Tuesday, 05 August 2008
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Single And Doing Fine, Thank You
This is a guest blog submitted by melsie.
It's been 3 months since I've been in a serious relationship, but by the way some of my friends keep trying to set me up with "the coolest dudes on the east coast," you would think it'd been 300 months. I love being in a relationship and the feeling of being in love, but for the first time in a while I'm riding the "single highway" and I think it's creeping some of my friends out.My last relationship ended in a sea of emotional pain, and I'm not ready yet to enter the dating big leagues yet. Why can't I just enjoy being single for a bit without it turning into "OMG! Girl, why aren't you hooking up with anyone right now?"
One of my friends thinks that there is something wrong with me for not liking any of the guys she's tried to hook me up with over the past three months. I told her that I'm really not interested in getting back into a serious relationship right now, and it has nothing to do with the guys she's tried to set me up with.
Do you have friends who feel like they always have to be in a relationship? If you're single, do your friends constantly try and set you up with someone?
And, last, is it wrong to enjoy being single?
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Comments (74)
My friends have been banned from setting me up. Doesn't mean they don't try though!
I don't think it's wrong to enjoy being single. It gives you a great sense of independence, really. At least, that's how I see it.
I'm constantly trying to be set up or encouraged to go out with someone cuz I'm getting "old". I really don't mind being single, and of course I wouldn't mind being with someone either. Each has its own advantages. I just embrace the good qualities of either status. In the end, I'm sure I'll be with someone. As human beings, we're innately sociable, and we have to be surrounded by someone we love and vice versa.
”It is difficult to say who do you the most harm: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best.” :)
There is nothing wrong with a little time to focus on yourself! Love yourself, take care of yourself. I enjoy being single as much as I enjoy being in a relationship. Live it up, enjoy it, and don't let anyone force you into anything!
well, look on the bright side...
at least they're not saying, "STAY single...PLEASE."
It's a focus on what you really want. Sure, they try to be good friends and set you up with guys, but really, it's the "I'm the Better Matchmaker Than Anyone Else" game I think they are playing. Nothing wrong with it, but just tell them you need the time to enjoy single life and how it felt.
Me, almost 2 years out of a relationship and still looking, but there's nothing wrong being single.
NOT ONE BIT!!! i love being single more than relationships, actually. Good for you for not caving into your friends plans for you, well done! :)
I don't believe it's wrong to enjoy being single. I've been single now for a year and 4 months.
Don't get me wrong, I really wouldn't mind being in a relationship because the trend kind of gets old sometimes, but for the most part - I just look at it as a day closer to falling into a relationship.
No one should feel pressure to depend or NEED to be with someone.
My best friend recently jumped from one relationship to another within days and I can see that she's still carrying emotional baggage. I told her that she should be single for a while so that she can just be independent and not have to constantly dwell on silly boyfriend problems. But since she likes the attention she gets from having a boyfriend, being single is the last thing she wants.
my best friend ALWAYS has to be in a relationship and if she's not, it's the end of the freaking world. I'm totally enjoying being single right now. I'm dating casually a bit, but I am so not ready for anything serious.
i've known many girls, one in particular who used to be my best friend, who seriously could not be single. as soon as they'd break up with one guy they'd immediately move on to another. i thought that that was completely ludicrous.
of course it's not wrong to enjoy being single. it's better to be able to enjoy being single than to feel you have to constantly be in a relationship. it shows that you can make yourself happy and you don't have to rely and become dependent on someone else for happiness.
I just wrote a blog on this. Just like you, my last relationship ended horribly. I gave my heart to him... and I don't think I'm ready to start up a relationship again. Going from one relationship to the next was all I used to do. Being single seems like a good thing right now.
Not that my friends think so. It's always, "Aww, I'm sorry that you don't have anyone." or "Well he's your best guy friend, right? Why don't you go out with him?!". They don't understand that I'm just not interested in being with anyone right now! I think a girl wanting to remain single is still a little out of the norm. Ah well. They'll just have to deal :P
Peace&love,
Brooke
My friends tired to hook me up with boys and non of them were to my liking.
Xo
no, it's wrong to hook up with strangers and not even like them.. but you do it just because its the 'thing' to do. how else do u think america is the #1 for std's. dont get in the boat with a guy unless you like him and are willing to go on a date with him. its okay to be single, it's not a sin!
my guy friend is trying to hook me up with a guy and he's best friends with my boyfriend. it seems like he's curious if i'll take the bait. i think anyone will push u to date someone because they're the ones who are extremely lonely.
keep ur head up and as long as you're going forward in life, you're fine. dont let people push you around or make you do something you dont care for - especially some guy... who could have chlymidia! sorry for the grossness but its true.
i like being single. i dont need to check with someone if i want to do this or that. i have enough trouble taking care of myself and being in a relationship means making sacrifices that i dont really want to make right now.
it's ok to be a little selfish
I have friends who always want to be in a relationship, but generally, I keep them distant, because they're not as focused on their OWN life - they just want to live for someone else.
While I agree that it's all lovely and happy to be in a relationship, I don't believe that relationships are necessary for happiness. Anyone who believes this probably has severe dependency/self-esteem issues.
I have, however, tried to set up my single friends, not because I think they need a relationship, but because they would like one to complement their existing lifestyle. But I only do this upon demand.
And NO, there is NOTHING wrong with being single or loving it! If you can be happy where you are, then no one should ever tell you that you need someone else in your life.
Heehee... I feel your pain... on a greater level.
I'm 18, and I've never had a boyfriend. Not for lack of opportunity, not because I never wanted one, and not because I wasn't allowed. It was my own choice to remain single all throughout high school.
My earlier years of high school were filled with relationship drama... from my friends. I was always dragged into it somehow or another. But after experiencing enough of that, I decided dating high school boys was not for me. Of course, I was badgered quite often by friends, but it didn't matter. And I did like several guys during my high school years and I still like one guy in particular who I've had my eyes on since Sophomore year.
Was it hard to be single? Sometimes... especially at school dances when everyone else was paired up. Or at those cold football games when everyone was snuggled up with their S.O., while I was sitting with the other single people, trying to have a good time.
But looking back on high school, I'm really glad I decided to stay single. Being single helped me focus on what was important. And it saved me a lot of heartbreak. There is nothing wrong with liking being single!
I think that being single is a great time to better figure out who you are as a person. I'm convinced that if you can't enjoy yourself while you're single, your future relationships will have problems.
i wish my friends would set me up!
I'm a serial monogamous but I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be single. My younger sister is very much like that. She has never had a real boyfriend. She will go on dates but does it to have fun and isn't looking for the next relationship at all!
The ironic thing is when you're happier being single, people find you more attractive. At least, in my experience anyhow.
Good points. :)
I honestly don't see why being single is such a bad thing. Some people act like you've been cursed.
My boyfriend was single for 2 years before he started dating me. He enjoyed the single life: no restrictions, no drama. He's really picky and is one of those who'd rather stay single than commit to something he knows that's doomed to fail.
I have another friend who openly admits that she's never single, and its true. I've seen her date each guy right after the other. I feel kinda bad for her because she's never experienced the joys and liberation of the single life, but she's happy which is the more important thing.
I think being single after a relationship is necessary. It's "me-time" where you get to focus on what you want and heal from the past relationship. Please and pamper yourself, and take as long as you like for having put yourself through that hell because in the end, its only you that can really make you happy.
being single is the best!
don't let them convert you!
Good for you. Stay single. Dont let your friends pressure you into a relationship. You have to be ready, and seeing that you arent fully comfortable with the idea of a new relationship is perfectly fine in my book! Singleness rocks doesnt it? I mean not having to worry about someone else all the time is a nice relief eh?
single is great! you have all that time to focus on your friends and family, and most importantly, on yourself! you never know when you're going to find the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, so you might never have this chance again to spend so much time and energy on you and only you! live it up! :) I really can't stand those people that have to ALWAYS be in a relationship to feel complete.