by
Mr. Macchiato
When I married my wife, she had just turned 26 years old. Shortly before the big day, she told me she was surprised that she was almost exactly "on schedule" for her life timeline.
I guess almost every girl has a timeline that they planned out when they were younger. I think this is a female phenomenon, because none of my guy friends have a schedule like this. Here's an example timeline (from the wonderful Mrs. Macchiato):
- Meet Future Husband: 24 years old
- Date for a year: 24-25
- Get Engaged: 25
- Get Married - 25/26
- Enjoy Life before Family - 2 years or so
- Have Kids - 27/28
Mrs. Macchiato barely made her cutoff for getting married (she was 26 years and 4 months old!), but since then she's fallen a bit behind (she's 29 now). We've pushed off having kids for a bit, but it's all good. It was just a rough guideline... and we are pretty busy these days, so we can rationalize waiting a few more years before starting a family.
I've been asking women I know about their life timelines, and it's amazing - I think 99% of them have a rough schedule like above. The dates vary (not everyone wants to necessarily get married and/or have kids). But it's amazing to me how consistent the timelines are! If the woman is from back home (Virginia), their timelines start a few years earlier. If the woman is from New York City (where I live now), the schedules can extend as late as 35+ for starting a family (or maybe she doesn't want a family at all).
I find the whole phenomenon fascinating, because I am not a very good planner when it comes to these things. Then again, men don't have to worry as much about their biological clock... so we are lucky in that sense. My life timeline was, "get established in the business world and then start a family sometime in my mid to late 30's." In retrospect, that's not very specific. But I know I couldn't have gotten married if I didn't feel somewhat established and on-track financially.
Do you have a rough timeline for your life? What is it... and are you ahead or behind schedule?
Comments (116)
Lol, I don't have a schedule. Its what God has planned for me. But I know what you mean. Women want to do things perfectly. They want to time things especially if they have a strong determination.
I guess I am right on track? I'm only 16...
I don't really have a rough timeline of my life. Hehe. ^_^''''
I'm just going with the flow of things at the moment.
Eh my schedule's pretty simple: graduate from college &get a carreer in my early 20s, and find Mr. Right / get married at age 26, hopefully have children before I get too old and cranky hahaha.
I feel like I'm ahead of schedule because I've found that one person, even though I'm only in high school >.<
Women don't really have to worry about their biological clocks anymore, either, if they have the money and forethought to save eggs during their youth and undergo IVF as late as 70 years old. The only "biological clock" that's still a concern is life expectancy.
Personally? I want to graduate from college by 21, graduate with two degrees from grad school by 24, then maybe get married around 25/26, depending on how my career is going. Possibly, I could foresee delaying marriage until 27 or 28, but I would definitely like to be married before I'm 30 (take this with a grain of salt, because I'm 19 now). As for a family, I really don't know whether I want one or not. If I do decide to have one, I'd like to start at 35 at the latest.
@stoopidxemilie@xanga - "the one" in high school might not actually be "the one." I'm still with my high school sweetheart, and I could definitely be happy with him for the rest of my life, but I think our lives are pulling in opposite directions. You'd be surprised what college will do, particularly if you're not going to the same school (but often even if you are)
I had a schedule. I lived by it. Now I am divorced. Getting married, etc. because you feel you "should" at a certain age as opposed to really being ready can be very detrimental. I am living proof. I feel life is too short to worry about sticking to a timeline.
I don't necessarily have my life planned out. All I know is that I want to finish getting my degrees and start working before I even think about getting married. (Though, if I meet the right guy, that could change.) I expect I'd finish at least my bachelor's in the next five years, then start working (and going for my master's at the same time, so two or three years)... But as for children and all that, I have no idea.
@OneLeggedFrench@xanga - That's really fascinating - I'd love to hear more, if you're up for sharing! I think a lot of people could benefit from your experience...
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - Yeahh I'm honestly a bit scared =/ haha.
This entry couldn't have come at a funnier time. I was out with one of my friends today & I told him I had a 4-year plan. He found it interesting how most girls he's spoken to have had plans while guys on the other hand don't seem to worry about them. While talking, I realized that guys often don't account for the girl issue when making plans for their lives but girls do. In fact, I feel that most girls plan their lives around the boy in their life.. why is that?
As for me, my 4-year plan is vague & tends to vary. I know so far that I want to stay at home & work for at least a year, maybe two. During this time, I will obtain my masters.. & maybe go for my second. At the end of the 4 years, I hope to be married.. only because I think too much & I think it'd be cool/cute to celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary when I'm 50. But what happens between the first & fourth year keeps changing. So who knows! & I know life often doesn't go as we planned, it's clearly shown me that in the past 6 months.. [ultimately, God's in control.] So we'll see. :)
Oh, & I'd like to have kids before turning 30.. something to do with my fear of needles & amniocentesis. That scares the crap outta me!
I am so guilty of this. I do have a timeline but it's not as detailed as the one above. My just consist of settling down in life, get marry, and have a kid. Settle down some point in my 20's. Get married by mid 20's - just before 30. Have a child in my early 30's. And I have yet to complete a single thing on there.
@OneLeggedFrench@xanga - That's absolutely true! Too many people define themselves by their relationships, instead of the other way around.
@stoopidxemilie@xanga - Don't be- it's just a part of life. Obviously, you can make it work if you really want to. More likely, you will go through a somewhat painful separation, then you'll either get back together when your lives collide again, or you'll find another guy who you love even more than you could have ever imagined. As long as you make the decisions that you need to make for yourself, and never make a decision out of obligation or what "should" happen, you'll be fine!
I don't have an exact, detailed plan, but I do have hopes. I hope to be settled around 25, get married around 28, and have kids by 30. But I don't live life expecting for it to go so smoothly... Who knows what will happen next?
i want to get married around the 26/27/28 and have kids around 30
I kind of have a timeline but it's the opposite of most girls. Instead of saying "I want to get married by such and such age," it's "I absolutely do not want to get married before such and such age and would much prefer even later if possible." Haha. I'm all about enjoying my youth for as long as possible.
Ugh I am way ahead... I wanted to marry around 30 and have kids at 35 or so. I was more concerned about finishing my masters and travelling the world... but then life happens and I had twins 5 month after I graduated and 5 yrs later I had a girl. She's almost 2. I'm 29.
i'm ahead of schedule. i figured i'd get married between 26-28, but got married at 24!
i definitely had a timeline similar to your wife's, but i'm 27 and single, so i guess that's thrown out the window! :P
Lol, this totally is a girl thing. I think about this quite often, I think I established it when I was about 14 or 15. But I think about it more often as I grow older.
I want to meet my husband either in high school or college, get engaged in my early 20's, then get married between the age 21 and 25. I'd like to have kids in my late 20's.
oh i dont know if i can call it behind or ahead.
Im just living one day at a time..and no complaints
I dont think that i even know what a schedule is haha
I don't think this is just for the ladies... Guys think they are going to be certain places by a certain time, and well alot of times to both sides of the fence we don't' necessarily end up where we want when we want... Hell I thought I would be married have the carrier I want, house, 1.5 kids blah blah blah... Nope single, in school cause I hate current career and a house hahahahhaha... Variety is the spice of life.
I am super behind schedule with my love life. I thought at the age of 22 going on 23, I would be in a happy serious relationship. Hasn't happened yet.
LOL. I had a timeline and I might be on schedule- finish school before 30 (check if I graudate in 4 hours); get married by married (have a bf who I will most likely be married to...so check).
My bf had a timeline: he was going to get married April something, 2007. That didn't happen. But he wants kids by age 29-30 so....yeah. Chop chop. LOL!!
Haha, I kind of always thought I would get married when I was 25. Didn't plan when I'd meet the guy or get engaged, but I always thought that... And now I am 25, engaged, and probably getting married when I am 26. SO CLOSE!
I'm not a fan of timelines. I think it encourages people to settle with who they are with rather than find true love. But what do I know? I don't really know anything about anything.