What's acceptable when it comes to PDA?
We talked about it last month, but this reader took a different side of the argument.
This is a guest blog submitted by sahar.Some people claim that kissing in public is allowed, but making out is not. But then again, you always see that couple who just can't stop groping each other. Some people may think it's adorable, while others think it's grotesque.
I don't mind PDA, but I know when I'm out with my more conservative mother and we see a couple fondling each other the look of disgust on her face is unforgettable. I would hate to see her face if she ever saw her daughter engaging in such activities...
Sometimes it can be very difficult to control those emotions! After having a few drinks in us at a party, my boyfriend and I ended up getting very touchy-feely. One thing lead to another and we ended up parading our lust a little more than we were used to. We both assumed that because we were at a friend's house, it wouldn't be much of an issue - well, we were wrong. Our intimacy made our single friends very uncomfortable and for the rest of the night we got eyes rolled at us. Since then we've toned it down for the comfort of others.
Some may say that they shouldn't have to hide their emotions in public and that they want the world to know about their love. But others might disagree, saying that passion is for private and displaying that type of affection is completely unnecessary.
How far would you go in public? Have you ever been "that couple" engaging in PDA?
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Comments (48)
Whenever I'm out in public with my boyfriend, we just kiss and hold hands.
We don't take it any further than that.
I always abide by the rule that I won't do anything I wouldn't want to see. And I don't need to see people groping each other and playing tongue tennis in public.
i used to make out with my bf ... in hs! or, when i'm drunk. but if i'm sober and in a good state of mind, i don't do more than a peck and hold hands.
holding hands and hugging.. maybe a peck.
that's as far as I'll go. I used to date really touchy feely guys that wanted to make out in high school halls or streets. never again.
depends where in public. with friends, holding hands, hugging. at a party. definitelymaking out. as long as the people around you are comfortable, i think anything goes. but farthest, atleast for me, would be kissing.
holding hands and hugs...touching of lips...but no french kissing at all...haha...
I'm okay with maybe a tap kiss, holding hands, hug, but anything more than that is a no with me.
I'm not much for PDA, only because I don't like other people feeling uncomfortable. My boyfriend is basically against it, and I'm lucky if I get a peck on the lips before we part ways on campus to go to our respective classes. Until he's drunk that is... in which case he forgets his reservations.
I guess with a PDA-aphobic boyfriend, I don't have to worry about it too much.
i don't just find it disgusting, i find it disrespectful. my husband and i aren't very PDA anyway, but the rule i try to follow is i won't do anything that i would consider offensive if other couples did it in front of me.
mostly just holding hands and little kisses. i tend to stand in front of my boyfriend and lean back against him too.
when i'm drunk it all goes to hell haha
and i have been "that" couple. my boyfriend and i got together in italy and the combination of it being new and being in italy got the better of us. there was no making out in front of everyone in the middle of the day though... although there was that one day we saw each other for the first time after we got home and didnt see each other everyday and we may have made out by a starbucks in the city...oops. oh well, we all have our moments, i guess
yes :x
I used to have a problem with PDA. I would see others and just want to gag. There were times my ex would try to kiss me but i didn't even want that. That last person I was with, I would love to kiss them in public and walk around holding there hand. I think a few times I tried to make out with them a little, which i could tell was not there style, either mine really, but for some reason I just loved kissing this person. Oh well. PDA is not bad, but if your going to have a giant make out session or some gropping, i would say get a room.
The boyfriend and I usually don't go very far, holding hands for the most part and that'd be it. And we don't even do that depending on where or who we're with.
my boyfriend and i never go beyond the terms of hugging, kissing, flirting, or holding hands. there's the occasional day where he'll grab my boob (as a joke, or to play around and stop me in mid-sentence - there's nothing sexual about it), or he'll initiate the well-known lick fights.
but making out and feeling each other up, i think, is just going too far. there's showing how much you love them, and there's showing how much you want to fuck them.
two different things.
I HATE PDA. I think there is no good reason to parade our affections around in front of other people. I mean, holding hands and a kiss here and there... But making out etc in public? No one wants to see that. If you think they do, you're fooling yourself. And if they do, they're creepy pervs and you don't want them watching you anyway. Save it of privacy.
Granted, on the other hand, like you I have been known to engage in PDA a bit when drunk.
@wrecked_xx@xanga - "There's showing how much you love them, and there's showing how much you want to fuck them."
Haha I love it. Very valid point.
i don't have any problem with pda but i think there's always a time and place for everything..
Here's something to consider: humans are the only species who mate in private!
There was a Dilbert comic on PDA which stated that the more attractive the people, the more they could get away with in public.
As for me, I'm usually too busy doing something else to make out in public. If I'm really that eager to get down-and-dirty, I would rather go find someplace where I can break loose than try to keep it clean for public viewing.
I think those affections should be done privately though, because it is akward and it makes the people around you uncomfortable.
Friends used to do that to me ALL THE TIME! I was never angry but it was just like.. wat the heck? haha.
Small pecks, holding hands, and such with your significant other are fine.
When we were in high school, and couldn't really hang out anywhere outside of school, we'd be cuddling (not making out, just cuddling) in most of the classrooms - even during class.
I don't see a problem cuddling with your SO unless you're with just one or a few single individuals, which can make things awkward.
Generally, we don't do much more than hold hands, unless we're with another couple who are also comfortable cuddling. We would NEVER EVER have sex or make out when someone else is anywhere CLOSE.
it is not difficult to control emotions...be honest...it is a matter of deciding to or not, period...control has nothing to do with it, it is a choice...i don't care what people choose to do, but don't give me that crap about how you can't help yourself...
I've never been "that couple" though an ex of mine was very touchy in public, I didn't like that.
However... if I do notice some girl ogling my boyfriend or being overly, suspiciously friendly to my boyfriend, I don't mind being the girl who passionately kisses her boyfriend at the dinner table for no reason. Rarely ever happens.
eh not so much. PDA is defined in various terms, being mostly by intensity.
I like to keep it cute and simple. hand holding, hugs, that sort of thing. and if its a kiss, its a quick peck, nothing more.
I prefer to save the rest of it for behind closed doors. I dont do show and tell lol not my style.
My boyfriend and I hold hands, once in awhile a peck if we're parting, or the occasion booty grab, other than that I feel uncomfortable. Some pda is cute and other stuff is like "Ew, I think I just vomited in my mouth a little."
in my young and stupid days (re: university), i did a little bit of PDA. maybe on one or two occassions we wandered into too-much territory.
but in my cynical old age, i'd prefer not to see couples making out and groping each other. if you're in a dark noisy night club, go ahead. but if you're on the subway or in the park, i think you should be able to keep your cool and just wait til later.
a smooch, hugging, holding hands, or even a bit of mild cuddling is cool. but full-on making out and groping... yeah.. i think that's kinda wrong. it's not really hard to distiguish between cutesy and gross.
here's a good measure. if it's behaviour that would gross you out if you saw your grandparents doing it, then it's not appropriate as PDA. but that's just my personal opinion.