This is a guest blog submitted by mikeljason.Dating can be tough at any age or stage in life. It's hard enough to ask someone out when you're 15, and it doesn't get any easier as you get older. I bet the pressure doesn't let up if you're a single parent in
his or her 30s, 40s or 50s, either.
Divorce rates have been lower than usual in the past couple of years, but
single parents still make a up a large percentage of moms and dads out there, so single parents dating isn't that revolutionary of an idea.
My mom did a little dating right when I got to high
school. I remember that part of me felt super happy that she was kickin' it
with someone she liked, but another part of me wasn't so happy about it and wondered who this dude was, taking my mom out and taking her away from me.
Of course, in the end, my mother
wasn't taken away and her boyfriend turned out to be a really
sweet guy. I was glad my selfishness over my mother hadn't gotten in
the way of her meeting and being with someone she liked.
How would you feel if one of your parents started dating?
Would you be upset, happy or indifferent?
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Comments (22)
My parents have been happily married for 20 years. Longer than they haven't been married. So, I really couldn't say, but I don't think I'd like the idea.
My parents are married, but i dont think i would mind. Sure at first id be a shock "oh my god, mom/dad isnt with mom/dad anymore" but id get over it once i saw they were happy.
I dont think I'd care. For the most part, I'd just get to know the person they're dating and then be indifferent as long as my parent is happy and the person they're dating is a good person. :D
It'd be a little weird at first, but I'd be happy for them.
My mother is remarried and unhappy. If they were to end things and she was to start dating, i probably would be weird about hearing about there dates and what not. I would be happy though, she deserves to be happy.
I've always wanted to be indifferent towards my parents' dating, but it's close to impossible. My mom's boyfriend isn't my father, and I let him know whenever possible. My dad's 2nd wife... I'd have liked her to play mom, but she was only ten years older than I was, and it just didn't work. Shit really hit the fan in high school. My dad's girlfriend have two kids of her own, and while I was hoping my dad would be helping me through my teenaged break-ups, drug use, all the crap that I wanted my dad to be there for, he was taking his girlfriend's kids out for icecream and movies.
It gets better once you're out of the nest I think. :) Though the perspective might change between boys and girls. My fiance is still very protective of his mother when it comes to her boyfriends. Who knows, it's different for everyone!
my parents are married.. with that being said, i think if i were a teenager, i wouldn't like it.. but now, i would be understanding and more supportive because i would want my dad and/or mom to be happy..
My mother has been with her current boyfriend for over 4 years.
It felt weird at first, but then I tolerated it soon after.
The important thing is that my mom is happy and I'm glad that she has someone who can be there for her through difficult times.
On a slightly different tack, I really don't think people whose parents are married can understand the situation enough to comment on how they would feel...
When my parents got a divorce about 9 years ago, my mom started dating almost immediately. I don't exactly remember exactly how I felt about the process because I was in second grade at the time, and she mostly went out with guys when I would stay with my dad. Still, I think that for the most part I liked the few guys she dated before she met my now-stepfather, and didn't really have a problem with it. My dad, though, took a different route. Apart from his now-fiancee and one other very serious girlfriend, my dad didn't really commit to any long-term relationships. He mostly hung out with the younger crowd, usually people aged 20-25, and dated very casually. It kind of weirded me out a little that he, a man of 33, had girlfriends that I seemed to be more mature than (A lot of them were only with him because he was a fireman and therefore saw him as sexy by default [not that I'm saying that my father is an unattractive man]. TAll they wanted was to party.). He dated that way up until he was about 36 or 37, when he finally decided he was getting too old to go out with 20 year olds. A few years ago he started dating his now-fiancee, a woman only two years younger than him with three kids. Thankfully my sister and I have known them for years and were already friends with her kids before she and my dad started dating.
So, if the single parent has children still living with him or her, the parent should make sure that their children don't hate the parent's date with a burning passion and are not too weirded out by the whole thing before a single parent considers itemhood. I think they should also keep the children informed about their relationships. Nothing like, "Ashley and I are now fornicating on a regular basis, and I think you should be aware of that in case she spends the night some time," but I think the parent should tell their children who they are currently dating and how serious the realtionship is. Like, "Ashley and I are going to start seeing eachother more regularly, and she is probably going to be more involved in our lives in the near future." All in all, a parent has the right to date, even if their children aren't okay with it, so how they handle the situation is pretty much up to them.
*Disclaimer - I don't see anything wrong with people who date younger or older, but you have to understand that it was weird for me as an elementary school child to have my dad dating people usually about 13-15 years older than me.
If my dad started dating again, I think I'd be happy, depending on the type of woman he brought home. If she was anything like my mother, I'd be terrified, for my dad's sake.
My parents have been married for 20 years. I don't know how they've managed to keep it together for so long, though. I remember when I was younger, around eight, I used to hear them argue and wonder to myself: "When are they going to get divorced?" Yeah, I was a pretty astute eight year old.
I used to think about what it would be like seeing them with other people. I used to come up with little scenarios in my mind to sort of ready myself for when that day came. But it never did.
I don't think I would care if they divorced and started dating other people though. Whatever makes them happy is fine with me, as long as the other person doesn't annoy me or anything like that.
But my parents are still going, so I guess I won't have to worry about that. For now.
as long as the new love interest doesn't try too hard to win me over and isn't always in my face, i'm pretty indifferent. i just want my parents to be happy.
but for now, since my parents are still married to each other, i'd like them to just stay out of the dating scene.
initially it's kinda awkward but i think it's a good thing for the parent to move on.
Well, in my case, it was that my mother always chose the wrong guys (and not by my opinion or anything, but the type that used women, or did drugs), so when I was close to her, I hated it. Now that I live with my grandparents, I still hate her dating and for one reason only: my little brother. With the many horrible boyfriends she had (almost 100 I am sure) she ruined a lot of me and my sister. I don't want to see my brother go through that. She dated one nice guy for one date (I loved him, and he would have been good for her) but she threw him aside. He was caring, charming, good-looking, and even had money, yet she threw him aside, going back for her bad boy druggie types. Sad really.
If my brother wasn't living with her, then I wouldn't care anymore. It is her life, and I understand if she wants to mess it up, but when it affects her children's lives, then no.
I think I would be happy for her because she has finally found someone she actually likes and finally get my side. It would feel a bit weird at first though because it's going to be like "What? You're old! You can't be dating!?! You're my mom! Gr!" lol But I'll get use to it.
luckily my mom isn't interested in trying to date again, if she was though, i hope she'd just wait until i was out of the house
i'd be chill with it until the boyfriend/girlfriend tried to replace the other parent.
My parents have been divorced since I was 5, so I don't really remember them together. My mom started dating another guy when I was about 7. I do not really remember how I felt though. I think what hit me hard though was when she announced she was to be married to him. I had secretly wished and hoped and prayed for my parents to get back together (as I'm sure most little kids with divorced parents do, unless they realize their parents aren't compatible, but since I couldn't really remember them together...). So, she was married to him for 5 years then they too got divorced. Well, so by this point, I'm 14. When I was 16 and had gotten my first boyfriend, my mom informed us that she was dating our neighbor (my boyfriend realized this and told me long before my mom told me, but I was too naive and didn't want to accept that my mom might be dating someone again...especially him). So, I found out that they were dating and was pretty indifferent and kind of like "well, whatever...". I guess I was kind of upset though at the same time...I don't really know. So, she dated him for a couple years and got married a year ago (when I was 18). They're still on their honeymoon, basically...and pretty happy together. I really hope she has finally found her perfect man though.
Now, on the flip side...my dad. He has dated some, but not gotten married like my mom. I think I was more upset about his dating someone because I've been "daddy's little girl" and such. Also, I don't really like the way he dates, so...that's part of it. *shrugs*
I used to be ok with it but when they came to live in I wasn#t that thrilled cause it was just sort of uncomfortable for me. Depended on the guy too, how he treated my mom, if ever he said something to her I wasn't that tolerant. It wasn't even like they were bad guys, just maybe some sarcastic comment or something bothered me more than if it was just say a couple who were my friends. That's about it. I have to say that overall I was more protective about my mom than my dad.
I wish my Dad had told me when he started dating after my parents split. Instead he just showed up at my house one day telling me he was getting married in two months.
My dad's been dating for a while and my mom just started dating...it's been really hard on me in both cases, I think because some tiny part of me only wants them to be with each other, even though I know that's never going to happen. Plus I really don't like either of their significant others, especially not my mom's.