This is a guest blog submitted by sahar.I was watching reruns of one of my favorite TV shows, Friends - more specifically, the episode where Rachel and Phoebe discuss their backup guys if they're not married by 40.
I have no idea what's going to happen in the next 20 years of my life, but it would be comforting to know that even if I don't find the love of my life, I'll have someone to get married to that is one of my best friends. My sister who's ten years older than me is terrified of not being married by 40.
Do you have a backup plan if you're not married by a certain age?
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Comments (66)
My plan is to be married by the time I'm 30.
I don't have a back-up plan.
I should though...
I suppose if I'm not, then I'll live with either my sister or my dear friend and become the cool aunt.
I'm adopting kids of my own if I can't tie the knot. I'll work for them and give them what they could never have.
Not at all. I'm only 20 so I'm just going with the flow and not really into making these types of plans yet. Maybe I will when I'm out of university and am more settled down in life :)
I doubt I will have an issue being married by the time im 40, let alone 30. I'm pretty confident in my date-finding abilities. However if I didn't get married or if I chose not to get married I would probably adopt as well.
If one of my close guy friends wasn't married yet either and wanted to be, I might marry him, actually. And adopt kids or something. I want the family life and I love my guy friends very much, if not in a romantic way. We'll see.
silly girl - your best friend should be plan one...
I've always thought that was a pretty nifty idea to marry some guy/girl friend you've known, but the idea kind of freaks me out. If anything, I've already begun preparing myself mentally for a lonely life ahead. *sighh*
terrorism.
definitely not.
I don't think I could ever do that. A "backup plan" wouldn't work for me for marriage. If I don't meet the guy someday that completely blows me out of the water by his amazingness, then I'll stay single. I want...I expect too much out of marriage to settle for "next best". I want to be as deeply in love, if note more, on our last day together as I am on our wedding day.
I set my sights high, I know.
I don't have a back up plan, and I don't think I'll be making one up anytime soon lol. I'm confident about my dating abilities. Also, I don't think not getting married at a certain age or whatever is a huge deal. Well, at least not to me.
I think this is a uniquely female problem, as most men I know feel confident that we won't have to settle for just anyone until we're like sixty.
Gosh, why have a backup plan for marriage? I don't see marriage as a necessity, but more of a positive thing that could happen, if I meet the right person. Why marry the wrong person just to be married? I love my guy friends, but I wouldn't want to marry any of them.
I'll be 25 next month and I'm plan on getting married before I am 30. As for back up plans...I don't have one..I'm going to take things a step at the time and just have my fun with it.
this doesn't make sense to me...
if the person you're willing to seriously marry if it doesn't work out by the time you're 40, should be the person you marry. if the both of you are thinking about it and agree, you might as well get married now.
so funny - this was also the plot to My Best Friend's Wedding!
...hmm..never thought about it. The idea of a backup plan just seems absurd to me. I mean, I guess if being married by a certain age is really important to you, then I guess it's ok. As far as me, I wouldn't really make any sort of backup plan. I'm getting married when I think I'm ready, I've found the right person, and I can financially support a family...I'm not gonna put age boundaries...lol hey, I could get the lottery! then the financial part would be over and done haha
Um. No? I think that's silly.
Though, I'm only 19, so I guess that might be part of it.
@AGraceB@xanga - Thank you! This is exactly how I feel!
@FireMapleSong@xanga - You're right. Also, men don't stop being able to have children naturally like women do.
@lauralen@xanga - That's how EVERYONE should lead their life. If you can't find someone who complements you and makes you happy, then stay single!
@Nikolais_apprentice@xanga - You could also go through IVF or just get a turkey baster...
why have a backup plan for marriage? see that to me would just seem like..."well it didn't work out with my first choice...I'll just settle for the next" which seems like you're just settling for lower expectations...marriage should be about just letting it happen and finding the right person. You shouldn't make a deadline out of it. I don't know, even if the backup was a best friend, I think it would be weird to say they're "the backup plan" This is the person who you'll be spending the rest of your life with so why not really spend it with someone you really want.
I have two friends who are a year ahead of me in school. They hang out a lot and are close. They both say that if neither of them is married by 30, they will marry each other. I think they might secretly want to, but the girl dates like crazy and has a pretty steady boyfriend right now. They're both currently 21.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - turkey baster? And if I didn't want to have sex with the guy, I don't think I'd want to go through all that spending time and money and effort and stuff to have his children. Besides, there's plenty of children out there who need loving parents.
i don't, but i wish i did. but i think it's hard enough for married couples to stay married, let alone two people who aren't romantically interested in each other to stay together for the rest of their lives. i don't think it would be a good idea.
I always joke around with one of my good friends that if I'm still single at 28 that we're going to get married even if he's not single =P Sometimes I wonder wouldn't it be funny if we did end up together.
i guess i wouldnt know..im getting married tomorrow..
absolutely not. If I haven't gotten married by 40 all that means is that either I'll find the love of my life some time later in my life or that I am just not meant to get married. Its that type of thinking, marrying someone who you're nor really even in love with, that causes this high divorce rate.