee you give him a bigger cup size? I don't know lol I'm just throwing it out there.
However I must say that you have to be careful about what you do. You don't want to come off as unprofessional right?
I've never been in your predicament, but this is just some of my thoughts on it.
@GodArt@xanga - It is confusing, isn't it?
It definitely is.
a couple ways to start: "hello, how's it going ... hey, you know, i don't actually know you're name! haha" or "hell-o gorgeous, how's the day been?" if he doesn't like that aproach just brush it off by saying that you're in a really good mood that day. or you could go with the simple "so are you dating?" "how's you're significant other ... what, you don't have one? but you're so pretty!" "hey i got from (this time) to (that time) free, wanna get some coffee?"
get his name first, (there have been good suggestions already made) and one day, when you're feeling bold, just write your name and number on his receipt. if he calls, he calls, if he doesn't then just act natural and blow it off.
be careful though, this is a bold move.
but i think you can do it. ;)
Dude I'm a barista too & I remember this one guy that happened to me for...
Basically I just paid more attention to him than I typically would for a customer.The "hi how are you" works but then if he mentioned something he's doing that day [or you could ask that too] then ask him more about that.Let him know that you know his drink?I flirt a lot by being kind of a smart ass =] haha.[btw the guy ended up giving me his # at the end of the summer & we went on a couple of dates =] but he was moving out of state plus he was like 4 years older than me so nothing really came out of it but it was still fun, his dad's a regular customer too & ended up buying me easy mac cuz he knows I'm leaving for college...just a little side story, haha]
write and gave him a secret admire letter and said some other customer left this for you. (joke)
@GodArt@xanga - You've been around some very aware men, I take it - because that is not an assumption I have encountered before.