This is a guest blog submitted by sleepyhead.Naturally my business would be out in the open - I was the captain of the basketball team, and that was the only sport anyone cared about in our school. But I tried to keep my personal life on the down low, just between my friends. People always had a way of twisting things into something it's not and it was better to keep things as private as possible.
My first HS relationship, which started my sophomore year, was the hardest one I've ever had to deal with. My girlfriend was new to the city and school, and we were doing great for a few weeks before people started telling her things about me that weren't true.
They told her I was cheating on her with one of my girl friends. I couldn't believe she would even listen to these people.
When I questioned my girl about it, she told me, "rumors always have some truth behind them," and she wanted me to be honest. I asked her how I was supposed to be honest about something that wasn't true or never happened.
I was furious but I didn't know who to take the anger out on. I found the girls that had spread the rumors and flipped out on them; mind you, I was one of the most reserved people ever, so this was out of the ordinary.
My tantrum didn't help; in fact, it actually made people think I was cheating because I was taking it so hard. It was a lose – lose situation for me. If I didn't say anything, people would have just assumed I did cheat because I didn’t defend myself.
At first I blamed her for not believing me - of all people, she should have been able to believe me. But she had gone through a lot in her last relationship, and her boyfriend had been cheating on her, so I understood her fear. Eventually went our separate ways and the rumors stopped. It was a great lesson for me, though - now I keep my private life to myself. My friends only know about who I date if gets serious.
Do you think rumors have some truth behind them? Have you ever had people spread rumors about you?
Recommend
Comments (41)
Sometimes rumors can have truth behind them. But for me I dont ever take that chance in believeing them at all. I always go to that person directly and ask them what really happened.
I have had small rumors here and there. But nothing to the degree of what you had happen to you.
Yes. Rumours do spread. People's mouth can't be controlled. Sometimes if the rumours are not too distracting, we can always ignore and move on with our lives. BUT if the rumours got too over, we need to make our stand clear.
No, I don't think rumors always have truth behind them. Too often they just have a jealous ex or a jerk behind them.
Towards the end of high school the only way I found out that my boyfriend of nearly two years cheated on me was through a massive grapevine type rumor. Yes, the rumors got ridiculous by the end.. but they had a basic truth in them. He had been cheating on me. It was sort of a slap in the face to realize I was probably the very last person to know - including all of my friends (ONE finally got up the courage to tell me... some friends.)
Bottomline: Don't necessarily believe it. But don't write it off completely either. Go to the source. Talk about it only to the people involved. Don't discuss it with someone new and facilitate the rumor... Nobody else needs to know; it's none of their business. Don't let the people it effects be the last to know, please. That only results in things getting blown out of proportion and people getting hurt.
Rumors don't necessarily have any truth at all behind them, although I think they frequently have some truth there.
I think it's smart of you to keep your personal life private, for at least the beginning of a relationship. It's a good way of getting to know the other person without letting others get in the way. But I think there comes a time when it's also good to share the person you're dating with other people you care about.
Some rumors will have some truthful roots, but that doesn't make the entire rumor truthful. In fact, partial truth is an outright lie as far as I'm concerned.
I've had some VERY outlandish rumors spread about me, probably because like you, I was a basketball star and found myself gaining a lot of attention for which I didn't directly ask. The key to getting through the "rumor-mill" is to always stay true to yourself and to surround yourself with like-minded people. As you grow older, you'll find more people that listen less to rumors and are intelligent enough to think, "Hey, maybe this isn't true just because these people said it is. I better look into this a little deeper.".
This is an interesting question. Most of the time I would say yes, there is some basis for the rumor, but also, things are not always what they seem and that is how rumors get started.
Yes, I have had rumors spread about me and they weren't nice, as a result I am very selective in who I am around and watch what I say to people.
I've been bitten by romance rumors bad before. But through it all I've learned that it doesn't really matter what people think. You know the truth, and your SO should be loyal enough to know and believe the truth as well. Relationships are built on trust, and if they don't trust you, well that's a big warning sign to me. People will always talk and there's nothing we can do about it. So just keep your head up and keep going, you can live above that.
Sometimes there is some truth but in my experience there are many times when it is complete fabrication.
Some rumors have truth behind them, while others are just spread to make a person's life miserable. :\
I've had rumors spread about me. They weren't pleasant and of course, a bunch of lies. So now, I'm pretty careful when discussing certain subjects with people. :\
A lot of rumors are complete falsehoods drawn from faulty conclusions made by people that simply want to add spice into their dreary, pointless lives.
I've heard loads of rumors regarding practically everything in my past relationships, all of which have been completely untrue. It's actually pretty amusing, insofar as nobody that actually knows me has ever taken them seriously on account of how ludicrous the rumors are when placed in context.
Admittedly, I've always been private enough about my personal life that people haven't had anything hurtful to spread that had even the slightest hint of truth, so I guess I got off easy.
haters start rumors because they hate their lives and want the life you're living.
Not always. Ever seen "The Children's Hour?"
It depends on who's telling them!
People tell rumors about me frequently, but they're rarely true. If something is true, I'll tell people openly if they ask, so that doesn't make for very good gossip. But there's rarely been romance-rumors concerning me or my SO (at least since I graduated middle school!)
Ahaha. But I have had my boyfriend's exes try and tell him that I was cheating on him and that they saw or heard about it. LOL. Which is funny, because I dont live in the same state as them. :)
Xo
Aren't those horrible?
Been there, had those wonderful little rumors, all kinds of fun things, and it's always better that when telling people it didn't happen- it's true because you're defending it.
I've never gone though any such thing. I hope not to either.
Rumors usually start by some truth, they just get too out of hand. The rest of the rumors are just made up stories someone spreads around to hurt the person the rumor is about.
As for me, i've had my share of rumors. Mainly that I am easy and innocent so all the guys that need someone to fuck that night so just go to me cause i'll do anything.
Ha.
I ended up proving EVERY guy that tried to get into my pants wrong.
I believe romance rumors usually do have some hint of truth behind them. But your best bet would be to go to the source and find the completely truth firsthand.
And I've had many romance rumors spread about me. All of which were never true of course. The most recent being that a coworker and I have a secret relationship going on. hahah Ridiculous accusations since the both of us are in very serious relationships! (Not with each other.)
Rumors are just things misinterpreted and that the truth is deep in there burried underneath piles false stories.
I've had a rumor spread about me because of the people that I was with and how they acted. Once I distanced myself from them, they quickly ended.
Rumors are just exaggerated, blown-up version of the truth. And fortunately, I haven't heard of unpleasant rumors about me or any rumors for that matter. Thank God, my life's not controversial!
Pathetically enough, I've dealt with one of my ex's exes spreading rumors about me AFTER we broke up and were trying to be friends. It ended our friendship, unfortunately. The fact that he was willing to believe someone so untrustworthy over me was pathetic, and showed that he was just looking to believe bad things about me to make himself feel like a better person - not to mention that he never really knew me at all. I can't be angry at anyone but him, really. But yes, rumors can kill a relationship.
No, rumors are rumors. Whether they are true or not, you can't just assume. I've had people spread silly rumors about me but not about relationship stuff. I didn't care about their crap.
Rumors are spread all the time. I don't believe there's a truth behind rumors. I believe there's a truth you have to seek out in the right way instead of jumping into conclusions.
People have made rumors about me dating someone that I was never even interested in. It doesn't really bother me. It gets annoying when you know that they spread the rumor and they're talking to you face to face about that new girl you're so "interested" in according to them.