This is a guest blog submitted by sahar. I met this guy over
four years ago at a camp for prospective med students (yes, I was going
to go to med school, but that ended horribly). We'll refer to said boy as
V. It was a pretty nerdy affair, but nerds can be fun too!
We
were very young and going through "that stage", so naturally we kissed
a few times and had a little summer fling. At the end of camp, I went
home to New York and he went to New Jersey.
We stayed in touch
over the years...a few phone calls every now and then and AIM
conversations usually once a week. After about a year of staying in
touch, we drifted apart. A few days ago, however, V decided to IM me.
We talked for a while, discussing our post-high school adventures. He
went to Rutgers College and joined a fraternity.
He told me
that he knew I had moved into the city and he'd planned on coming in for a couple
of days. He wanted to meet up and asked if I wanted to go to a party
with him.
Obviously, I said yes - he was an old friend and I
have no problem meeting someone from the past. I was also a fool four
years ago, so it would be nice to show him how I've changed.
I'm
excited to see him, but I can't help but wonder if he has any hidden
intentions behind this get together? After nearly three years of not
talking, he decided that we should get together, sounds a bit sneaky to
me... what do you think?
Recommend
Comments (33)
i think if you have to overthink it...scrap it...i mean, sheesh...can't a guy ask and so what if he does have a 'motive'...everything we do is for some motive or another, but if you are bothered then just say no....
guess he wants to see if the spark can be rekindled... if it turns out to be exactly his intention, you're still at liberty to reject him, unless you're amenable to it and wanna see how it goes
Whats wrong with hidden intentions? =)
Just relax and see how it goes. His attitude could be just like yours, your an "old friend" and he has "no problem meeting with someone from the past." If he does want to start something, you have a right to say no. If he doesn't, you'll just have a good time.
Well you reserve the right to say no if he tries to regain what you two had in the past. Personally, if you're just looking to have a good time, I'd say go and hang out with him. He may have changed too, and since he's an old friend, you shouldnt have a problem telling him no and he shouldnt have a problem accepting it either. You're both mature enough to make your own decisions, so whatever motive he has behind wanting to meet up with you, as long as you know your motive, then you'll be fine. Go and have fun!
Yep.
go have fun, like they said....you can always say no. [shrug]
go with the flow. At times, there are "intentions", but it could be something simple "what if's" that they're thinking. It could potentially benefit you as well.
Maybe, maybe not. Just go have fun, and enjoy the partay. :)
'So what' if there were other motives? Perhaps he just wants to rekindle something. If he's single and you're single, then why not? It's not like you're obligated to take him home with you at the end of the night or anything. If you have a great time, then so be it. If not, then don't feel obligated to hang out with him and excuse yourself from the party. It's no biggie.
I know a girl who lives in Hawaii. We had a cute little thing when we met on a chorus trip in New York. I don't exactly directly know anyone else who lives in Hawaii, so if I ever found myself on a trip there, regardless of the fact that she's cute, I would call her and see if maybe she could show me around town (even though she has a boyfriend now).
In my opinion, I think he's just doing that - he wants to show up at a party with some one he's familiar with, so he's not some stranger from Jersey on his own in a foreign place. But I could be wrong. Either way, unless you have a boyfriend, why care? The point is, you're going to a party - have fun, and if there's chemistry still, there's chemistry, and if not, hey, you went to a party.
I wouldn't overanalyze it... Just go with the flow :)
Don't judge before you get there. His intentions could be wholly innocent.
who knows? could be or could not be hidden intentions. some ppl just want to meet up with their old friends. :D
i think it's kinda sketchy, but that's just me.
He could have the intention on getting you ridiculously drunk and then taking advantage of you...
or he could just want to catch up and see you in person again.
he could have had one of those, "hey! i haven't seen or talked to this person in years. i miss them kinda.. we should catch up.." moments....
That's not exactly the most romantic date. I wouldn't expect anything from him- other than his wanting to hook up with you. But if you still want to go to the party just to party (and not totally for him) then go. Otherwise, if you feel uncomfortable, then screw it.
yes he wants booty. Deny him booty and tell him he got served.
You really need to think about it, and follow your feelings. You can never assume, but it's not bad to keep it on the safe side.
That does sound awfully suspicious, and unless you don't wanna end up being someone's one night stand, you should tell him how you feel about it.
ha i had the exact same scenario. i recently hung out with one of my 'exes' from camp after not talking for years. but she was in the same city for work and we decided to get together for kicks. we were kids when we were 'together' so it was completely innocuous. at least it was on my part. i hadnt talked to this girl in like years either.
then i went to dinner with another ex after not talking for a good two years and it again was completely innocuous.
both times, i didn't agree to go because i wanted 'booty', i just wanted to catch up. it's fun.
uhm... severe paranoia... and a little too much self-absorbed thought.
it's not all about you.
unless he's some sort of scum (which i can't determine from your post), it's not unusual for people to want to reconnect with friends from the past.
i'm visiting an old friend in a couple months... someone i lost touch with over the last 12 years.... i'm actually flying across the country to visit him. but there are no ulterior motives on either side.
wow
sounded just like mine..
um..
id say there might be some hidden intentions
but most important thing is how YOU feel towards V.
if you just wanna be friends..
then nothing should really matter..
but since you brought it up and everything..
it sounds like you got something for V.
and if you do
i'd def. suggest you be blunt and just say it..
well of course. if hes not single
then nevermind
but as in me..
when i met up w/ my summer fling again
(this happened like. years ago)
i actually opened up
and told him how i felt.
and then we went out
had a great relationship.
well you can always take it as a normal meeting up
and see where it leads to right?
I say, dont over think it.
but if you arent interested in him like that; just be honest with him so he doesnt get the wrong idea.
Xo
I don't know, why don't you go find out for yourself?!