This is a guest blog submitted by sahar.As I was browsing
the internet, I came across an advertisement that said "Married but
Looking?" I was immediately intrigued by this obvious double standard,
so I clicked on the link. Turns out it's a dating website made especially for males
who are into having discreet relationships with married women.
I couldn't believe what I was looking at - a website that actually promotes cheating.
Personally,
I think cheating is immoral. Both my sister and I have been in
situations where our SOs have cheated on us, and speaking from our
experiences, it's painful. My ex-boyfriend cheated
on me, but it was worse for my sister - it was her fiancée! I remember how hurt she was, and
they weren't even married yet.
But to continue on making that lifetime
commitment, only to turn your back on it because you have an urge to
sleep with other people? You shouldn't be getting married in the first
place.
I remember how demeaning it was to have my boyfriend
cheat on me. I had been with him for over a year and I convinced
myself that, despite our flaws, we were perfect - after all, you have to learn to cope with the
flaws in a relationship.
When I
discovered he was cheating, I didn't blame him; rather, I blamed myself. I
wondered what I was doing wrong to have this person who I gave
everything to betray me. I compromised myself and my beliefs to stand
by his side for a little bit longer.
After that disaster of a
relationship I vowed to never hurt anyone like he had hurt me, because
no one deserves to have their self-esteem crushed.
What would
you do if your SO was cheating on you? Would you immediately break up
with them or wait and hope that the problem goes away?
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Comments (85)
break up! how could it get better? i'd still have memories of him cheating. if it got better and i had amnesia, then maybe that would be ok.
I have to say that it depends on the situation. I've had times where I threatned to cheat to make him pay more attenion to me. And I would follow throught.
I would walk out the door and never look back. I don't need someone that doesn't love me and doesn't respect me enough to leave a relationship to be satisfied elsewhere.
I would be furious and break up right away. There are many flaws that I'm willing to overlook but cheating is more than just a flaw. When you are in a relationship, you make a commitment. If you can't keep that commitment, then you should not be in a relationship.
I'd break up with him and move on. I'm better than that
It's hard to predict how you'd actually react in the situation if you've never had to deal with it, but I imagine that I would have to break up with him. I think I could actually forgive the cheating, but I don't think my trust could ever be restored to a level that could make any relationship work. I do believe that people don't cheat if they're with the right person for them. That doesn't mean that you did anything to deserve being cheated on. It just means that the relationship was never meant to last. So, hopefully, if things are right, I'll never have to make this decision.
If he does it once, there's always a chance he'll do it again. I have a no-tolerance policy in relationships.
I love myself entirely too much put myself through hoops and jumps to stand by somebody who clearly didn't appreciate me for me, but wanted me to be some sort of a "resistance" system for him to feel like he has no other option BUT cheat. That's just bS. clearly he is an idiot with a circular argument and the best way to free him of that is to set his ass free. :)
Break up. I tolerate lots. But ifnfidelity is something I just can't deal with. It probably has to do with my parent's divorce... Then again only 8 yrs with the same person... Let's talk again in 15 yrs. XD
I'd say peace out!
I wouldn't tolerate cheating. Once my SO cheats, it's the boot for him.
kick him to the curb...and then shoot them both....
Well my SO my freshmen year of college did cheat on me with a "friend" and 12 other friends knew about it, but didn't feel it was their place to tell me. Anyway, one friend let it slip and the cat was out of the bag. I was extremely hurt that him & my so called friend would betray my trust like that. The breaking up part was easy, but I HAD to know WHY. He gave me this lame excuse about us having a huge fight, he got drunk, thought about breaking up with me, cheated, and then decided I was too good to let go. I almost punched him and her in their faces. I will NOT tolerate cheating and I wouldn't cheat on anyone because that is terrible and unnecessary pain. End sob story lol
DEPENDS ON THE REL'P; IF HE'S A BOYFRIEND, WE'RE BREAKING UP, CUZ HE'S OBVIOUSLY NOT READY TO BE IN A COMMITED MONOGOMOUS REL'P. A HUSBAND THOUGH IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT, SO I'D WORK TOWARDS FINDING OUT WHY IT HAPPENED AND WORK ON IT IF IT'S POSSIBLE. BUT IF HE CONTINUES TO DO IT, THEN IT'S OVER.
It really does depend on the couple...Sometimes getting back together will work (it didn't for me when I was in this situation), but it would be difficult to rebuild the home when someone is already playing house with someone else.
If it were too apparent to be missed that my boyfriend was cheating on me and I hadn't done anything wrong, I would dump his ass in a matter of New York minute. If it were on a more serious level, like say, a fiancé or a husband, I'd confront him, make him pay, then leave.
I don't accept cheating. Not now. Not ever.
I don't think I could handle being in the relationship after something like that. I don't think I could stick around waiting for things to get better
Break up. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal.
If I was in the situation, I would break up. No one deserves that pain just because they didn't have the balls to break up with you in the first place before sleeping with someone else. "Once a cheater, always a cheater." That phrase may not be entirely true, but you can never be sure.
As a jealous and protective typical Scorpio girl.. I wouldn't be able to handle a SO cheating on me. I would break up, but I would be so heartbroken. :(
My heart goes out to all the people who have been cheated on. :(
i would love to say that i would break up with them and try to salvage what was left of my dignity, but the truth is.. i would stick by him and pathetically enough, try to show him how much better i am than any girl he could cheat with.. it sounds desperate, but i am just being honest.. i think just making a clean break is best way to go, but that's not always so easy
Man, it's 2008. Everyone cheats. Get with the times. j/k
A few dozen kicks in the balls, with high heels on, and then dump him. =)
"Life is short. Have an affair." Didn't see this billboard, which was all over LA, huh?
I'd break up immediately. When you cherish something, you gotta make sacrifices between the two. If someone can't understand that or respect me, then bye bye. I don't need that in my life.