Deception has never been my thing, especially to women. I've always been sincere and honest when approaching them. I knew how to talk to them and keep them engaged but this was on a different level.
A referee at one of my intramural games recommended the book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss. The book is about Strauss' journey into the life of a pickup artist. Personally I would have never thought about using such a thing, but the referee swore it had changed his life. My buddies were blown away by it - they wanted to try it and the idea did seem intriguing. The thought of techniques being used to get women had never entered my mind. I wanted to try it.
After reading the book, I wasn't sure what to make of it. These techniques and methods almost seemed manipulative. Having to remember all of them seemed like work. But I did understand the fascination with his book. So many guys who normally don't have the courage to approach a women, can now do this by following simple steps. Look at what Neil is doing to Jessica Alba as Jimmy Kimmel continues with the interview.
If you look closely at Jessica's reactions, she's falling for his game even though he's not trying. Her quip comments are a sign that she's genuinely interested. At 6:51, she bites her nail while staring at him. Girls don't usually do that unless there's something grabbing their attention. She even went as far as interrupting Kimmel a few times to say something to Strauss. I want to be able to do that, but at what cost?
My friends decided when we get back home, they would do this at some of the bars/clubs, to see if it works. They told me it was just like Hitch, except they didn't need someone to help them, they were helping themselvs. I wasn't too sure about it. I wanted to be able to talk to all these women, but I didn't want to deceive these unsuspecting women of the true intentions behind our actions. Do I continue to be the straight forward honest guy and hope for the best or use every technique I know to get these women?
We don't like them screwing with our heads, lets not do it to them either. By the way, the techniques work. They're just not meant to be used for the wrong purposes.
There's a lot you can do with Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
If I were you, I would just try it on my own. Sooner or later, you'll find your match(meaning someone who won't fall for such things) and then you won't know what to do. Have confidence on yourself. Unless you just really want to keep picking up women again and again, that's your decision. If it were for me, I wouldn't pay attention and trust my instincts.
If you're not comfortable with it, then don't do it. Simple. I applaud that guy for bringing up that book and so on, but I honestly wouldn't bother with it. It's just not worth it. I'd rather do it myself sans the book, and learn how to actually approach women on my own instead.
If you don't feel fine doing it and if you can get girls without then forget about it.
Sometimes, if you work through a book or someone else's plays, they start to fall for that instead of the real you.
If I were to pass by this book at a Borders, I wouldn't even bother looking at it. Congrats to the guy who made it, but it just isn't for me. I'm not the type to go pick up girls or anything like that. I like to go with the flow of things. So, you need to decide what type of guy you wanna be as far as getting into relationships and such.
Like the_last_kiss said, I think most guys wouldn't like for a girl to keep playing games with his mind. Likewise, don't do it to them.
I'd love to say that we women just want you to be you, come up and just talk to us! But then I'd be lying, bc approaching us is akin to a job interview any way you look at it. Women worth having see through the bullshit, and unless you want to maintain the front for the rest of your relationship...really, do you want her to like you or the fake player you're pretending to be to have the guts to talk to us?
And when we figure it out, it always ends badly. Ugly, and not only are you back to square one, she's told every woman she knows, and you're blacklisted.
But if you come to us confident (not cocky), dressed well, talking to our eyes and not our tits, your chances for success increase tenfold. That, however, doesn't mean we won't say 'no', but I pretty much guarantee that percentage will go down.
Then again, this all goes down the tubes if you pick a chick who's just in it for sex, too, but most of them need less convincing.
Quality women require work. But so do quality men (just to level the playing field there).
Wow, hope there was something useful in there somewhere.
"She even went as far as interrupting Kimmel a few times to say something to Strauss"
I think she was just bored. She isn't used to NOT being the center of attention.
@awokenfatality@xanga - definitely, you don't want the girl to start falling for something you read off someone else's works. The relationship is just gonna be bogus.
i wrote an entire entry on this seduction community. it's mind manipulation. and women may fall for this initially but eventually it fails b/c she doesnt see you for who you are anymore...it's a facade. don't use this trickery to talk to women...as neil says in the book it's 'mental masturbation' - (yes i've read the book and yes i even know real pickup artists in real life)
If you start out a relationship playing games with a woman, you're opening up the door for trouble. Guys hate it when girls do it and vice versa. It tends to cause much more trouble than you think it will. Maybe it could give you the confidence to talk to a couple of girls who you wouldn't have been able to approach before, but maybe when you get there, they will realize what you're up to (or not, and just decide that your Game Face isn't so appealing) and you'll blow it anyway. Most women prefer a man who is genuine, even if Strauss's little mind tricks might get her attention. It's hard for them not to when the basic first approach is to attack her self-esteem. Do you really want to use something so negative and manipulative anyway?
As a girl who read the book, I hesitantly applaud Mystery for figuring out how to do this. Yes, it is manipulation, but it is only manipulation if you're abusing it, like these men did to simply get laid and turning it into a game. If you're going to use this to honestly open up a girl that you have genuine interests in and want to get into a relationship with, then fine. But you better stop playing with them the second you have their attention. That's when the honesty and personality should start. The girls should like you for who you are not because you know how to bend their minds.
The point of the negging if done by a truly honest person and not a bastard, is kind of like a conversation starter honestly... It's to grab people's attention. Who doesn't tease people they kind of like anyway? Seriously... It's just knowing the lines and when you've gone too far... Do it right and maybe you'll get the girl you like and she'll like you for who you really are.
Or maybe I'm just deranged =P
Anyway, I highly recommend this book to anyone. It's very very interesting.
sigh...don't play games...what is the point? if she falls for you because of a game, what have you gained (unless you are a pig and just want another notch on the bedpost, in which case...go for it...)
Honestly, it all depends on how you use it. I'm kind of with Jessica Alba in that it's simply the intelligent way to hold conversation. If you are curious about a girl's personality, you should be asking her to sell herself to you.
Then again, I had a roommate who was an amazing pick-up artist and was a total peacock. He developed his own game and it worked on the right girls.
If you're like me, however, even this sort of thing seems boring. What's the point of being able to use techniques to win over women? Doesn't that make it just as boring as women who make themselves readily available to you? And thus the logical conclusion of learning how to win the game is - the game grows boring and you go right back to waiting for some one you actually fall in love with.
Wow, that sounds really nihilistic, doesn't it?
Just be yourself..no need to be fake about it..women loves guys who are honest..no need for games..we are tired of games.
Did you ever watch the Pick-Up Artist on VH1? I mean, the techniques they used worked well for picking up women, but if you're interested in actually seeing them again, I'd stick with being yourself. I mean, you might have to use a FEW of the techniques to get her attention, but using it for more than that can quickly spiral out of control...
@TigerWolfBaby@xanga - i'm not the teasing kind, and that usually takes spontaneity, although I can definitely come up with them, saying them out aloud to the object of my affection is another matter... it's all about the delivery, and I doubt I can ever pull it off well
I think times have changed alot and I can see some truth to this...
lol I say have fun..use the book to see what kind of women you pull in with it... because its better to get it out of your system so that you wont wonder later on the what ifs.... just keep an open mind about what feels right... I dont think that its necessary to tell all the women unless there is someone that genuinely interests you... and in this case, I would hope that you take the book out of the equation all together
well, the book is not a how-to guide. more like an expose to the underground world of PUAs.
It is a toss up... one of those things that can be evil or good. just depends how you use it.
i know that for myself, i wouldnt mind using some of these tactics to be more comfortable in approaching women. i absolutely freeze up and dont even talk to any of them.
I heard it said once that "how you get him is how you keep him". So basically, if you start out a relationship by playing these games, you'll have to keep it up in order to keep the relationship going. And to me, that sounds like way too much work.
It also sounds to me like you aren't really comfortable doing this, in which case you should just scrap it and continue to be genuine and be yourself.
Lastly, games tend to be the m.o. for guys who want to get "women", and if you are looking for an actual relationship, they don't work quite so well. If all you want is a lot of attention, some ego boosts and a series of flings, I guess these techniques will help you out. But if what you want is a genuine relationship, just keep on being a genuine guy.
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Comments (42)
If it ain't genuine, bro... don't do it.
We don't like them screwing with our heads, lets not do it to them either. By the way, the techniques work. They're just not meant to be used for the wrong purposes.
There's a lot you can do with Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
If I were you, I would just try it on my own. Sooner or later, you'll find your match(meaning someone who won't fall for such things) and then you won't know what to do. Have confidence on yourself. Unless you just really want to keep picking up women again and again, that's your decision. If it were for me, I wouldn't pay attention and trust my instincts.
If you're not comfortable with it, then don't do it. Simple. I applaud that guy for bringing up that book and so on, but I honestly wouldn't bother with it. It's just not worth it. I'd rather do it myself sans the book, and learn how to actually approach women on my own instead.
If you don't feel fine doing it and if you can get girls without then forget about it.
Sometimes, if you work through a book or someone else's plays, they start to fall for that instead of the real you.
If I were to pass by this book at a Borders, I wouldn't even bother looking at it. Congrats to the guy who made it, but it just isn't for me. I'm not the type to go pick up girls or anything like that. I like to go with the flow of things. So, you need to decide what type of guy you wanna be as far as getting into relationships and such.
Like the_last_kiss said, I think most guys wouldn't like for a girl to keep playing games with his mind. Likewise, don't do it to them.
I'd love to say that we women just want you to be you, come up and just talk to us! But then I'd be lying, bc approaching us is akin to a job interview any way you look at it. Women worth having see through the bullshit, and unless you want to maintain the front for the rest of your relationship...really, do you want her to like you or the fake player you're pretending to be to have the guts to talk to us?
And when we figure it out, it always ends badly. Ugly, and not only are you back to square one, she's told every woman she knows, and you're blacklisted.
But if you come to us confident (not cocky), dressed well, talking to our eyes and not our tits, your chances for success increase tenfold. That, however, doesn't mean we won't say 'no', but I pretty much guarantee that percentage will go down.
Then again, this all goes down the tubes if you pick a chick who's just in it for sex, too, but most of them need less convincing.
Quality women require work. But so do quality men (just to level the playing field there).
Wow, hope there was something useful in there somewhere.
"She even went as far as interrupting Kimmel a few times to say something to Strauss"
I think she was just bored. She isn't used to NOT being the center of attention.
@awokenfatality@xanga - definitely, you don't want the girl to start falling for something you read off someone else's works. The relationship is just gonna be bogus.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - lol that's funny which is perhaps right
@daeshii@xanga - great response...no pain no gain =] gotta work for it instead of reading some stuff that worked for someone else
oh yea and no offense man, but if I were a girl, I'd think you were a loser for reading "pick-up" books.
@XxNoLifeKing_AlucardxX@xanga - yup I agree
i wrote an entire entry on this seduction community. it's mind manipulation. and women may fall for this initially but eventually it fails b/c she doesnt see you for who you are anymore...it's a facade. don't use this trickery to talk to women...as neil says in the book it's 'mental masturbation' - (yes i've read the book and yes i even know real pickup artists in real life)
If you start out a relationship playing games with a woman, you're opening up the door for trouble. Guys hate it when girls do it and vice versa. It tends to cause much more trouble than you think it will. Maybe it could give you the confidence to talk to a couple of girls who you wouldn't have been able to approach before, but maybe when you get there, they will realize what you're up to (or not, and just decide that your Game Face isn't so appealing) and you'll blow it anyway. Most women prefer a man who is genuine, even if Strauss's little mind tricks might get her attention. It's hard for them not to when the basic first approach is to attack her self-esteem. Do you really want to use something so negative and manipulative anyway?
As a girl who read the book, I hesitantly applaud Mystery for figuring out how to do this. Yes, it is manipulation, but it is only manipulation if you're abusing it, like these men did to simply get laid and turning it into a game. If you're going to use this to honestly open up a girl that you have genuine interests in and want to get into a relationship with, then fine. But you better stop playing with them the second you have their attention. That's when the honesty and personality should start. The girls should like you for who you are not because you know how to bend their minds.
The point of the negging if done by a truly honest person and not a bastard, is kind of like a conversation starter honestly... It's to grab people's attention. Who doesn't tease people they kind of like anyway? Seriously... It's just knowing the lines and when you've gone too far... Do it right and maybe you'll get the girl you like and she'll like you for who you really are.
Or maybe I'm just deranged =P
Anyway, I highly recommend this book to anyone. It's very very interesting.
sigh...don't play games...what is the point? if she falls for you because of a game, what have you gained (unless you are a pig and just want another notch on the bedpost, in which case...go for it...)
Honestly, it all depends on how you use it. I'm kind of with Jessica Alba in that it's simply the intelligent way to hold conversation. If you are curious about a girl's personality, you should be asking her to sell herself to you.
Then again, I had a roommate who was an amazing pick-up artist and was a total peacock. He developed his own game and it worked on the right girls.
If you're like me, however, even this sort of thing seems boring. What's the point of being able to use techniques to win over women? Doesn't that make it just as boring as women who make themselves readily available to you? And thus the logical conclusion of learning how to win the game is - the game grows boring and you go right back to waiting for some one you actually fall in love with.
Wow, that sounds really nihilistic, doesn't it?
Just be yourself..no need to be fake about it..women loves guys who are honest..no need for games..we are tired of games.
Did you ever watch the Pick-Up Artist on VH1?
I mean, the techniques they used worked well for picking up women, but if you're interested in actually seeing them again, I'd stick with being yourself. I mean, you might have to use a FEW of the techniques to get her attention, but using it for more than that can quickly spiral out of control...
@TigerWolfBaby@xanga - i'm not the teasing kind, and that usually takes spontaneity, although I can definitely come up with them, saying them out aloud to the object of my affection is another matter... it's all about the delivery, and I doubt I can ever pull it off well
I think times have changed alot and I can see some truth to this...
lol I say have fun..use the book to see what kind of women you pull in with it... because its better to get it out of your system so that you wont wonder later on the what ifs.... just keep an open mind about what feels right... I dont think that its necessary to tell all the women unless there is someone that genuinely interests you... and in this case, I would hope that you take the book out of the equation all together
well, the book is not a how-to guide. more like an expose to the underground world of PUAs.
It is a toss up... one of those things that can be evil or good. just depends how you use it.
i know that for myself, i wouldnt mind using some of these tactics to be more comfortable in approaching women. i absolutely freeze up and dont even talk to any of them.
I heard it said once that "how you get him is how you keep him". So basically, if you start out a relationship by playing these games, you'll have to keep it up in order to keep the relationship going. And to me, that sounds like way too much work.
It also sounds to me like you aren't really comfortable doing this, in which case you should just scrap it and continue to be genuine and be yourself.
Lastly, games tend to be the m.o. for guys who want to get "women", and if you are looking for an actual relationship, they don't work quite so well. If all you want is a lot of attention, some ego boosts and a series of flings, I guess these techniques will help you out. But if what you want is a genuine relationship, just keep on being a genuine guy.