This is a guest blog submitted by a Datingish reader.Recently, I was having a conversation with my older cousin about men
and their mental ages. I would never EVER desire a man any
bit younger than me; to me, most men seem much younger
than their actual age compared to women .
A group of friends and I went on a trip with a male friend of theirs. I didn't know him very well, but I noticed right away that he acted like a child almost the whole trip even though he's out of college!
My cousin argues that
no matter how much younger or older men are, because
they all act the same way regardless of age. That's why she
doesn't mind dating men who are younger than her, she explained.
Do men mature mentally at a different rate than women? What do you think your mental age is?
Recommend
Comments (50)
I think I'm pretty mature but laid back at the same time. I do think that alot of guys can be very immature compared to women. I'm not gonna lie and protect them lol
Men are most definitely less mature than their age. For a brutal example, I had a boyfriend who was 26 but behaved like a 16 year old. My current boyfriend is 24 and much, much more mature, but I find that you HAVE to date an older guy for his maturity level to be somewhat acceptable to yours.
It's sad I suppose but younger guys are so juvenile and immature, they drive me insane. Especially since they've had less experience than you and are all excited and jumping the gun on stuff. Huge turn off.
Mature men for the win.
My mental age? Fuck, I have no idea. It depends on which aspect of my mind you're discussing. In general, if I had to pick a number, I'd say early or mid-thirties. Old enough to be sufficiently serious, but young enough to enjoy my life, albeit in a serious manner. For instance, I feel too old to go out and party and whatnot. I much prefer an interesting job, a good book, and a steady boyfriend.
However, physically, I'm 19. It's a pretty sweet combination.
I think guys generally are pushed too hard to be "real" men, so they end up getting stuck in an adolescent phase. There are one or two men I know who are younger than me but mature enough for me to date. The vast majority of them, though, have a lot of growing up to do, especially those who haven't been to college yet! I mostly prefer to date men a bit older than me, but not too much. If he's too much older than me, then I'll have expectations that he should have achieved what I plan to achieve by that age. If he's around my age, then it will be sufficient for us to be on the same page.
It has nothing to do with men or women. People are generally immature idiots, and you are an idiot if you think the majority of either sex could possibly be acting maturely.
I know when they're younger, girls tend to mature faster than boys. Whether that immature, or young, mentality sticks around depends on the person. Sometimes I think I'm a little immature for my age, and I'm a girl. By the way, according to brain age I was 20 one day and 27 the next. I'm 19, my brain is too old.
@haloed@xanga - I don't necessarily think that you have to older to be mature. Both guys and girls can be immature.
i'll admit that many guys are not as mature as you would expect. i've met many ladies that refuse to date guys younger than they are for that reason.
I think both guys and girls can be immature. There might be studies showing that guys mature at a slower rate than girls, but that doesn't leave girls out of view.
As far as me, I've been told that I'm very mature for my age, but I can enjoy time without acting like a 5 yr old. It is really annoying when people act immature compared to their age. I don't care if you're a girl or a guy, it's really annoying. You can have fun, but don't act like your twice less than your age.
I think both sexes are capable of maturing mentally at an equal rate. I think it really depends upon upbringing and environment. I think some families tend to discipline their boys less and utilize the "boys will be boys" mantra while at the same time disciplining the girls more severely for their misdeeds. Perhaps it's a pervasive sexism that still exists within this country today.
As a result of some of these discrepancies with discipline, the rate of maturity will be affected. I think this could explain some of these notions that men often appear less mature than their similarly aged female counterparts. There are a host of other potential reasons, but I thought I'd point out this one.
I feel that there're occasions where it's okay to be immature (stuffed animals being one of them). That being said, I don't think there are significant differences in terms of maturity at a later age, and frankly, I've seen my share of women that are far less mature than they should be (both older and of similar ages).
@XxNoLifeKing_AlucardxX@xanga - I agree for sure, they can be, but in my experience, at the same age, men are less mature than women.
It does suck, because you can have a crush on someone since grade 3, go into high school with them and they're a dinky idiot drawing penises on their desks while you're thinking of the romantic date followed by make-out sessions that you could be having that friday.
Course I'm out of high school now and have been for 5 years :P but that's what it's like. And in college they aren't too much better... they're like WOO BOOBIES, while girls are like, thinking of what age they'll get married.
(for the most part)
i think i'm a mature and level-headed person that belies my age for males (college/post-college). I think most dudes surprisingly are.
but guys like to ACT immature. I think a man's
reaction to growing older is to act younger (and thus stupider). i don't know what women do when they feel like getting older, but men tend to act younger and stupider (mid-life crisis, stuff like that)
@haloed@xanga - I think that's more of a mentality issue. In my experience, men don't tend to think quite so far ahead; a man with a ten-year plan for exactly how his life is going to go is rare.
It doesn't even really have to do with maturity, so much as, well, perspectives.
@haloed@xanga - ROFL I agree with you in so many points. I can respect that. It is based on your experience. I do think college doesn't get any better. I have classmates who are thinking on how to score, add pictures to their wall of shame, or look at girls boobs. I don't know what's so great about it. Of course we're attracted to them, but you don't have to act like a dumbass.
in terms of getting things done and creating a balance with each other. maturity is good.. but for chillin and hanging out....to quote the now infamous line.... why so serious?
i definitely dont think im mature for my age. but fuck it. who cares. everyone experiences things differently and grow up differently. in certain areas, the next person would be more mature than you and vice versa.
i think men mature differently than women. that's why there's always conflict. but finding that 'maturity balance' with each other makes it all worthwhile.
I used to say that it would be impossible to date a younger guy solely based on this whole mental maturity idea. The idea is wrong. People are different, and the generalization simply does not work in this type of situation. My current boyfriend is younger than me. I was hesitant to go out with him because of this, but I've learned that his age has absolutely nothing to do with who he is as a person. I believe it's the same for everyone. Some people have experiences that force them to grow up at different times, regardless of physical age. Throwing out the rule about not datine someone younger than me is the best thing that I ever did for myself. Forget about maturity vs. age. It's ridiculous. Just get to know the individual instead.
I think a lot of guys don't really mature very much. But I also think that most guys who do mature are just able to let loose and enjoy themselves better than women are. I've noticed that many women will call any number of things that guys do for fun immature just because its the same kinds of things they did as kids and ignore that that playing can relieve stress and make them less likely to crack up later on.
the mature slower, sometimes never....that's my opinion.....
@yakko1@xanga - Well said.
A lot of women say men are very immature just because they laugh at fart jokes. A lot of us men will find jokes of poor taste to be funny well into our elderhood, but it's hardly indicative of how mature you are. If you take me for example, I will laugh at some really stupid stuff like the first 5 minutes of Date Movie, but at the same time, I'm employed, I pay rent, I cook, I do chores, pay bills, am a good friend to hang around with. Just because I might ask you to pull my finger does not equate immaturity.
I can be quite silly, but I'm not at the borderline of being a little kid. I'd like for people to treat me the way I'd like for them to treat. I wanna punch guys who think that acting immature toward the girl they like (to the point that just annoys them) is cool. Grow up and get better strategies -.- They're some of the guys that make us look bad.
@Pterota@xanga - definitely agree
i see plenty of immaturity from both men and women on a daily basis, but id have to say us males probably take the prize 9 times outta 10. as for me personally, i like to think im pretty mature for my age, and I know in many ways I am, but admittedly if drinking and gambling are combined I act about 8 years old or so. but that's why i only do those things around a couple of the guys from work on our own time.
My wife and my mother sound so much the same. When I was growing up physically, Mom often said that she had "3 boys", my Dad included with my brother and me. My wife says that God hasn't given us any children yet because she already has a little boy at home (moi). Maybe so, maybe not. Atany rate, I, too, have seen a lot of immaturity on both sides. My wife acts like such a little girl when we're at home or with family, and especially so when she's with her childhod or church friends. I guess we all have a little immaturity in us....
For my person, hwoever, I've decided to never grow up, in many respects. I kinda' like the old "Toys R Us" Ad: "I don't wanna' grow up, I'm a toys R Us Kid....!"
i have to agree, most men mature slower than women do...but there are a few out there who can grow up.
i think everybody can do with a little immaturity sometimes...if you're totally adult all the time you'll get a dry and lackadasical personality.
oh, and my mental age? hmm....i'm 16, but i guess sometimes i'm about 18 or 19...but then other time's i'm about 14....and then some other times i'm just 16....so i suppose i'm just 16.