Wednesday, 20 August 2008
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I Gave Her Everything - She Took Advantage of Me!
This is a guest post submitted by directionally_challenged.I recently broke up with my ex after a year and half relationship - we actually met through Xanga. At the beginning, we hit it off really well. Sure we didn't seem to have a lot of interests in common, but we dug each other, and that's what counts.
About a third of the way through the relationship, I noticed something was wrong. Generally in the past, my dates would offer (even if they didn't really mean it) to pay for dinners and movies once in a while, but she didn't. I noticed she neither really paid much attention to what I said anymore nor cared about it. I noticed her doing a lot of clubbing and hanging out with male friends. I had some chats with her and I thought she understood what I was trying to say. And she was late ALL the time.
Two thirds of the way through now, I started to get aggravated because nothing had changed - in fact, it was getting worse. I felt like a chump being taking advantage of this way. I figured, "what couple doesn't have little things they don’t like about each other?" and tried to look past it. In fact, I even enrolled us in a few couples' classes to work together and build trust.
Near the end of the relationship, I couldn’t handle it much anymore. Even people around me started to see the way I was being treated. Unfair, unjust, unbalanced. The last thing we did together was a couples' rock climbing class. I had to break things off with her before they stressed me out even more. Unfortunately, we still had 1 more class to attend. I decided it wasn't right to go - I didn't want to go to a couples' class by myself. Little did I know, SHE went with her new beau to OUR rock climbing class that *I* paid for under MY name.
I don't think that's right. People shouldn't attend classes that you pay for, especially with another guy, after you break up with them. It was totally disrespectful and rude. What if I had gone too?
Do you think it is right for someone to attend something you paid for after you broke up without your consent?
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Comments (307)
Thats messed up haha. That was not her place, at all. Pick better women dood.
Yea, you gotta really get to know 'em. You should have noticed those warning signs. What she did is messed up.
find a better gurl..she's just not so right for you..
Wow, that *is* messed up! Look on the bright side though - at least you got rid of her right? Hopefully you've learned your lesson. Better luck next time!
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Xo
that's pretty messed up. good riddance for you.
It was completely in character with your ex.
You let her take advantage of you throughout the relationship.
This post comes across as a bit whiny. - even the title. But glad you finally got rid of her.
Ooh, that sucks. That was pretty messed up of her, from a third of the way through to the grand finale. I think you already know the answer to your question.
I'm so sorry :( It sounds like you really tried to work things out. You sound like a sweet guy and I know someone will appreicate you and give you the reciprocation that you deserve. Hang in there!
You should have gotten rid of her earlier! I think any girl should at least offer to pay, and actually pay sometimes. She sounds so selfish!
Um, no, she definitely should have asked. It's certainly not a crime to use the thing if you have it, and it's better she use it than go to waste, but seriously? Not asking is horribly rude.
Don't worry about her. Just try to remember the warning signs and do better next time. <3
heck no.
DO you want me to beat her up for you? jk
you know... i know some people that know some people that break legs for some people ;D ahaha. man, that was a total bitch move. if i were you i'd end up on the ten o'clock news for beating the living snot out of her... but then again, i'm a girl and i could get away with it, where as you couldn't, hence some reference to sentence one.
but yeah, it was totally uncool of her to do that and completely disrespectful to you. she shouldn't have asked, she shouldn't have gone and especially not with her new boy toy. she's just gunna play him like she played you. oh well, think of it this way: when you take note that things are going south, don't put in more than you should, especially if the other person isn't doing anything to help. just break it off.
you're ex is a gold digger. >__> i can't believe you had a one year and half relationship with her x__x you'll find someone better.
This girl sounds like a money grabber and I'm glad you're out of the relationship!
I don't think it's right AT ALL that she went to the class let alone what she was doing during your relationship!
My boyfriend tries to pay for everything but I don't let him. We have card duals and run to the door when the delivery man comes but he splashes out and buys me really expensive things that I can't afford for myself let alone as an everyday gift.
I think you should just count yourself lucky that you're out of the relationship and that you should find a girl who appreciates your generosity and give you as much respect as you deserve and puts in just as much effort.
That is very messed up. How inappropriate. Although, I guess everything's a life lesson. So next time, when you sense something wrong and you don't feel right... you should go with your instincts... especially when things aren't changing. Plenty of other fish in the sea :)
The girl was way out of line.
But now it's in the past. It seems as though you recognize that you've wasted too much time with her already; don't waste even more time obsessing over it. Learn from this relationship and move on.
That sucks =/ I know where you are coming from though, after being in a similar situation myself. Although in my situation, we never actually dated, but we would hang out a lot and I would always help her with stuff she needed help with. After a little while though, I started to notice that we were only talking when she needed something from me, and she stopped answering when I'd call, etc. I tried to work through it for a long time, but eventually it was too stressful for me, so I cut her off. Hopefully you'll find someone better soon :)
Wow!!!! That's really messed up. :\ Girls like her disgust me. >:(
Well, the important thing is you learned from the relationship. Don't worry too much about what she did. Just worry about yourself and move forward.
you're a victim of being played by a gold digger. Good thing you got out while you could. Good news is that there are better out there... just have to learn from this experience.
I dont see why anyone would want to do that. But there are people that have no shame.
Nope, it was not right. Freeloading off of someone is never good. You did the right thing.
It's ok, just be glad that she is out of your life. Don't waste anymore time on that.
wow that is just cruel - reminds me of this person i know - she takes guys that likes her for granted (as a lot of guys fall for her), always going round other guys even when she has a boyfriend
maybe it's because my situation was easily a million times worse than yours (think entire financial decimation)... but in my opinion, if you're down to calculating the cost of one rock climbing session, then you're being petty.
i'm not saying she's right. because she's definitely in the wrong.
but why the heck would you let something like that get to you? you've broken up. you don't want to go to the class. it's already paid for. does it really make a difference whether or not she attends with someone else? it's not like you're getting refunded.
just forget about her and her freeloading ways and move on.