This is a guest blog submitted by a Datingish reader.If you're a woman and
sexually active, one of the most frightening situations you can find yourself
buried in is the pregnancy scare.
When it happened to me, I was too afraid to tell my boyfriend - I
didn't want him to freak out! Instead, I kept my mouth shut until
I couldn't think about anything else. My dreams turned into
nightmares of being a pregnant teen with no future, my mornings awaited
nausea, and I could swear I was gaining weight. When I couldn't take it anymore, I finally built up the
courage to tell my boyfriend that I thought I was pregnant.
I was right - he freaked out. His first reaction was, "We're never having sex again!"
I
was in awe; isn't it the guy who's supposed to be feigning, especially
in the teenage years? I was actually somewhat insulted that he could
turn off his sexual attraction to me so easily. I realized that the
thought of having a child was alarming, but I never realized it would
scare the sex drive out of him.
After I took a pregnancy test, it was confirmed that I wasn't pregnant; it was simply a
scare.
My boyfriend was still hesitant about having sex, though. He
wanted me to go on the pill so we were absolutely positive it would never occur again, and I did, because it was obviously safer and I wasn't looking to be the next Juno. But to this day, I'm still
astonished by his initial reaction.
Girls, how would you handle breaking the news of a pregnancy scare to your BF? How about the guys: did it scare the sex drive out of you?
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Comments (82)
I recently had a scare and took 2 tests without telling my boyfriend. He was upset when I did tell him because he didn't want that to be something I had to do on my own. Honestly it was less stressful for me that he didn't know, but I will for sure tell him next time because it really wasn't fair of me to not let him in on that.
-L
hm.. that didn't happen to me. it was a scare too. but he was real supportive and told me he'd be just right nxt to me if anything happens and all that.. and nope it didnt scare the sex drive outta me. there are so many ways to protect yourself and everything. just be safe and there should be nothing much to be scared of haha.
While his reaction is horrifying, it is at least marginally better than several other reactions I could think of. And I would say you have learned something valuable, though at a certain cost.
I've had a scare or two (I'm male), but no, never scared the sex drive out of me.
wow okay. well first you should CONFIRM THAT YOU ARE PREGNANT OR NOT PREGNANT before you scare anyone else into thinking that you are.
its kind of common sense.. ive had more than one pregnancy scare and it sucks but your period also has a good amount of the same signs that pregnancy does. and getting stressed out about having the signs can even intensify them. of course all the scares were ended in me not being pregnant. even on birth control you can get the scares. im on it not and i still freak out sometimes..
dont miss a pill and dont take any antibiotics when your on birth control or it will increas the risk of getting pregnant.
but really. find out before you break any news..
i don't know that it would be enough to scare the sex drive out of me, but i would probably be caught off guard not knowing what to do, other than to support the girlfriend as best as i can. really though, i think my uncertain reaction pretty much speaks of my readiness (or lack thereof) to have kids...
Oh yes! I got really scared! But not about having a baby, but because we lived quite far each other and that would force a big change (ealier, too earlier than my expectations).
As she saw me scared she immediately said "oh don't worry, I don't need you. Is not something concerning you". That hurt me more.
I wanted to be supportive (beside my scare) and beside her, not against.
Than it was just a scare and when I knew it I looked like a scorer in World Cup but her words still echoes in my mind, even if we broke up.
a boy ' friend' of mine once responded with the words,
" your joking, i didnt even come "
charming
x
It scared the sex drive out of my ex. Although my mind was always caught in a nightmare everytime we had sex after.
Well, first I would take a test to make sure before I broke the news to my boyfriend; no need to freak him out for no reason.
I had no choice but to break the news to him. He had a car on campus and I didn't, making him my only source of trusted transportation to go buy some tests. I tried to be as tactful as possible... I calmly explained to him that I was late, that there could be a hundred reasons for me being late, but I would just feel a lot better if he took me to get some tests done.
He responded less than ideally :-[ He was obviously stressed out. He did immediately come and pick me up, but he refused to go inside the store with me. I could have used the support. I was stressed enough, I needed a positive attitude to help me through.
Did it scare the sex drive out of him? no. But did it go into temporary hiding? Yes. Until I started on birth control right afterwards. Then he was happy.
As awful as it was, I'm glad for the scare. It kicked my butt into gear when it came to being safe.
I'm very irregular when it comes to visits from Aunt Flow so her absence is the only reason I get scared. My boyfriend knows this so I let him know when I'm late. He keeps cool, calm and collected, holds my hand while we wait for the pee stick to bake. Then when it says negative, we celebrate =)
We've discussed the possibility of pregnancy enough that we're prepared.
The first time I thought I was pregnant, scared the crap out of me. When telling my partner that I might be, he said that I better have an abortion. Another time with a different partner said something along the same lines, adding that he wasn't ready to be a father. It pisses me off. As a female, we have to go through that. I would like to hear "let me talk about what you've been going through" because it's obviously something that causes lots of stress. The pregnancy issue has talked me out of sex. I don't want to take birth control pills because of what it does to your body. I just won't have sex until I find someone who actually loves me, maybe. No sex is fine with me as well. I like everything else anyways.
@azna_gurl@xanga - that's how i feel, but i wanna please him. im not missing anything since i dont know what it feels like yet, but then i wonder what it is that im not missing...lol
but that's the right attitude, supposedly, that's how it's supposed to be. no sex til marriage and it finally makes sense to me. i think that might be one of the most important of the 10 commandments.
@azna_gurl@xanga - Wow. If my boyfriend told me to get an abortion, I think I would be pissed. I'm actually pro-choice and everything... but *choice* being the key word. As in, the *woman's* choice because *she* is the one who either has to go through with the pregnancy or go through with the abortion. It is likely that I will never have an abortion (God forbid anything horrible should happen). If a man tries to tell me that he has a right to override that choice of mine, he will most likely get socked in the jaw.
i had a scare with my current boyfriend, even though i'm on the pill. i was really nauseous for a few days and my period was late-which it never is since i'm on the pill-and i started freaking out. i told him and he told me that he would take me to get a test and if i am, then we can decide together what we'd do (which would have been an abortion). but he told me either way he would be there for me and support me, since it's my body. and hell no it didn't kick the sex drive out of him. we probably have more sex now.
i just make sure i always take my pill on time.
If you aren't on the pill, you should have one of those gumball machine dispensers of the morning after pill right next to your bed right next to the fucking condoms...It's not that hard to protect yourselves you lazy fuckers...
I'm just gonna throw this one out there.... abstinence? Anyone? No takers?
That happened to me about 5 months ago. I was late and really scared. I told my boyfriend and he said that we would do what it takes to work through this. I took two tests, both were negative. He handled it all very calmly but he said that if were to have been positive then I should look at abortion. I'm not the motherly type and I always kept abortion as an option in the back of my mind.. until he brought it up.
@beachblondie711@xanga - when you said "I will never get an abortion," it made me wonder if you believe that "things happen for a reason" and you are supposed to get pregnant because god let it happen. Just curious
The guys I'd go out with would freak out, but they'd also realize that I'd be scared as well, and they'd be by my side, and they would also take responsibility for their actions.
If that was his reaction, perhaps you shouldn't have been having sex in the first place. Â No form of birth control is completely effective and you should really be mature enough to handle the consequences before you go jumping into bed. Â I don't think that being in love is a good enough reason to start having sex. Â That being said, getting pregnant is not a punishment, as a lot of people believe it to be so. Â It's simply a consequence, just like getting burned fingers when you put your hand on a hot stove. Â It's important to have honest and open communication with your boyfriend or girlfriend before you decide to have sex. Â And of course, if you really do love each other, abstinence is a great idea and can only make your relationship stronger. Â We take teenage pregnancy too lightly these days and with a higher number of girls "with child" comes a higher number or likelihood of abortions. Â If you're not ready to deal with a pregnancy, you're not ready to have sex.
@College_Ruled11X85@xanga - ooh, I don't know if I believe in no sex until marriage. I just don't want my first time to be a painful experience on my honeymoon. I believe more of no sex until I find a guy that would want to father my kids, or at least support me in what I choose. If I can't tell him, I don't really love him. There's no way I am going through something like that without him. You can also please him in other ways that are more safe. It might actually be fun to explore that idea.
Well, I didn't have sex until I was married. But a month after our wedding, I had a pregnancy scare. I was really late, I was tired, I was cranky, and I was hungry. All the time. I took a test and it was negative. But still, I was scared because I'm not ready to be a mom. My hubby was actually cool with it, though. But he wants kids. I want them, just not now. So I insisted on safer sex practices.
@Nikolais_apprentice@xanga - Absitence? NOOO! You can't ask teenagers to repress their sexuality! Heaven forbid we teach kids to be responsible about their bodies instead of giving in to sexual whims!
Absitence is HARD. I know from expirience. But kids these days (for the most part) don't understand how much sex complicates relationships. And the teenage generation is one that doesn't want to do anything that's difficult.
I say absistence education first and foremost. After all, it's the only 100% foolproof way to prevent pregnancies and STDs. The safe sex lecture should come after the absistence lecture.
@College_Ruled11X85@xanga - Abstinence until marriage isn't one of the ten commandments.