it's usually me. how can i blame others when i'm the one who never has successful relationships? i don't personally think sex is a big deal in a relationship. if everything else is great, it doesn't matter.

I don't necessarily thing that I have any bad areas in the relationship (but I'm not saying I'm perfect because I'm not). But usually, when I was in my last relationship, I always listened, I have great conversations with her, I take her out to dinner and stuff, I'll be nice and stuff. The only thing I guess I need to work on is assertiveness in the dating world, because that's one area I was tossed into suddenly. I learn to be accepting of flaws because like I said, no one is perfect.

In a relationship, if the sex was bad, first thing is to always try to make it better. Sex shouldn't be the top priority, or eve the second or third. But when it does come down to it, you can always coach each other to be come better. Or, watch more pr0n. Hahahaha.

My biggest problem is that I've got those annoying trust issues. I've been burned before (yada yada yada ;] ) and part of me is always ready in case it happens again.

It can get to the point where I will have a perfect guy and just expect him to screw up.. or since I'm not used to having nothing to get upset about, I'll start nitpicking little things. I really try to keep things in perspective and be appreciative rather than apprehensive.. but it takes work. I'm improving :)

As far as sex goes, it is most certainly not everything. You can always spice up your love life; sex can always be improved. The question is do you like the guy enough to stick it out and work on it? I would hope the answer is yes more often than not... I don't really know how I feel about sex if you don't like him enough to live without it.

If you're in a great relationship but having bad sex, really...

You need to train your partner.

It's possible because if you two have the kind of empathy that's required to be in a great relationship, you two also have what it takes to have great sex.  All it requires is tapping into the deeper part of themselves that maybe they're unaware of themselves.  That, and communicating what it is that the two of you enjoy.  The raw potential is there -- the great relationship shows that.  It just needs to be guided and translated into great sex.

Sometimes the sex can't be improved though.
There's many factors that can be controlled but alas chemistry isn't one of them.
I find it odd that even though I've had much better sex with guys after my ex, the chemistry between us made it so much more.

But whatever, lol.
I don't know what my biggest problem is when it comes to relationships. At first guys said I was too clingy so I backed off physically and communication wise, A LOT.

So even after this guys still said I was too clingy, so it got to the point where I would generally call only when they called me and I missed it, or twice a week with a minimum 3 days in between each call (e,g, monday then saturday).
At this point I don't even think it's me anymore.
They just lose interest.

it's much easier to make the sex in a relationship work, rather than taking good sex and trying to make a relationship out of it. sometimes people aren't experienced or just are unused to expressing themselves physically, but if you're a good boyfriend or girlfriend, you'll be patient and open to communicating with your significant other about things. also, it's better for everyone if you talk about what you enjoy (rather than criticizing what you don't like). besides, it's much easier to get a random lay than to find a relationship that's worthwhile, so if the sex isn't as good as you think it should be, you and your partner owe it to each other to make it work!

ive been dating my bf for nearly 2 yrs and this is my longest relationship thus far and counting. my biggest problem area before him was simply finding a guy I could connect and someone who understands and accepts me. I felt like I couldn't tell every other guy I dated everything, but I can tell my bf anything and we always talk through any problems we have. I think that's important. If someone walks out on you because they're angry about something you're talking to them about, it's a big problem.

Generally it's me that has issues. I have pretty high standards when it comes to guy (personality, intelligence and looks are very important to me). I tend to keep a lot to myself and he tends to see right through me. I think that if you can talk about everything, then every issue can be solved if both parties want it to be solved.

As far as sex, can't complain :) But if it's bad, i don't think it's neccesarily a deal breaker. It's an issue that can be improved upon.

@tialoca_talks Well, some people don't just naturally know how to work in a relationship. It's not a chore...some of these things people really deal with. Plus some of these comments, people are saying their opinion, not that it really happens and it's a huge issue.

To me, sex isn't a HUGE aspect in a relationship, although I do agree that it is important in its own way. If you really have a problem with it, you need to find a way to work it out together instead of pointing out what's so wrong about it.

Sex shouldn't be on the top list of a great relationship. If there's a problem, you need to find out how to work it out. No one is born with the knowledge of knowing things. There's a way to teach someone. If not, then you need to reconsider what you're doing with that person.

Maybe it's just because i'm a young 'un, but it really depresses me that sex seems like the most important thing in the world.
Like, really?
That's all I have to look forward to in life?
Not freedom or happiness?
Sex?
Okay.
That's great.

sex is important but it has to be built upon trust and mutual satisfaction.
getting to know someone takes time...don't rush it like i did.
don't over cook the relationship.

@BroadwayBound93@xanga - Don't worry...there is more to life than sex.    No one even paid me to say that.  lol.