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Mr. MacchiatoI am a big believer in *not* letting them rip in front of your loved ones. I mean, you love them right? Why would you inflict that on someone you love?!
Believe it or not, this subject has been the subject of fierce debate here at Datingish HQ. There is a school of thought that true love = being able to pass gas in front of your lover. After all, it's the ultimate sign that you are comfortable... that the two of you have no secrets from each other.
I couldn't disagree more!!!!!11 <-- those extra 1's are for emphasis.
I definitely want to keep that secret to myself (and vice versa). I try to keep the mystery alive a bit... for me, passing gas is kinda the exact opposite of mystery. Plus what if I did let one go... she might pass out, fall, and hit her head. Then instead of spending QT together, we're at the hospital while she recovers from a concussion.. Where's the romance in that?
I was doing a bit of research for this post, and chanced across a site called poopreport.com (Btw, who wakes up one day and thinks, "Eureka! PoopReport.com!!" Well whoever you are, you are a genius). I found
this great post titled, "[S]hould [women] ... fart in front of significant others?" Here are some comments:
- "Everyone knows that women do not [poo] or fart. They do little pink powderpuffs out of their rear-ends, along with delicate, fleecy clouds of perfumed air that fly out like angels on wings--accompanied by harp music."
- "At a party the other night, I went and stood beside my sis-in-law, farted and then blamed her. " (OK this has nothing to do with the question, but you have to admit it's awesome)
- "Ladies, free yourself from these morons who want you to act like those vapid characters you see in the media, be yourself, you'll be surprised at the number of men who will still hold the door for you...especially the bathroom door."
- "When [my husband] and I were first married, one day I wandered into another room to fart. He walked through a few minutes later, and asked, "Man! What IS that? OMG!" And he proceeded to look down the sink, under the couch, etc...presumably looking for the decomposing rot giving off the smell, and he kept complaining the whole while, and he just wouldn't leave it alone. I FINALLY had to say, "Geez, it was me! Get a clue. I WENT into the other room. It would be polite to just ignore it. Have you NO manners? Why harp on it?" He apologized, but I'm still scarred."
Wow I just learned so much. Well regardless of the true love = comfort = gas theory, I will never knowingly pass gas in front of my poor wife. I would rather have my intestines implode than subject her to the gas chambers.
Do you have a policy on passing gas in front of your lover? Also - have you accidentally let one go early on during a relationship? We've all been there... please share!
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Comments (232)
I agree. I did one time early on, I wasn't even expecting it. He just looked at me and said "Eww." I tried to laugh it off but I was pretty mortified the rest of the night.I can't even fart in front of my roommate who happened to be my best friend, never mind my boyfriend.
Reading that entry made my grin--apparently I'm still disgusted at the thought of farting, yet juvenille enough to think it's funny in some situations! lol My thoughts are with you, though: farting is something that's better left on the toilet seat (if you absolutely can't hold it in anywhere else) than in the company of a significant other. I can't imagine eating a romantic dinner, watching a movie, or leaning in for a kiss following a powerful explosion of gas, or even the sneaky ones I like to call "ninja farts" because they're silent and deadly...it just makes things awkward, uncomfortable, and gross, no matter how "natural" it may be...I don't want a guy who's comfortable with cutting the cheese in front of me, I want one with the manners enough to hold it in until the time is right...when he's in the bathroom, outside, or in a room far, far away from me....
Oh man, I'm like your worst nightmare. I fart around those I love. I was actually really offended when my husband wouldn't fart in front of me when we were dating. Yeah I know it sounds weird but I equate farting with comfort.
LOL...after 13 years of marriage, and knowing my wife for much longer...passing gas is the least of our worries...'let it rip' is - to us - a sign that not only we understand the bodily process and functions...but that the timing of passing gas can be either:
a) a funny moment of "good God, man...what crawled up in their and died"...
or
b) please refrain while were with my parents/co-workers and close family...I don't want to be embarrassed.
or
c) after a long drawn out "discussion"...the passing of Gas can be good for those silent comebacks of anger....
(an icebreaker, if you will)...
Have fun with that round...
that is a no-no for me. I can't eve do that in front of my own family... I get embarrassed.
My opinion is to avoid doing it in front of each other but that the relationship should be comfortable enough that it's okay if you do.
This used to be a huge no-no for me, much like mostly everyone else has said, but my current boyfriend and I (after being together for a year) have grown comfortable enough to "pass gas" in front of each other. He started long before I did accidentally, but after awhile he told me to start because he was "curious" (he'd never heard a girl fart before, I'm guessing). Normally, I hold it in anyway, but we made it a game so it can be fun sometimes. :)
This article really amuses me. Because I have male friends (all of whom are in serious relationships, most of whom are married or engaged) who believe that "farting is ALWAYS funny.
Admittedly, when I first started hanging out with them, I was quite put off by the whole thing. I mean, we would go eat at a Japanese steakhouse and come home, and let's be honest, that is about the foulest thing you'll ever smell. But these boys are proud of it. It has slowly spread to their girlfriends/wives, and the "fart game" (you know, put your thumb on your forehead when someone let's one and the last person to do so "ate it") is a regular occurance.
And yes, we are in our mid-to-late 20s, and this is the behavior...
haha my boyfriend and I always fart around each other. I try not to do it too often, but he lets them out as he pleases. :p
I have to say that farting or otherwise having bodily functions in front of a lover/significant other is a BIG no-no for me. I won't do it, and they don't do it. I think when you get to the point you can fart sitting beside them and not care is a level of disregard I don't want my relationships going to. And actually, amusingly enough, was a turning point in one failing relationship for me when we both finally gave up pretending we were both the same.
I just associate that level of comfort with a buddy or someone you putz around with...not someone you deeply love.
That poor wife who's still scarred by her overly investigative husband..that's so embarassing! Well, for the first time ever, I am going out with a guy who farts openly in front of me. In fact, we weren't even b/f and g/f before the first time he let a HUGE one rip. I was moritified. Shocked into awkward silence. I really didn't know who to react. I mean, it was MASSIVE. Since we were both, well, naked, it made the situationed ahellofalot worse, for me at least. He seemed relieved and happy. I tried my best to laugh it off breifly and sorta pretend it didn't happen or i didn't notice it. Although, that was ridiculous considering the robust release that had just occured. But since he kapt doing it, in a strange way, it makes me feel like he feels close enough to me do be himself completely. And, it makes that one time less embaassing. Actually, it's not embarassin at all at this point. OK, that's the longest comment I've ever made and it's about farting. This is ridiculous.
O, one more thing. For those of you who say it's a level of disregard or indecency to fart in front of somebody you supposedely love, let's not judge other people's relationships. Some do fart out of disregard, some do it because they feel close enough to that person to do it. In fact, what about the fact that my b/f does it in front of me but NOT his friends? That tells something..
ahhaha yah my boyfriend and I do all the time. Although I say ewe, hahaha. He thinks it's cute when I do. And I have intestinal problems anyway (which I won't go into) so I wouldn't let him spend so much time with me if I couldn't, frankly, or MY intestines would explode.
I do think this may be true, but perhaps depends on the couple. He's the only boyfriend I've had whom I feel that comfortable with- and by far the longest and best relationship I've had, and ever heard of quite frankly.
Eh, I don't really think it's that big of a deal. My boyfriend has obscenely uptight manners: he'll never use curse words (even in quotations), he freaks out when I see him pee, and he's never let me hear him fart. All of this after two and a half years...
I generally try not to pass gas when I'm around others, even him (perhaps partially because of his ingrained manners?), but if it would make me the least bit uncomfortable, I'll let it out, though I'll try to, uh, arrange my cheeks so it won't make a loud sound. I usually don't have problems with odor, since I don't eat meat. ^_^
I try not to fart in front of anyone. If I had my way, I wouldn't even fart in front of myself.
I can't fart around my boyfriend or any people, or even take a number 2 if people are too close. My body like freezes up and when everyone has moved on, I can go to the bathroom. My boyfriend farts around me once in awhile but I always make the "stank" face so he tries not to do it.
http://annenahm.com/?p=11
haha. My guy dutch-ovens me. >.<
So yea, we pass gas in front of each other.. no shame at all. I might have started it as I'm prone to burping at random intervals. I've always done it.. even when we were friends. I think we were able to be comfortable around each other because we were friends first before dating. I also love to see our sense of humor during these incidents.. we would play it off sometimes as the other person & have a good laugh.
I love not having to hold it in or wait til I go into another room. :)
haha!!!!! me and my boyfriend fart together all the time. I mean, we aren't offended. We don't do it to purposely stink and get on each others nerves or anything. We just do. And we tell each other when we do it if it's one of those ninja farts as to be courteous. It's like "Babe, I farted. Just wanted you to know in case you smell it." lol. I think it keeps the relationship light and airy...no pun intended. I don't want to have to keep putting on airs and being polite and bogged down in "a rose by any other name" type heavy love stuff. I like when we act like 10 year old best friends.
Recently we were in a clothing store together and he was checking something out sort of across the aisle from me. He moved away even further and I smelled something like...putrid. My face visibly screwed up and there were other people in the area and I looked around but I immediately knew it was my boyfriend without even having to look at him. I walked up to him and said "Dude!!! Did you fart?! It's so rank!" then he looks at me and goes "shhhh! yea, that was me!" "Omg! What did you eat?!" lol. And it was like one of those lingering ones that follow you around. I picked on him for hours.
I don't find it embarrassing at all, at least not with him. Besides, he's interested in more of my bodily functions that would be even more taboo.
You do what you feel comfortable doing. Most of the replies are exactly of that nature, so I guess it really doesn't matter to anyone but the farter and the victim. (Yes, "victim" - fartee just didn't seem to work for that one.)
That, in itself, tells that I've been got, over the years, by the, "Pull My Finger," trick, the, "What just ran under my chair?" question, as well as the good old, "Alien Sneak Bomb from the Other Dimension."
Laugh as I may when a kid rips a huge bunny on a dining room chair at home, doing it in public is unacceptable, and putting my head under the covers when you load the sheets it a break-up offense.
Go with the flow, I say, but if you're even considering this as a topic for serious discussion with someone else, then you'd best be close enough to them that it won't matter - anyone else will be far enough away that they don't matter.
i am so annoyed when my bf does it.
as a guy, you are truly a rare breed.
and it also grosses me out when i hear about couples sharing a bathroom. one sitting on the crapper while the other is brushing their teeth at the sink or something like that. GROSS.
I HATE it when anyone farts near me (the smell just totally grosses me out), so I'm definitely not down for this sort of intimacy. It's not really a matter of feeling comfortable as much as I just think the smell is repulsive (even from me)!
My boyfriend and I fart in front of each other all the time. He finds it completely acceptable so I don't mind doing it. Past boyfriends have tried making me do it in front of them, claiming its the best evidence that I'm comfortable with them, but it seems like the gas would get stuck right at the sphincter and refuse to escape.
When my boyfriend and I are on double-dates with my girlfriends and their boyfriends, we would all talk about our flatulence and reactions. I'm not exactly sure how it comes up but its pure comedy.
Farting is probably the least offensive. Deucing with the door open, coming in while I'm showering to take a deuce, and peeing in the shower while I'm showering with you are probably my top 3.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - hahaha, "arrange my cheeks"... hey, everyone's done it. I'm glad someone said it.
My boyfriend and I are pretty open. That doesn't mean we intentionally try to conjure up a stink to piss each other off... it just means we aren't ashamed. It's more of a thing to laugh at than be embarassed about. It allows for lighthearted fun. I think holding onto playfulness is important in a relationship. :)
I'm a proponent of not going to the bathroom around a SO though, if that makes any sense. I guess there's a line I'm not cool with crossing.