This is a guest blog submitted by a Datingish reader.I'm all for guys approaching me and striking up a conversation, but
ultimately I think there's a time and a place for it. For me, the gym
is *not* that place.
First of all, I don't go to the gym all decked out in the latest
lululemons or anything trendy, for that matter. Most often I'm wearing
one of my dad's old baseball shirts (two sizes too big for me) and some
track pants. I've usually just rolled out of bed and haven't showered
since my last workout the day before.
When I'm at the gym, I'm either
plugged into the TV or my iPod and reading a magazine. I'm trying my
best to ignore everyone else around me while I huff and puff and push
myself past my personal best. I'm sweating rivers, I probably stink,
and I feel absolutely wonderful. That smile on my face, however, is not
an invitation to strike up a conversation.
Today, for example, I'm huffing away at a major incline on the
treadmill and I'm satisfied with how hard I pushed myself during weight
training. I have my iPod on and I'm halfway through a really
interesting article on the proposed "education of the future" -
personalized computer-trainers that probe and challenge children based
on their aptitudes and needs. Then this guy hops on the treadmill next
to me and says:
"Ckloa ldahy anh?"
"Huh?" I say, pausing my iPod.
"Come here often?" he repeats. *sigh* Why did I turn off my iPod?
"Yeah," I respond, "every day but Saturday." I give a half-smile apologetic look as I turn my iPod back on.
"wlkjoo aloiih maoiwhine?" he asks.
"What?" I grunt. "Sorry, I had my iPod on..."
"What's your favorite machine?" he repeats with a smile, apparently
oblivious to the fact I want nothing to do with a conversation. I mean,
it's different if I don't have music, or if I don't have a magazine, or
you know, if I'm gazing around wide-eyed looking for something to
distract me.
"Uh... I don't really have one, sorry." I say, not overly apologetically and go back to my music and magazine.
"Whatcha listening to?" he says loud enough for me to hear this time.
"Finger Eleven."
"Oh. You like them?" he shouts conversationally.
"Yeah." He wasn't taking the hint. I wish I could stealthily
look and see how much time this guy had put on his treadmill, but I was
afraid leaning in might give him the wrong impression. Instead I stuck
my finger at the paragraph I read last and went back to reading.
"Do you always work out alone?" he shouts.
"Uhhh... yeah... I... guess." I say, a little stunned he was still talking.
"Cool... well my name's Mike. Maybe we could work out together sometime?"
"No thanks. I'm good. Enjoy your workout." I respond with a very
final note in my voice.
Thankfully the conversation ended there and I
could finish sweating in peace, but really? What kind of reaction was
he expecting?
Have you ever tried to pick someone up during a workout? Are you okay with someone trying to pick you up at the gym?
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Comments (86)
Are you kidding? That would be the LAST place I would even think about picking anyone up or get picked up. I mean you said it you could stink and I can't imagine a guy filled with perspiration and reeking with bacteria-filled odour walking up to me and trying to strike a conversation with me. I'd probably rush out to get fresh air!
eee, no. I'm with you on that one.
Ugh, I would hate to be picked up at a gym. I hate talking to anyone while I'm working out, much less a guy who is trying to strike up "something."Â
I definitely never try to pick up girls at the gym and think it's quite lame of guys who do. I'm there to work too and don't want to leave *my zone* while there. However, there are a couple things I want to say.
First, some girls really do want to flirt at the gym and will call guys who want to, but don't, cowards for not trying (yes, there is an inherent hypocrisy here). It's almost impossible to tell the difference between the girls who call you a coward for not trying and those who are annoyed by the very idea of making an effort there.
Second--and I've found myself explaining this one to quite a few girls lately, most girls I've known grossly over-estimate the difference that decking themselves out with makeup, clothing, etc., makes. A beautiful girl who just fell out of bed five minutes ago and is wearing baggy workout clothing is still a beautiful girl, and most guys can tell. Given the choice (assuming I were trying to hit on a girl at the gym), I would always go for the attractive girl who looks like she's there for the serious training than the superficial floozy who obviously looks like she's trying to be the barbie-doll eye candy desperate for attention.
oooh! yippee! u used my post :o)
@Roninsabum@xanga - u're not the first person to mention that to me (the roll out of bed & baggy clothes part)... but i still think the floozies are there to pick up and i'm there to work out, so pick *them* up lol :o)
The gym is sacred. I go there to do my thing and then leave. I never stay longer just to socialize.
Not that I ever go to the gym, but that is the LAST place I would want to be picked up.
Xo
That sucks..
@Roninsabum@xanga - i dont agree with you that girls who wear make up to the gym means they're going there to flirt. i dont have free time during the day so i go after work with make up on from my work day. so it wouldn't be practical for me to shower and wash off my makeup just to get into the "look" for the gym. so not every girl that has make up on at the gym is doing it to be an attention whore. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT THE GUYS. get over yourselves.
I would find it annoying that someone continued to try to converse with me when I'm obviously reading or listening to music and not interested. It doesn't matter where it is. This guy would probably have been just as boorish if you met him at a bookstore or concert.
Come on the Gym ?!?!? I KNOW guys could do better then that,Us Girls are just there to work out not socialize, and Roninsabum@xanga is right just cause we wear makeup were not your little eye candy or trying 2 be.
@iexpLicit_evEe@xanga - the guy you're replying to didn't say that girls who wear makeup to the gym go there to flirt. I don't think you need to be so defensive. He's just saying that some women are there "dolled up" - which could refer to clothes, makeup, etc., anything, to meet men.
Obviously some in your situation happen to be already wearing makeup.
I definitely don't like people bothering me at the gym. It's annoying enough when the staff try to strike up conversations, much less complete strangers. Working out is the one hour in the day it's just about me and I don't have to think about anything else, I definitely am no interested in making small talk.
Ugh yeah... last place I would EVER want to be picked up. I usually have makeup on from work during the day... since I workout after work. BUT even still, my hair is all tossed up and I'm sweating like a pig... I'm sure my makeup is all digusting at that point... I would never want a guy to come up to me at the gym.
And honestly. Having headphones in doesn't deter anyone. Not even people on the street. People still approach me. VERY ANNOYING.
Yet another reason I like to run outside. In the woods. Alone. Of course, if some guy approached me there, he'd probably kidnap me and do worse things than ask me out. I take my chances.
Haha when i go to the gym, i always get people trying to talk to me, which is okay, because it's never anyone trying pick me up. They're all older than me, this year was the first year i was old enough to get into the gym, so i'm basically left alone. I still rather them leave me alone, talk to me at the mall, not the gym.
@lilas1024@xanga - he wrote "the superficial floozy who obviously looks like she's trying to be the barbie-doll eye candy desperate for attention." so he is implying girls who have make up on are seeking attention. like i said it's not always about the guy. it's the gym. why do you have to look a certain way? why is "baggy clothes and messy hair" like the uniform for the gym. some people like to be well kept at all times and it doesn't mean anything besides it's part of their routine and like it that way.
@iexpLicit_evEe@xanga - "baggy clothes and messy hair" isn't *the* uniform for the gym... it's the lack thereof. that's the point. people wear what they are comfortable in at the gym... sometimes it's even a reflection of their confidence level - those in tighter clothes may be just as comfortable as those in baggy clothes... but they're certainly exposing a lot more
@Lindsey - I think it's a good thing when the staff talk to me. I would much rather a little chit chat on my way in/out and between machines with the staff then having them ignore me completely! If they didn't appear warm and friendly, I might not approach them with questions and I probably wouldn't want to return to the gym. And, it's their job. It's gotta be pretty boring standing there watching people work out for 8 hours!
@iexpLicit_evEe@xanga - I think that he was not referring just to makeup. You can wear makeup but still be totally focused, or not wear makeup and still be desperate for attention--through what you're wearing, or the way that you behave when you are there.
I usually don't wear makeup to the gym, but that's because I work out before I get dressed in the morning. I honestly don't know how to answer this question because it hasn't happened to me; the gym I used to go to was not heavily attended by guys, and when I'm home I usually work out at home (it's free!).
i go to an upscale gym where majority of people look good and they look are fashionable.. i don't really dress up per say to go to the gym but i agree that gym is not exactly the place where i want to meet a guy..
@iexpLicit_evEe@xanga - I get what you are saying.
@iexpLicit_evEe@xanga - Fair enough. I think you have a legitimate point if the reason for having makeup on at the gym is because you just came from work. In retrospect, I have heard this before. However, there are still more than enough girls who do doll-up for the gym. I've seen them, I've known them, and they admit to it freely. Note also I said these are NOT the kind of girls I'd be interested in.