By
Miss Double ShotI noticed that a fair number of people who replied to the
text message breakup post said that they'd either been dumped or been dumped via text.
I'm 23, and I felt like I was about 104 when I read all those responses. While I love texting, I think there are certain subjects that will always have to be discussed in person - does that make me old-fashioned?
Here are the top five things I'd never tell anyone over text:
- I think I'm in love with you
- I'm pregnant
- We need to break up
- I'm moving
- I have/someone in my family has a terminal illness
What's your top five list, or would you be okay with texting any of these?
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Comments (36)
let me help you out with feeling old...i don't text, don't know how, don't want to know how....i'm older than dirt, btw
I agree with your list except for the last two. Sometimes saying that a family member is ill is really difficult and sometimes the last thing you want is pity.
That's a very good list! My boyfriend's sister-in-law recently had her baby and I got a phone-picture-message letting me know they were born. I wanted so much to call them up and talk to them, but didn't know if I should since they didn't call me...just messaged me.
"Look behind you."
I kid.
Although now that I think about it, that could be sweet, not creepy if instead of a guy in a hockey mask with a machete; a girl got that text and turned around to see her guy standing across the room with flowers, holding a sign that says "I love you more than words can spell, happy anniversary." or something... or like the slide-show written messages that Kiera Knightley got at her doorstep in Love Actually.
Ok, cheese I know.
For some reason, this reminds me of Carrie and Berger in SATC, regarding his breaking up with her on a Post-It Note.
Too bad they had to off Ron Livingston like that, I love that guy.
I think even telling someone for the first time that you love them should be done in person, no texts, no emails, not over the phone.
that's a pretty good list... can't think of anything else i'd add.
@the_last_kiss - so cheesy! but kinda cute. and yeah i love ron livingston too. i was pretty bummed they made him into such an immature jerk. who was bad in bed. :\
"we're getting a divorce." - lamest thing to say through text. by the way malaysian males can do that to their poor wives (considered legal by their courts or smth), or so i read somewhere on bbc online.
No way would I text any of that above list. Preferably if I could, I'd rather announce any of that stuff in person than even over the phone.
I definitely could never tell anyone those things in a text message. Although I prefer to have most conversations in person.
I'm in full agreement with that list.
I'd also include such things as 'I lost my job,' 'car crash, bbl', etc.
For the record, I think it'd be amusing to get a text saying 'car crash, bbl', but I think I'd be a little bit worried.
Although I love to text, it should be only for fun.... texting personal information takes the value out of information that would have been better said in person... The 5 are definitely top things I would never tell anyone through text
I'd be offended if someone texted me to say that someone had died.
"I'm engaged/getting married." Was super thrilled when my college roommate told me.
depends on the circumstance. Maybe I can't see the person, so I'd have to text 'em or something. Otherwise, I agree with your list.
that list also applies to over the phone notification.
better said in person. it makes it so many times more real.
Ha, in the other datingish post I just said that I hate when people text me serious, big things. A friend of mine recently texted me that her cousin was kidnapped and I was like "why would you TEXT that?! That's a huge deal!"
I think that #4 is the only one on this list that would be ok to say in a text or in person. The others should be said in person.
@forgottenrevelations@xanga - LMAO "car crash, bbl." i laughed out loud when i read that.
Ugh, those are all pretty poor conversation starters--the last two would only be semi-okay over text if you're already in some sort of "text conversation" and the other party actually asks about it.
I don't think that's old-fashioned. I'm 17 and feel the same way about texts. Anything via IM/e-mail/texts seems so impersonal. Saying those other 4 things in the list via text seems just as wimpy and inconsiderate as text message breakups. I would feel obligated to respond in the same manner, via text, but I would want to discuss unreciprocated feelings of love in person. Via text, love confessions seem less sincere, and telling someone you don't love them back makes it seem like you think so little of their feelings you couldn't even bother to put up with your own discomfort and awkwardness to talk to him/her face-to-face. (Ah, I need to refine my abilities of generalizing statements without resorting to use of 2nd person pronouns.)
I'd include stuff like...
1. love confessions/telling your S.O. you love him/her for the first time
2. family death, family's and/or your own illness(es)
3. admitting infidelity
4. past convictions?
I dunno. I never texted often when I had a cell phone. I didn't have a texting plan, and I'm too frugal to pay $.20 to receive lame messages like "zzz bored lol," which really don't inspire me to respond with something that would initiate a brilliant conversation.
A guy I was seeing texted me that he loved me. The strange thing was, we had only been seeing each other for less than a week and the only correspondence we'd had in the 2 days prior were some rather sketchy emails - no phone calls, even though he had promised to call. Needless to say, the "relationship" didn't last and I highly suspect that the "I love you" text was meant for someone else.
What's listed there in the entry is good enough in my book. :P
well i understand where all of yall are comin from but like with the last guy that i dated, we didnt see each other much and i mean i met him before we started dating. But like he asked me out over the phone we basically talked on the phone 24/7 whether it was thru a text message or in a phone call. so alot of things had to be expressed over the phone. like our first BIG fight was over the phone. i love you for the first time was said over a text ( not by me by him, he was the more of a poor your heart out one, as for me i was the one who only did it when i was drunk type) but i totally agree with all of those except the last one. DONT tell someone in person that your friend or family member has a illness because the last thing that you want is for the person to wanna console you and you dont even wanna be touched, then that turns out bad. but i totally agree 100% with those.
I think it really depends on the person. I am NOT a talking on the phone kind of person (I know, I know, a girl that doesn't want to talk on the phone is shocking...hehe) so I pretty much live my life on text messaging, even with my Mom, who uses Blackberry Messager (BBM for those in the know) and texts with me all the time. That means that some pretty serious things get discussed on text messages. Personally, I find there are some things that are just too difficult for me to say outloud but that have to get said...that's where it comes in for me. I think it really is dependent on who you're talking to...some people will have long discussions over text and some won't. I think which of the two you're dealing with should dictate the "level" of what you can say to them in those messages.