By
Miss Double Shot
My sisters have serious boyfriends, and the last time I came home for a
visit, the guys were staying at our place overnight. My parents are
touchy about having guys spend the night unless they're staying on
different levels of the house as girls - it's understandable; if we're
under their roof, we have to follow their rules! As the rules stipulated, the girls were on the top floor and could spend time with the guys downstairs when morning came.
Ryan, my best guy friend, spent the night at my house last summer and
we fell asleep together on my family's sofa bed. My mom
wasn't particularly thrilled about it and shot me a tell-all look that said I wasn't setting a great example for my siblings - I remember being really upset
by that.
I was used to being at school, where I'd sleep over at my friends' places and they were always welcome to stay at mine . . . it wasn't a hippie commune or anything, but when I'd return home to a strict one-person-per-bed policy, I really felt like the rules were too strict.
Have you had any sleeping arrangement debacles at your home or at your BF/GF's house?
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Comments (89)
I never have guys spend the night at my parents house, much less any of my friends. They just come to my apartment or I go to theirs. Its easiest to keep it out of family business, especially if there's no engagement in the near future or marriage. To parents, it just looks sloppy if random people sleep over even if there's nothing going on.
That was a no brainer for me... Dont ask... period. Hey like you said their rules.
I've never had any problems with this issue. I try to obey the rules of whatever house I'm staying at.
I'm so happy I live alone.
Well, before my little brother left to live with his dad the guest room/office/study/whatever wasn't up yet so I had to give up my room and my bed and sleep on the couch. My brother's room was horribly masculine with little league sweaty footbal stuff in it.. lol
That wen't for everyone, relatives and all, but they're going now and we're changing it into a study/guest room/thing so they sleep there.
my parents won't let my bf sleep in my room when we stay over at their house, even though i live with him and they know full well that we share a bed. i think it's just a "not in my house" thing for them, because they don't care when we're on vacation and whatnot.
also might be a daughter thing, because when i stay over at his parents' place, i've been sharing his bed since day 1 and his parents are fine with it.
When my bf came home with me to meet the family, I laid down the law. I was like "we sleep in the same bed when he visits me in NY, we're going to sleep in the same bed here." They tried that "our roof, our laws" thing, but I was like "fine then we'll stay in a hotel." And then they gave in because they wanted to see me as much as possible, so they wanted me at home. Then again, they also don' t have much of a leg to stand on because I was born before they were married, so they're not uber traditional.
Uhh no friends at the house by bedtime. PERIOD.
Gosh my mom thinks that my sister and I are whores just because we have boyfriends and we live in America. Wtf man.
I hate my mom.
I remember the one night when it was girlfriend's (at the time) prom. Of course people know the whole deal of prom ending late and then there was after prom. My family was also away on a whole East coast family trip that weekend and wanted to pick me up the following day. However, they told me to drive back home (which was another half an hour to 45 minutes since she lived about 20 miles away. I already asked her parents if it was okay for me to sleep over at their house and they said yes. So I told my parents that, but my dad didn't want it. I keep telling him that I will be too tired to drive back home, especially at at 3-4 in the morning. He finally caved in and made me sleep in a different room (which was the plan anyways).
But yea, she also got the lecture before from her mom when her dad saw us sleeping on her bed. The door was open and we had our clothes on. It's not like any funny business was going on. But Asian parents usually are very "strict" and protective so... nothing new there.
I don't think my parents would ever allow a guy to sleepover, no matter what his relationship to me (other than family) or the circumstances.
Definitely. My boyfriend has slept over my house, but downstairs on the couch. We've vacationed together & I got a "do you think it's okay for two unmarried people to sleep together in the same bed" lecture from my ultra conservative dad. (To which I felt like answering YES! AND IF I WANT TOHAVE PREMARITAL SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND I'M GOING TO FIND A WAY TO DO IT HOTEL ROOM OR NOT!) But we were the ones paying for the vacation ourselves anyways, so he couldn't do much. What angers me is that my dad isn't very fond of my boyfriend & I hanging out in my room together on the bed (although we do it anyways, with the door open) while my brother is tangled with his girlfriend, in his room, door closed, under the covers. Stupid double standard. I too am used to being in school where it doesn't matter. It's coming home for the summer that bugs me.
It took lots of convincing but whatever. My mom gave in.
Same with my boyfriends parents, lol.
I definitely think that it's a double standard for parents, because my brother can go wherever and with whoever but if it's me my dad always interrogates me with,"Are boys coming? Be home by nine and um, don't have sex." lol
I have an apartment at school but when I go home, almost every weekend, he can stay there is he wants. He's done it many times. Thought we usually don't end up sleeping in the same bed because I have a twin. But I didn't expect that from my parents at all! I've never even brought up the issue to his parents b/c its not an issue. Though his mom is wayyyy religious. But I don't think she can say much b/c her daughter has 2 kids and shes not married at age 22 and so does his brother.
~*^__^*~ Hi, thank you for the sub& the freind-add. It was interesting going thru your entries.
Have a nice day~
absolutely. My boyfriend and I went to separate colleges for a year. So when we went home on weekends or breaks, we missed each other and wanted to stay at the same house. At first my parents were strict about it. But now we go to the same school - and live in the same coed dorm. You know what that means? Sleepovers all the time. And my parents aren't dumb, they know this. So they loosened up and let him sleep where he wants. My mom is so used to the idea that she suggested I get an apartment with him at school next year (she is VERY pro-living-in-sin).
My boyfriend, at 20, is the youngest of three, and got into the least trouble growing up. So his brother and sister paved the way for him on this one. His parents I think are beyond the point of caring.
I've never had a boyfriend spend the night before; probably because my last relationships were through years ago when I was a junior in high school; I haven't dated since then, and of course what 17 year old would even want her boyfriend to spend the night with her at her parents house? Well... I didn't.
However, one of my older sisters had a boyfriend that she'd dated for 10 years starting when she was in high school, and well into her twenties; his parents kicked him out of their house so that he could "become independent" as they put it, giving him no place to fall back on, so... he fell back on my mother's house here, and my sister and him did share a bed. The weird thing is, my mom never really minded. Another sister of mine brings her boyfriend home often and they share a bed when they spend the night over here (she doesn't even live at home anymore.) I think my mom figures all they're doing is sleeping next to each other, no "funny business..." or anything... well, let's hope not.
... I'll be lucky if I ever find a guy that I can bring home to crash here sometime!
The rule at our house was that my boyfriend could stay over as long as I slept in my room and he slept on the living room couch. Well, one night, my stepdad fell asleep on the couch (and of course we didn't want to wake him up. lol) so my boyfriend and I both slept in my room. My mom wasn't thrilled. A week or so later, we "accidentally" both slept in my room again. Ever since then, my mom never really bothered to remind me or any boyfriend I've had since then that he needed to sleep on the couch.
Rules in our house are
They must either sleep in the lounge or we sleep in the lounge and they have our room
But we cannot share, this is the rule for my sister when her boyfriend stops here and will be the same rule for me when I do get myself a girlfriend as she stops the night.
My parents are like yours: separate beds and separate floors of the house. But I was allowed to sleep in the same bed as my bf while I was at his partent's house.
At my house we sleep in separate rooms. At his we're supposed to, but his mom's never home. =)
I live at my bf's parents house with him and we share a room. Have been for the last year. But when we go to my mom's house to visit we still have to sleep in separate places, even if it's just on separate couches in the living room. I think with my mom it's more about setting an example for the siblings. The rule is - separate beds until marriage. Same way with most people in my family...
my mom allowed my boyfriend to come home with me from school on the weekends, but we slept in different rooms. being away from school, your parents know exactly what's going on! they were our age once. they aren't naive. i think they just want to know if you respect their rules and wishes.
My parents allow this because they know when I was in college, we were sharing a bed anyway. Besides, my little sister was doing it wayyyyyy before I was, her boyfriend even moved in. They trust me, but then they say I'm a grown woman.
my parents say no way. but his parents actually tell me I can sleep over.
I hate to sound harsh but thats the way it is I mean unless you're over 18 and paying rent it really is your parents house their rules.