This is a guest blog submitted by sleepyhead.I just finished reading a
NYTimes article about jealous exes
who seek revenge through extreme methods. I couldn't help but wonder
what was going through these people's minds as they ruined their exes' lives. The article gives examples of
various tactics used by spurned lovers and the reasons by behind their
actions.
One man took it to the extreme: after stalking his ex-girlfriend
for a few months, he stabbed her to death when he found
out she planned to marry someone else.
One
woman said she became jealous of her ex's new relationship and stalked the couple for weeks because
she couldn't figure out why her ex-fiancé of three years would get married three months after they had broken up.
Then there's the woman who
decided to ruin her ex's wedding by calling the dress designer and
having the wedding dress sent to the wrong address and calling the
caterer to tell them more people were expected than originally planned.
She had to be escorted out by security after sneaking into the wedding.
Wow.
Personally, the worst I've ever retaliated was when I hooked up with my ex's "enemy" in school. It may not
seem like much, but back in high school, the rivalries were intense. It
worked for a few weeks - she became extremely jealous. I went as far as
telling her that I never really cared for her and that I'd been eyeing the
other girl while we were together, neither of which were even true. My ex was furious and started to
argue with her "enemy".
In the end, I realized how immature it all
was - I made a feud worse and created something that I couldn't
understand myself. But as much as I wanted to see her suffer because I was so angry, I could
never stalk or physically harm her - at that point, it's gone to
the extreme.
Do you know anyone thats done something extreme to get back at his or her ex? Have you ever done anything to make your ex jealous?
Recommend
Comments (43)
Insecurities=Jealousy. I cannot stand being with someone who is jealous over anything and everything. It's an ugly characteristic to have, and can lead one to extreme unnecessary actions! Jealousy will drive your loved one away.......
:O I don't want to lose my SO but I wouldn't do that to them afterwards, I would always want them back, and make them happy myself, not make them unhappy.
Course for his ego I pretend that all the girls stare at him all the time and that I have to beat them off with chairs ;)
Ugh. Back in high school, I went out with one of my ex's close friends, partly to make him jealous, partly because I liked the guy, partly because I was insecure. I'm glad high school is now a distant memory and that I'm far less insecure than I was then.
I remember back in high school a girl thought it would be a good idea to key/egg her boyfriend's car because he supposedly cheated on her. Also, my girlfriend (in high school broke up with me because her friend jumped into my arms and I kept her from falling to the ground by grabbing her. Apparently I was supposed to let her fall in the pavement, but whether I liked someone or not I wouldn't have done that. Fortunately, she got over it nearly 10 years later and she's my girlfriend again.
I couldn't be happier...
I've never done anything like that before and I don't even want to.
However, my bf had been stalked by his ex when we first began dating. :\ She would call and IM him constantly. It was insane. :[ Thank goodness it stopped.
Yes, I had one who stalked me for a bit, like a month. Thank goodness I had a German Shepherd who protected me well and attacked him when he tried to corner me while I was out walking her. My dog only let him go when I warned him to stay away from me and he stayed away from me for good. From then on, if a date gets too jealous or possessive, I run. A little jealousy and being a bit possessive is actually good for a relationship. Being over zealous can be suffocating.
I don't think any amount of jealousy is good in a relationship. It all boils down to insecurities (and I'm not pretending I don't have insecuirities myself). Early on in dating, if I spot jealous behavior - he's gone. It's a simple time to weed such folks out, early on.
I don't think I'd ever doing anything like that, but I've sure wanted to. I thought my ex was after my professional rival, and he'd told me that my job was one of the reasons he wanted to break up with me! The worst I considered doing was telling her what he'd said to me. The crazy thing was, I was interested in someone else already and had no intentions of getting back with him, ever, but it still made me feel like shit knowing she was somehow good enough for him but I wasn't.
I had a roommate who was stalked by a jealous ex to the point where she was calling the police on him. I never want to be like that. He was such a creep.
Stalking someone really is going to the extreme when you are upset at someone. I don't think i ever retaliated. It just makes me th ink if I do something terrible to someone, how would I feel if it was done to me? I try so hard to follow the live and let live.
I thought the best revenge was to be happy yourself? If you're griping on such small matters, it occupies your mind and time so much.. why not focus on something that will improve your own life? ruining somebody else's may make you feel good temporarily but in the long run it will not help you at all.
Jealous ex's are not cool to deal with. Thankfully my ex was cool with our breakup though he didn't like it at first. Now though he sees why I broke it off and completely agrees. Others I know though haven't had it that easy. :-/
I dated my ex's bestfriend.I genuinely liked his friend but ...I also liked the fact it made him jealous.Unfortunately they aren't friends anymore..and I outgrew them both.
People that act out on their jealous instincts and seek to inflict harm on others are just plain selfish. Learn to deal with your emotions in more constructive ways and just move on. Find someone better, not someone just to get even with an ex.
I haven't done anything to get back at my ex. When we were over, that was it. I didn't try to stalk him or ruin his new relationship. He, on the other hand, continued to read up on my life via my online blog and then attacked me through text messages when he read something that I did (this was nearly three months after we broke up - he broke up with me!).
I really can't stand him for what he did to me. He wanted things to be over between us so why continue to ruin my life? He just wanted to be in control even after we broke up.
When I was 17 my boyfriend since the 7th grade, decided he didn't want to be with me, but didn't tell me till he had another girl lined up. Broke up with me one night then started dating the other girl the next morning. Then after they got together he felt it necessary to make sure to shove it in my face, by attending my brothers sporting events with her, which he had no reason to attend as they were young and he didn't know anyone else on the team. Then they showed up at my friends birthday party and proceeded to makeout of and be all touchy feely while in the same room as me. Def didn't make me to happy and well I ended up being a jealous teen and did something bad.
After they had been going out for about a month, he started talking to me again and said he wanted to be friends. I believed him at first but then he started hitting on me, and for some reason I decided that seducing him and having him get caught cheating would punish both of them (as I had anger towards her since she knew he was dating me when they started getting "familiar" with one another). So that's what I ended up doing. Looking back on it now I can't believe I did such a thing and since then I never have been so vindictive even after some guys have done even worse things to me. I guess as a teenager I just wasn't as rational.
Sighs. All this in the almost two years as have been together.
People are crazy! I guess you should say "forever" only whenyou truly and whole hearty mean it!
Xo
That is so absurd. This is why one of my first criteria for any new relationship is to find out about ALL his past relationships. Simply the way he talks about them will tell me everything I need to know about how he'll treat me.
And I don't want to date anyone who has ever been jealous, resentful, or hateful to an ex. Even if the guy HAS a bunch of evil exes, I'd want to know why exactly he thought dating them would be a good idea to begin with!
Nope, I love my exes; they're good friends of mine.
I have an ex I'd kill if I knew there weren't consequences. However, on top of that, I don't really want to waste my time.
i dont like playing those games. If the relationship is over, its over and I see no need in wasting my own time and energy in making someones life miserable. How does that benefit me ? I just like to leave the doors shut and just move on.
Whut? Those people are psycho! I'm friendly with all of my exes and there's no revenge weirdness. They wouldn't do anything bad to me, and I wouldn't want to make them unhappy. I guess I've been lucky enough to date sane people.
The most extreme thing I heard of an ex doing because they were jealous was with my aunt. She was stabbed to death. Yeah...
Once I tried to make my ex jealous by telling him how I had to always walk past crowd of guys to get from my dorm room to the bathroom all in a towel. He said he didn't care but I doubt it.
I only have one ex & it was a pretty traumatizing experience. After we broke up, he unfriended me on facebook yet continued to stalk me on xanga by reading all my entries [thank goodness for footprints]. He also went on his roommate's computer when his roommate went to shower & read the logs of our AIM convos. [His roommate was a good friend of mine & didn't have password-protect on then.] When he read something from our convo that infuriated him, he proceeded to message me online about how hurt he was. As a result, I asked his roommate to delete all logs of our convos & set up a password. Then a month later, he read a comment I had left on my friend's xanga about visiting my HS during the break home. I had mentioned when I'd stop by & I didn't think he'd read it but he did & sure enough, he was sitting in clear view of the main entrance long before I showed up. I had to run to escape him after signing in at the guard booth. However, he caught up with me & chased me 2 flights & made me cry in front of my friends. He begged for 5 minutes of my time & I was stupid enough to allow him. He proceeded to "yell" at me & hand me a bag of ALL the emails we've ever exchanged, ALL the AIM convos we've ever had, ALL the letters we've ever written, all the presents ever exchanged. He also pulled out a present he had got for our six-month, another piece of jewelry [he got me a really chunky & extremely heavy heart locket for our two-month, which was too soon & quite ridiculous if you ask me] & he was "yelled" at me for not wearing the first piece of jewelry yet continued to buy me jewelry despite how poor he was. [BTW, he also yelled at me for being "rich" & how unfair it was after we broke up... through messages online & that's when I thought to block him.] After he was through, he stalked off & left my HS & then texted me an hour later saying "thank you for the best time of my life, blah blah blah.."
Then two years later, I find out xanga has the option to publish RSS feeds & discover that he's been subscribing to my RSS feeds even though he no longer shows up on my footprints.. that's when I completely blocked him on xanga. Oh yea, he also talked about me to some girl who's a year younger than me, whom apparently I've never met but knows all about me.
Oh man, was he a nut case. I don't know what I was thinking or what I ever saw in him. =X BTW, he still scares the crap out of me whenever I think of him. So I try not to.. I'd like to think that that relationship never happened.
I never did anything because I'm not that kind of guy nor do I let my jealousy get to me. However, my coworker had her tires slashed and "Fuck You" keyed into her car. Other than that, I have never heard of any other jealous ex stories.
@eternal_dreaming
Your ex sounds like a loser. Glad you're not with him anymore o_O.
~da;klj tapioca miLk~